Thanks akpal2 for taking the time to reply. Yes this is the only way. Never giving up. Hoping your are doing well.
Good point anubu0, thank you
Peaceful Healing, thanks for your input. Indeed, we need a strong and well-defined motivation to keep us going and finally overcome this (and every) addiction. Very interesting the information about the inner judge or, can we understand it as conscience? Either way, there is a need of a having a well-formed conscience. There is too much noise in the world, both offline and online, and that certainly clouds our judgement of good and evil. I appreciate your encouraging words and hope and pray you and your husband find the healing and understanding you need. My very best wishes to both of you.
Update:
It's been more than a month since my last post. It is good to say that I've remained clean. My overall wellbeing is very positive and with a strong desire to keep on improving. I believe that, even though there have been a few relapses, the length of my previous streaks have had a positive effect in my brain. It seems that they have helped me flush a lot of bad stuff off me. Because of this, I conclude that even if one falls, the progress and efforts put on previous days/weeks/..., are not wasted. Your brain is improving, slowly but every single day counts. Just keep going, it gets lighter the more clean days you are able to complete.
Now, I am more engaged in my work obligations and hoping to advance in my career. I keep on looking for a better job while giving my best in my current one. My confidence is much better, though I struggle to find the right balance and not falling into pride either. The relationship with my wife and kid is great. These lockdowns have helped us a lot to be united as a family and enjoy our time together. If ever going back to a regular office building/schedule, it is going to be very hard to do so.
Prayer and religious formation has been central for me in my process. In addition to ask God for help and forgiveness, it has been very helpful to learn about the virtues, vices, human nature/weakness, the evil one, and reading about the lives of exemplary people. Men and women who wholeheartedly embraced celibacy and chastity, something that is often mocked in our days. It requires not only guts to embrace and training to develop into virtue, but help from above. Ask and you shall receive.
Thanks for reading. May God help us all.