Noah
Member
Can you put a porn blocker on your computer or router?Day 11: Other than the money I spent in the middle of the night, I have spent nothing nor have I checked the site.
Can you put a porn blocker on your computer or router?Day 11: Other than the money I spent in the middle of the night, I have spent nothing nor have I checked the site.
I can, and I have, but it doesn't work. I know I will eventually try to remove it. I need a way to place the block and make it virtually impossible to go back.Can you put a porn blocker on your computer or router?
Day 12: No money spent, didn't check the site. I have work to do.Day 11: Other than the money I spent in the middle of the night, I have spent nothing nor have I checked the site.
Day 13: No money spent, didn't check the site. Did work most of the day and exercised. Productive day.Day 12: No money spent, didn't check the site. I have work to do.
Day 14: Very busy day. Didn't have much time to relax even. So, I definitely did not spend any money or check the site. Trudging along. When I have free time, I want to dig deep and have myself focus on other things so I don't relapse.Day 13: No money spent, didn't check the site. Did work most of the day and exercised. Productive day.
This sounds like good inspiration for a mantra. Something you can tell yourself when you're feeling an urge. "Cam girls are here to take my money, period." I've been using a mantra to get over my porn addiction, and it works. Gets myself out of the urge.Cam girls are very hard to resist , they know how to get your attention and make you spend once and then again and again .
but hey , they are playing A game by hiding their disgust about you and deceiving you by acting so nice to you because they know you can’t resist that admiration and attention . They know you will open up your wallet anytime . It’s just a matter of “when” and not “if” .
so one thing I read in the book “Breaking the cycle” stuck me that said , “prostitutes and cam girls alike are only here to take your money …. Period … “ don’t get fooled twice , once for their admiration and twice by actually paying them your hard earned money for their time .
instead use that time to make money/ earn true peace for yourself by upping your game of sobriety .
Day 15: Checked the site today. After a few minutes, I remembered how the cam girl addiction messed up my finances. I remembered the loss of peace of mind which I always had. I remembered that things can still get worse if I don't stop. I worked so hard earlier in my life to achieve what I had achieved. I knew that the cam girl addiction would put all my earlier efforts in vain, and I couldn't do that. So I logged off and spent nothing.Day 14: Very busy day. Didn't have much time to relax even. So, I definitely did not spend any money or check the site. Trudging along. When I have free time, I want to dig deep and have myself focus on other things so I don't relapse.
Day 16. Didn't spend any money. Didn't check the site once. Had a pretty busy day. I know when I have busy days I won't spend anything. I am afraid that once things slow down I will relapse. I am currently keeping in mind the things I need to work towards in life: Paying family back, getting out of debt so I can buy a house, peace of mind. I let the cam girls control me for far too long.Day 15: Checked the site today. After a few minutes, I remembered how the cam girl addiction messed up my finances. I remembered the loss of peace of mind which I always had. I remembered that things can still get worse if I don't stop. I worked so hard earlier in my life to achieve what I had achieved. I knew that the cam girl addiction would put all my earlier efforts in vain, and I couldn't do that. So I logged off and spent nothing.
Day 17. Failed again. Almost $200 down the drain. I'm tired.Day 16. Didn't spend any money. Didn't check the site once. Had a pretty busy day. I know when I have busy days I won't spend anything. I am afraid that once things slow down I will relapse. I am currently keeping in mind the things I need to work towards in life: Paying family back, getting out of debt so I can buy a house, peace of mind. I let the cam girls control me for far too long.
Day 18. No money spentDay 17. Failed again. Almost $200 down the drain. I'm tired.
I feel like I am possessed by a demon. I KNOW that this is bad. I KNOW they only want my money. I KNOW that I am ruining my life. The scary thing is, the moments when I feel really horny, when I really want it, I will tell myself these things and I will say in my head: "I don't care". That is terrifying. That isn't me talking. I have lost control of myself and I need to fight myself and rid myself of this demon, rid myself of this addiction.
The urge has always been the worst right after I have sex. It's like I don't want the party to stop. No amount of additional sex helps. I still want the cam girls afterwards. I had sex on Friday and it opened a can of worms. I had sex again today and I still wanted the cam girls. I am going to have sex tomorrow and I STILL want some cam girls.
I think I might have a general sex addiction. I want to have sex every hour, but no woman's vagina is ready for that, at least not with me. At best, she will need a few hours because she is sore. Sometimes it takes days. I get antsy. I am not a celebrity or someone with social clout so I don't have a plethora of "hoes" on deck. I can have sex, I enjoy it, but I obviously don't have enough women lined up to have sex anytime the urge comes. I love the cam girls because it is the closest thing I can get to having a shared sexual experience with someone ANYTIME I feel like. It's also the only way I can have a shared sexual experience with multiple women in an absurdly short amount of time. I can't pull that off in real life. I cannot call up 5 different women to have sex with in the span of 4 hours. But on a cam site? Easy to have fun with 4 women in an hour. It's live, and I get to make someone cum with me. BUT...this stops today.
I requested for the cam support to permanently blacklist my name and my card. I will go back and get them to blacklist all the cards I own. I want it to be impossible to spend money on the site. I am committed to making a change and I need to cut off access in a way where I cannot reverse it. In the past I have tried blocking it myself or getting them to close my accounts, but I would always unblock the site or make a new account. I need to put safeguards against myself. I am going to focus on busting nuts on this girl tomorrow instead of busting my bank account.
Day 19. No money spent. Really worried about finances..Day 18. No money spent
Hi Man how are you holding up. Keep faith in yourself!I have been at war with myself...