This time, I have to succeed.

bilbobaggins

Active Member
That?s good news, I am glad for you. You also seem to have a good mindset, all that you wrote made a lot of sense to me. I hope you continue to see improvements in the next weeks.

Take care, friend.
 

anubu0

Active Member
Hey mousemat,

Just checking in, how are you doing so far? Hopefully things are getting better. Sending my best wishes.
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Hi anubu0

I'm doing OK thanks.

Here's an update and a word of caution. I decided to masturbate for the first time after Christmas. In hindsight, this wasn't a great idea! I fell into a pattern of compulsive masturbation, where I masturbated most days, sometimes twice a day. I guess this is what you would call 'the chaser effect'. I've avoided porn, which is good, but I didn't start this reboot to regain the ability to masturbate. My goal is to have sex with my partner. It's been really difficult to stop masturbating. I last masturbated 48 hours ago, but the urge to masturbate again is really strong. I'm worried that this might lead to a relapse, and I don't want to watch porn again.

So, be very careful about reintroducing masturbation into your reboot. Obviously, if you're single then it's probably necessary, but if like me your goal is to have sex with your partner, I would avoid reintroducing masturbation too soon.
 

bilbobaggins

Active Member
Thanks for the warning. I hope these urges pass for you, you have been doing so well! Might be a good idea to use extra precautions for a few days, until it passes. Leaving the house, putting your device in a different place, you know, that kinda of things. They are kind of extreme, but whatever works, man. Good luck.
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Thanks Bilbo. Leaving the house is a little difficult with the Covid situation. It's unfortunate that this reboot attempt has coincided with the pandemic. Anyway, we just have to work with what we have, eh?

I have to spend a lot of time in front of my computer for work, so far it hasn't been too difficult to resist the urges to look at porn. I've been waking up with decent erections, which is when I've been masturbating. Last thing at night, just before going to bed, has also been a bit tempting. It's day 160 of no porn! I just need to get another run of no masturbation going. I'm curious if I'll slip into another flatline now I've stopped masturbating again.

Thanks again. The support from the people on this forum is amazing! Good luck!
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
mousemat1 said:
Thanks Bilbo. Leaving the house is a little difficult with the Covid situation. It's unfortunate that this reboot attempt has coincided with the pandemic. Anyway, we just have to work with what we have, eh?

I have to spend a lot of time in front of my computer for work, so far it hasn't been too difficult to resist the urges to look at porn. I've been waking up with decent erections, which is when I've been masturbating. Last thing at night, just before going to bed, has also been a bit tempting. It's day 160 of no porn! I just need to get another run of no masturbation going. I'm curious if I'll slip into another flatline now I've stopped masturbating again.

Thanks again. The support from the people on this forum is amazing! Good luck!

Great journal mousemat. I understand the chaser effect. I tried it a few weeks ago to only masturbate by touch. I succeeded but then fell into a relapse. Just awful. Now I am on Day 8 of the latest reboot.
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Thanks akpal.

Yea, I'm really worried about relapsing at the moment. I think I reintroduce masturbation too early. I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation, but if you think about it, our masturbation habits are usually linked to watching porn. It's so obvious now when I write this, but an addicts brain is a cunning one. I think my brain 'tricked' me into masturbating knowing that porn would soon follow.

I'm really sorry to hear about your relapse. I think the vast majority of us relapse. You just have to keep it short, refocus, and start again. Getting a run of 8 days after a relapse is a great achievement. When I relapsed in the past, it usually meant weeks of masturbating to porn.

Anyway akpal, stay strong, keep focused, and keep going. You will beat this addiction. Good luck!!!
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Thanks, I agree, M to us is intimately linked to porn, no pun intended. So M can be dangerous for us. Good to see you make progress..it's excellent
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
It's 10 days since I last masturbated and for the last couple of days I've been waking up without and morning erection. I tried stroking this morning and got no response, so I think I've started another flatline.

I was frustrated and started masturbating at Christmas (no porn), which then became a cycle of masturbating. I decided to stop again because I felt a relapse coming, but now I'm paying the price. I don't know if this period of masturbation will really set my recovery back. My libido is still zero. Today is day 168!
 

