EarthWalker
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Day 4. 3/22.
Rebooting trough self-parenting
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EarthWalker
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EarthWalker
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Day 5. 3/23. P dream. Moving on.
EarthWalker
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Restart.
Day 1.
Day 1.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
April 1st. A great way for a clean month. Good luck everyone.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Want to share this YT channel. Putting it in spoiler as there are thumbnails of scantly clad women also the video descriptions are very click-baity. But the content is solid. It has valid psychological explanations of what is going on with women and dating.
Also this channel has some good ideas. Again trigger warning. But the content is solid.
I am getting a more accurate understanding of the world. I am a Sub5 in looks and short. With the videos and the real life experience I had. It makes sense to me why things work out for me the way they work out for me.
With greater understanding of myself and the world - I will have a higher quality of life.
Know tyself.
Onwards and upwards.
Also this channel has some good ideas. Again trigger warning. But the content is solid.
I am getting a more accurate understanding of the world. I am a Sub5 in looks and short. With the videos and the real life experience I had. It makes sense to me why things work out for me the way they work out for me.
With greater understanding of myself and the world - I will have a higher quality of life.
Know tyself.
Onwards and upwards.
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey @EarthWalker, I love the content you've shared there. I've been watching those guys off and on for a few years now and you're right, they have a lot of good content, especially Alexander. Funny enough, @First_step_thousand_miles and I have been talking about some of this over the last week. I've always found this stuff so fascinating and it's one of my favorite subjects. While I definitely think it's good to accept the truth and not live in a false reality (or bubble of lies if you will), I also would suggest to think of reality with women as more nuanced than these ideas propose. I believe with this types of subject, confirmation bias can be a real enemy in "proving" what we alreadly "knew" beforehand, and thus, it can help us and harm us all at the same time.
If you say you're a Sub5 in looks and height from your own experiences, I sure as hell won't deny you that. I've seen firsthand how men are treated differently, and it's a reality we all should "accept" no matter where we find ourselves on the scale. However, do keep in mind that this is somewhat subjective and clouded by our owns experiences. For example, I'm probably a 7 judging from my own experiences (an old 7
), however, I've still been "rejected" many a time, and thus, some of my experiences could show me as further down the scale than my actual reality. What is more, if I hadn't put myself out there like I use to before getting my current Lady, "my experiences" could have been misleading because I would have been going off of a small sample size of a data. Thus, I would say, use your experiences as a basis for the truth, but don't rely on them completely, unless you've really put yourself out there first. Also, no matter what, self improvement is key, not only in attracting a woman, but just being a man in general.
Although we can't really change what nature has given us, we can change ourselves and how we deal with that reality.
Best
Blondie
Addendum: I should add that us men treat hot women differently too, so this is something both sexes are guilty of.
If you say you're a Sub5 in looks and height from your own experiences, I sure as hell won't deny you that. I've seen firsthand how men are treated differently, and it's a reality we all should "accept" no matter where we find ourselves on the scale. However, do keep in mind that this is somewhat subjective and clouded by our owns experiences. For example, I'm probably a 7 judging from my own experiences (an old 7
), however, I've still been "rejected" many a time, and thus, some of my experiences could show me as further down the scale than my actual reality. What is more, if I hadn't put myself out there like I use to before getting my current Lady, "my experiences" could have been misleading because I would have been going off of a small sample size of a data. Thus, I would say, use your experiences as a basis for the truth, but don't rely on them completely, unless you've really put yourself out there first. Also, no matter what, self improvement is key, not only in attracting a woman, but just being a man in general.Although we can't really change what nature has given us, we can change ourselves and how we deal with that reality.
Best
Blondie
Addendum: I should add that us men treat hot women differently too, so this is something both sexes are guilty of.
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Great post above. By the way, I posted this very maxim to my own journal just prior to seeing this! It's a sign.
Be blessed in all your efforts, @EarthWalker.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
@Blondie Good to express a bit of doubt as I might be a bit overly self-critical in the looks department. Never had a rude rejection. I remember one time, I showed a FB rejection message of a girl to a buddy of mine. He was like. Wow. She was super nice with you. So I guess it is more about the height when it comes to physical stuff. I have the average height of a woman. So most women are eye level to me. On a few occasions I do talk to women who are like a full head length bellow my eye level I do find it has a noticeable psychological effect. Quite literally looking down on someone. Anyway.
Yeah, we do treat hot women differently but I'd say. On average, we men put at disadvantage only the really unattractive women. While I'd say women put at a disadvantage everyone except the top 10 % of men. They want to date only up. While I think we are happy to date on same level.
But yeah don't want to get too theoretical.
