I definitely get how you feel. Even more so when my GF says it to me about taking a step forward and then 2 steps back. This is tough stuff, but don't let yourself forget how much better life is without this stuff. And don't be afraid to cut yourself a little slack cause no one is perfect. But keep it in mind that you are still improving.I seem to always be going one step forward and then right back again. I just MO:d to an erotic novell this was after an hour of urges. It was an awful novel. I was really close to looking at pictures. I feel a little bad about my actions now. It is easy to talk the talk another thing completely to walk the walk. Some people would probably consider this a relapse but my definition of relapse is PMO, that means videos/pictures. Still this is a setback for sure. A good thing is that I am taking the train to my family to celebrate Christmas tomorrow so I will be in a new environment for a week. I am grateful for my blockers that stopped me from doing anything even worse. Still, I should put some more responsibility for my actions on myself.
I should listen to myself and the people that write to me more. I really don't want more incidents like this.