Maglue

Active Member
Hey buddy,
Great read...
What is sissy porn?
I'm day 1 of no porn geeze maybe I'm in well over my head I'm about to find out ... I started a page... I'm dealing with multiple other addictions and I'm getting on top of them all...
Perhaps porn is harder than all my addictions combined...
How many times have you given up porn before?
Did you have a very serious addiction?

Much love brother porn is for losers man...
We want the real thing now !!!
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Hey Maglue.

Believe me, you do not want to know what 'sissy' porn is. Please, don't even go checking out of curiosity. It's as close to rock bottom that I think a porn user can get.

It's great that you've made the decision to rid yourself of porn. It really is nasty stuff.

How many times have I given up before? I can't remember how many times I've tried to kick this addiction. If you're curious, you can read some of my old posts which chart the number of days between relapses. It's depressing reading. The first time I rebooted I recovered in about 38 days and had some great sex. I went back to porn and then each reboot has taken longer and longer. The best streak of no porn/no masturbation was about 300 days, but porn pulled me back in. It's horrible.

I admire your courage if you're tackling other addictions as well as porn addiction. I really hope you beat them all. I find coming here and writing my thoughts down really helps. I think this is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome because there are so many triggers around us.

Anyway, welcome on board. I wish you lots of luck man! You can and you WILL beat all your addictions!

mouse
 

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Maglue said:
Hey buddy,
Great read...
What is sissy porn?
I'm day 1 of no porn geeze maybe I'm in well over my head I'm about to find out ... I started a page... I'm dealing with multiple other addictions and I'm getting on top of them all...
Perhaps porn is harder than all my addictions combined...
How many times have you given up porn before?
Did you have a very serious addiction?

Much love brother porn is for losers man...
We want the real thing now !!!

I have given up once before and it took me 5 -6 months to recover and be able to have sex and another couple months to get it up with a decent level of confidence.
 

Maglue

Active Member
Hey mousemat,
Everyone is different... most if not all addictions are stupid... but porn is a real deviant one... most of our problems stem from it... probably because of all the over stimulation we are doing to our brains...

but now that I know what it's done to me I dont see it being a problem giving up... as I said I want something else so much more than porn that I will now do anything it takes to have it.... I am very hopeful...
It might take absolutely everything but I will do it, and so can you...

Meditating, journals, yoga, new hobbies... I'm even prepared to go fuickin dancing and I hate dancing.. .. I started fasting today !!!.... fitness.. and of course no fap which is a totally new idea to me...
I have nothing left to lose so I will do it all...
......
Is sissy porn like beating up someone?
Dont worry I wont look it up I'm just interested in my own development...

If you think about how porn never did anything for you good, and how bad its fuicking our minds then giving it up should be an easy process...

You will do it...
If you cant do it for good then the other things you want from life are just not important enough....
What is it that you want from life?
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
'Sissy' porn is about self-humiliation. I only ever watched vids, but I know some people really get into it and act out on it. I knew it was the pits when I discovered it. I knew I'd pretty much reached rock bottom when I discovered it. So, I knew that this is absolutely the most important thing to beat in my life right now.

Guys tend to escalate to weirder and weirder porn. Get out now before you see something you'll really regret.
 

Maglue

Active Member
It's time to rewire our brains and think positive thoughts so that we can create these circuits which in turn become true....
Study this on youtube...
Think good stuff and good stuff will happen...
This is 100% curable...
No more fake porn , just the real meaningful sex and hearty relationships
 

Maglue

Active Member
I was a total addict for numerous stuff and I wont ever be going back ....
I just know it, theres no bloody way.... if I can beat 5 different addictions then you can beat this ... and you will do it easily ....

This addiction is not your fault....!!
But now we know what Pied is, further abuse would be...

I'm starting yoga and talking to new people ... and doing the research...

PS, buy bitcoin
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
If I could find ?24,500, sure I'd buy one bitcoin!  ;D

If I had ?24,500, I'd spend it on something less risky. ???
 
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