I think there are 2 components to life. The LAB and LIVING. When we are in the lab we meditate, educate ourselves, listen to others experience, make the model of the world, then there is living, we get to validate our understanding of the world by real life experience. If we are not getting the results while our model of reality says we should - then we need to get back to the lab and change the model. Rinse and repeat.
Yeah, we do treat hot women differently but I'd say. On average, we men put at disadvantage only the really unattractive women. While I'd say women put at a disadvantage everyone except the top 10 % of men. They want to date only up. While I think we are happy to date on same level.
But yeah don't want to get too theoretical.
I think there are 2 components to life. The LAB and LIVING. When we are in the lab we meditate, educate ourselves, listen to others experience, make the model of the world, then there is living, we get to validate our understanding of the world by real life experience. If we are not getting the results while our model of reality says we should - then we need to get back to the lab and change the model. Rinse and repeat.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Be patient.
Blondie
Respected Member
Yes, I do think it is somewhat subjective. Yes height does do something, as you mentioned when looking down on a shorter woman, but it's not everything. It's too easy (especially for us men) to analyze everything and forget that women have their different preferences and such, just like us men, and that it's not completely black and white. Getting too caught up with one's shortcomings and not focusing on one's strengths is not the way to go.
I do agree with this that it's not entirely the same for each sex. While us men would practically jump in bed with many women if given the chance (from average to extremely goodlooking) just for the sake of variety, most women would not, but this makes sense from an evolutionary perpectvie, or even just a logical perpective. Ejaculating and semen is cheap and is easiliy replenished for us men, while a women's furtility, plus the risk of having a baby with the village loser, is a much higher risk than it is for us men, thus, the need for "quality control" for women. Us men may not like this fact, but complaining about is is what historically separates the men from the boys.
However, at the end of the day, we can get too theroretical about all of this, and live in our heads instaed of actually living life and talking to women. Wherever you are on the "so called scale", do what you can to be the best man you can be and do it for yourself only and not for any particular woman. And most importantly, be mindful not to get too hostile towards women and their "dating procivities", because that will definitely shoot you in the foot for getting a real woman in the future. The problem I have with some of that content, is not necessarily the content per se, but the guys that it attracts. Reading the comment section would have you believe that all American women are bar whores or extreme feminists who will never respect men blah blah blah, which is simply NOT true. Do I see what they're talking about? Yes I do. Do I not agree that there is a trend for "modern" women to be heading down the wrong direction? Yes I do, but of course, the same could be said about us men. However, NOT all women are like this, and all I can think about when reading this shit is, you morans have got to get off the internet and start actually talking to women. If women are all "sluts" where you hang out, why don't you frequent somewhere else? Maybe go to church or the library instead of complaining about the "women" at the bar scene. It's like a woman bitching about the men at a frat house or somehting, it's like, what the fuck? As they say, your future can be defined by the five people you hang out with the most. If "all" the women in your life suck and only care for looks, height, money and have No respect for men etc., then that is just as much a reflection upon YOU as it is upon them. We are who we choose to hang out with. There are no exceptions to this rule.
This wasn't directed AT YOU, just the morons online.
Anyways, I've said my peace.
Best
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EarthWalker
Respected Member
I'll be in my mancave masturbating to P and writing comments about women. Just kidding.
Totally. Need to get off the internet and into real life. But I see nothing wrong with a bit of complaining that chads have much easier time with women that the rest. This said, for sure there are no excuses not to engage with real life and work on getting better.
Also quite helpful to know that for a woman a chad approaching a woman is totally different than a regular guy approaching a woman or an unattractive guy approaching woman.
I watched this video of Alex today. Said that when someone bumps in a woman. She waits with their reaction until she sees who bumped into them and then their react. Maybe not 100% accurate but I find this fascinating.
Totally. Need to get off the internet and into real life. But I see nothing wrong with a bit of complaining that chads have much easier time with women that the rest. This said, for sure there are no excuses not to engage with real life and work on getting better.
Also quite helpful to know that for a woman a chad approaching a woman is totally different than a regular guy approaching a woman or an unattractive guy approaching woman.
I watched this video of Alex today. Said that when someone bumps in a woman. She waits with their reaction until she sees who bumped into them and then their react. Maybe not 100% accurate but I find this fascinating.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Unsurprisingly P thoughts are coming up often for me in the last few days. It is not the thoughts that are a problem. As thoughts are easy to shift. Thoughts are fast. I heard somewhere we have like 20K thoughts per day. They are fast and light. I can shift between planning a vacation to P in matter of seconds.
But the emotions. They are slow and heavy. That sticky feeling of lust that just lingers and lingers and lingers. Requires a high level of mastery. The feel good vibes of P.
Here comes so many different things. Level of patience. But also self-discipline.
Discipline = Freedom
Patience = Freedom
Feeling very tempted to use P again.
