"Did not care for the Godfather"
haha - yep, I can definitely see where they're coming from
Thanks, guys. Yep, such a clever irony about this addiction is it makes us want to hide, but the solution is in some kind of connection. I'm trying to find a balance of talking about the PA issues anonymously, having someone to verbally talk to who fully knows me, and more connecting with people in my life (now that I've realised this addiction has made me push so many people away).
@Phin. I definitely recommend to keep looking, if you still feel that need to be less anonymous, if a forum isn't enough for you. Yes, it's such a painful process to tell our problems to different people, to give them a chance, then decide it's not the right connection. But don't give up, because you may find the right person.
A couple of clean days under my belt. Time to look at the week ahead and make a plan.
If I could live last week over again, I?d...
(last) Thursday ? when I felt low. I should have got present and journalled. Accepting a low is okay, but I shouldn?t start riding on automatic, allowing thoughts like ?life sucks, I?m deprived? because this is a trigger.
Friday ? I saw a visual trigger online. I shouldn?t have clicked the bait and followed the trigger. ?This is reboot, and more importantly, this is early reboot. Process it ? what do you want? what do you feel? What do you expect to see? What do you expect it to make you feel? Breathe, relax, write down the self talk for this particular trigger, and refer back to it every time that same trigger reappears.?
Using illicit fantasy during sex. The wife isn?t feeling well this week, so at least that isn?t even an option. But I?ll keep up my daily habit of vizualising healthy sex and rejecting illicit fantasy.
Saturday ? the binge when my wife went out all morning. I should have an internet block on phone (at least making the habit less convenient and comfortable). Also, I want to generally move away from tech and screens this week. So, what if I went out with a notebook and a hardcopy novel? also, I tried to make a big PLAN of activities, hoping to kind of distract myself the whole time. what if I did the opposite and got very mindful? By journaling and planning my week, deciding what I want from the weekend and the coming week. Wife is going out on Sunday morning, so I plan to go to a cafe for a read and some journaling. Whatever happens, don?t dwell in bed! can also see if there are people around I can connect with.
This week I'm moving towards...
Loftier things. More writing, more journaling, more reading, more audiobooks and ideas. Bought a couple of online courses to learn.
This week I'm moving away from...
tech and screens. We?ve been trained to go to tech like it?s a friend. There?s nothing there for you. Getting well isn?t just creating good habits and getting centered, we're weaning off these targeting high-dopamine ?activities?. We?re dependent on distraction; as my zen literature says ? this isn?t happiness.
I'm also planning to read through a lot of my Dobber notes this week - just glimpsed at them and there's a lot of good stuff. Should keep me in the right mindset.
Well, that was just the beginning part of my plan, but I'm pretty cooked. Will finish it up on another day! Take care, all. See you tomorrow.
haha - yep, I can definitely see where they're coming from
Thanks, guys. Yep, such a clever irony about this addiction is it makes us want to hide, but the solution is in some kind of connection. I'm trying to find a balance of talking about the PA issues anonymously, having someone to verbally talk to who fully knows me, and more connecting with people in my life (now that I've realised this addiction has made me push so many people away).
@Phin. I definitely recommend to keep looking, if you still feel that need to be less anonymous, if a forum isn't enough for you. Yes, it's such a painful process to tell our problems to different people, to give them a chance, then decide it's not the right connection. But don't give up, because you may find the right person.
A couple of clean days under my belt. Time to look at the week ahead and make a plan.
If I could live last week over again, I?d...
(last) Thursday ? when I felt low. I should have got present and journalled. Accepting a low is okay, but I shouldn?t start riding on automatic, allowing thoughts like ?life sucks, I?m deprived? because this is a trigger.
Friday ? I saw a visual trigger online. I shouldn?t have clicked the bait and followed the trigger. ?This is reboot, and more importantly, this is early reboot. Process it ? what do you want? what do you feel? What do you expect to see? What do you expect it to make you feel? Breathe, relax, write down the self talk for this particular trigger, and refer back to it every time that same trigger reappears.?
Using illicit fantasy during sex. The wife isn?t feeling well this week, so at least that isn?t even an option. But I?ll keep up my daily habit of vizualising healthy sex and rejecting illicit fantasy.
Saturday ? the binge when my wife went out all morning. I should have an internet block on phone (at least making the habit less convenient and comfortable). Also, I want to generally move away from tech and screens this week. So, what if I went out with a notebook and a hardcopy novel? also, I tried to make a big PLAN of activities, hoping to kind of distract myself the whole time. what if I did the opposite and got very mindful? By journaling and planning my week, deciding what I want from the weekend and the coming week. Wife is going out on Sunday morning, so I plan to go to a cafe for a read and some journaling. Whatever happens, don?t dwell in bed! can also see if there are people around I can connect with.
This week I'm moving towards...
Loftier things. More writing, more journaling, more reading, more audiobooks and ideas. Bought a couple of online courses to learn.
This week I'm moving away from...
tech and screens. We?ve been trained to go to tech like it?s a friend. There?s nothing there for you. Getting well isn?t just creating good habits and getting centered, we're weaning off these targeting high-dopamine ?activities?. We?re dependent on distraction; as my zen literature says ? this isn?t happiness.
I'm also planning to read through a lot of my Dobber notes this week - just glimpsed at them and there's a lot of good stuff. Should keep me in the right mindset.
Well, that was just the beginning part of my plan, but I'm pretty cooked. Will finish it up on another day! Take care, all. See you tomorrow.