But the emotions. They are slow and heavy. That sticky feeling of lust that just lingers and lingers and lingers. Requires a high level of mastery. The feel good vibes of P.
Here comes so many different things. Level of patience. But also self-discipline.
Discipline = Freedom
Patience = Freedom
Feeling very tempted to use P again.
Blondie
Respected Member
Stay strong brother. I understand, I was having those thoughts a few days ago. For me it always comes down to what do I really want? Long term happiness or short term pleasure? Reminding myself how bad I feel afterwards is usually enough to keep me away. God I hate that feeling.
Stay strong
I feel that. Thoughts are lighting fast, whereas emotions can linger (but only so long if ignored; they linger longer with attention).
See them (and its a matter of perception) as 'thought-feeling', as a unit arising from the 'lower brain' suggesting future p-use. We dismiss them simply by ignoring them (like a telemarketer). If obsession is heavier, just breathe through it.
You got this, EW!
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Found this videos useful.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Breaking P problem down.
1) Using P as emotional regulation. Escape from emotions. Trauma coping mechanism.
2) Using P out of habit. Decades of conditioning.
When getting a certain level of emotional regulation and psychological stability 2) can be addressed.
To change a habit first need to remove the need for the habit. This is addressed with psychological work.
Second substitution is the only real solution. Need to slowly work on substituting the P habit.
Nothing in nature happens overnight (there are exceptions). But growth of a plant is gradual. Decay is gradual as well.
So transformation of a habit needs to be gradual as well.
From unhealthy -> to healthy.
Orthogonal to P is the need for sexual release. The body is designed to have sex. Celibacy doesn't work. Need to find a way to honor this. Again.
Not going from one extreme -> fapping to P multiple times per week -> to nofap. This is too extreme.
Need to find a healthy duration of abstinence from sexual release. This is what I was talking about and felt puzzled about.
Sometimes after MO I'd actually feel better and more energetic even. It puzzled me greatly. And sometime after MO I'd feel drained.
When I felt better after MO. It was due to honoring the interval with which the body wants a release. Energy was lost yes. But it also gets replenished. The dam I was talking about. The water builds in the dam then it wants to be released.
When I'd feel worse after MO. I didn't honor the interval. More energy was lost than created.
The videos linked make sense. The sexual energy doesn't really get transformed into something else. The body builds up sex energy then it needs to release it. It doesn't really automatically transform it into non-sex energy. If no release happens. Then
1) getting the feeling of super horny and aroused all the time and just pent up like a pressure cooker. Been here many times. Not fun.
2) nocturnal emissions. Not fun as well.
3) shutdown of sexual function. Not fun as well.
Any of this is not really healthy. Will find what healthy MO interval is for me. Extremes are not a solution. From regular PMO to abstinence. From one extreme to the other. But I feel like occasional MO (no P) is the way to go. To find balance and normalcy.
Onwards and upwards
EW
1) Using P as emotional regulation. Escape from emotions. Trauma coping mechanism.
2) Using P out of habit. Decades of conditioning.
When getting a certain level of emotional regulation and psychological stability 2) can be addressed.
To change a habit first need to remove the need for the habit. This is addressed with psychological work.
Second substitution is the only real solution. Need to slowly work on substituting the P habit.
Nothing in nature happens overnight (there are exceptions). But growth of a plant is gradual. Decay is gradual as well.
So transformation of a habit needs to be gradual as well.
From unhealthy -> to healthy.
Orthogonal to P is the need for sexual release. The body is designed to have sex. Celibacy doesn't work. Need to find a way to honor this. Again.
Not going from one extreme -> fapping to P multiple times per week -> to nofap. This is too extreme.
Need to find a healthy duration of abstinence from sexual release. This is what I was talking about and felt puzzled about.
Sometimes after MO I'd actually feel better and more energetic even. It puzzled me greatly. And sometime after MO I'd feel drained.
When I felt better after MO. It was due to honoring the interval with which the body wants a release. Energy was lost yes. But it also gets replenished. The dam I was talking about. The water builds in the dam then it wants to be released.
When I'd feel worse after MO. I didn't honor the interval. More energy was lost than created.
The videos linked make sense. The sexual energy doesn't really get transformed into something else. The body builds up sex energy then it needs to release it. It doesn't really automatically transform it into non-sex energy. If no release happens. Then
1) getting the feeling of super horny and aroused all the time and just pent up like a pressure cooker. Been here many times. Not fun.
2) nocturnal emissions. Not fun as well.
3) shutdown of sexual function. Not fun as well.
Any of this is not really healthy. Will find what healthy MO interval is for me. Extremes are not a solution. From regular PMO to abstinence. From one extreme to the other. But I feel like occasional MO (no P) is the way to go. To find balance and normalcy.
Onwards and upwards
EW