Porn is not an option
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
Galatians51
Active Member
75 days! Well done sir. Merry Christmas to you as well.
Blondie
Respected Member
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 77
It feels fantastic to be porn-free this long. To be free once again during the holidays puts a smile on my rugged weather-worn face. I'm definitely living life at this moment. It's not always perfect, and certainly not always peaceful, but one hundred percent better than the alternative.
Don't give up and ever throw in the towel gentlemen. We all make mistakes, I made mine not very long ago, but we always have another chance. Actually that's not true. We only have so many chances before our words mean absolutely nothing. NOTHING. Nothing to ourselves, and most assuredly nothing to our loved ones. So let's don't fuck up our precious chances that life gives us. Although it's true we do have some in the reservoir, and life is more gracious to us than we deserve, our lives also follow the laws of nature, and whatever is contrary to the laws of nature, is contrary to reality, and you will reap your reality in the end. There is no deathbed confession that will give you your life back, your wasted time back. Sure, it might save your soul if you believe in that sort of thing, but it won't give your precious life back, because it can't. What has been spent is spent and done away with. Does that scare you? Does that scare me? We only have so many chances. Thus, let's be grateful for them.
I don't know about you, but I'm grateful for that chance that was given to me 77 days ago.
Sooner than later we will all turn back to dust. Let's make it worth it in the end.
Do we truly want to quit, or are we only pretending to?
It feels fantastic to be porn-free this long. To be free once again during the holidays puts a smile on my rugged weather-worn face. I'm definitely living life at this moment. It's not always perfect, and certainly not always peaceful, but one hundred percent better than the alternative.
Don't give up and ever throw in the towel gentlemen. We all make mistakes, I made mine not very long ago, but we always have another chance. Actually that's not true. We only have so many chances before our words mean absolutely nothing. NOTHING. Nothing to ourselves, and most assuredly nothing to our loved ones. So let's don't fuck up our precious chances that life gives us. Although it's true we do have some in the reservoir, and life is more gracious to us than we deserve, our lives also follow the laws of nature, and whatever is contrary to the laws of nature, is contrary to reality, and you will reap your reality in the end. There is no deathbed confession that will give you your life back, your wasted time back. Sure, it might save your soul if you believe in that sort of thing, but it won't give your precious life back, because it can't. What has been spent is spent and done away with. Does that scare you? Does that scare me? We only have so many chances. Thus, let's be grateful for them.
I don't know about you, but I'm grateful for that chance that was given to me 77 days ago.
Sooner than later we will all turn back to dust. Let's make it worth it in the end.
Do we truly want to quit, or are we only pretending to?
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Speaking truth here. We are responsible for our choices, and 99% of the time the blame for misfortunes / issues is on us. Yes, some people have been dealt better hands to start with, but we are the ones who decide what hand we finish with. If even a poor orphan can rise up to become president or a billionaire or an astronaut (plenty of historical examples), then how can we allow ourselves to throw in the towel? Keep crushing it man!
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 78
Thanks brother!
Fuck yeah is right!
I agree with this 100 percent. We are what we do.
Thanks brother!
Galatians51
Active Member
80 days - way to go!!
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Almost at 3 months man! Let's get it!!! 2024 is our year brother
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Happy new year my guy!
Blondie
Respected Member
Hey, everyone, @Galatians51, @swimmer97, @First_step_thousand_miles, @Pdub, and @GBS, thanks for your New Year wishes! It means a lot.
Sorry for my absence as of late, I've been out of the country experiencing life and living it up, however, I just got back late last night. The trip was amazing (it has to to with my passion and career) and really pushed me in areas of growth that I haven't given time to for many years, and sometimes, has been a real cause of turning to porn in the past. Unfortunately, because of how far I was pushing myself, and feeling at times very uncomfortable, I relapsed on New Years (right after the new year
), thus, just short of my 90 day goal.
So what do I think about this?
Well, I've been thinking about it a good bit over the last few days and have come to this conclusion. I would rather relapse here and there (though never making excuses for them) than living a complacent or "armchair life" utterly porn-free. Now obviously I'm shooting for both, and don't want to make this sound like an excuse, because it's not. However, this trip was a complete success for me, and is a product of years of hard work, and I saw for the first time, the man I envision myself being in the future. Nevertheless, I blew it, and I can't deny this fact. I believe if I can work this shit out like I did with my parents, and can get over this hurdle in my life that's been there for a long time, I will see a future sunrise clear and free from the false promise of porn's flashing neon lights.
So what is this hurdle in my life?
Loneliness I reckon. Sometimes I feel like God's lonely man, which is a saying from Taxi Driver. Now don't get me wrong, I have no intentions of slaying pimps or cleaning up the "streets", but I've always loved that line, and, good or bad, have often identified myself with it. Why do I feel lonely? I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe it's because I'm introverted. Or maybe it's because I don't share often enough what I feeling or thinking inside, thus, I go around life feeling alone sometimes. Seen but not heard, like a flash of lightning, without the full presence of its bellowing thunder. Of course, I'm not always this way, and sometimes, I can be very extroverted, make friends, be funny and social (many times on this trip), but yet, however, there's always this feeling of separation, a disconnect between "them" and me. Like I'm an observer of their world but not apart of it. A foreigner in a strange land. Most of the time, I'm okay with this, but sometimes, I wish I could become a citizen and partake of their customs and social rituals. But fuck who am I kidding, if I did this, I wouldn't be me, I would be "something" else, but there has to be a balance somewhere and I aim to find it.
Maybe loneliness isn't the problem, maybe the fear of it is.
God's Lonely Man
I set out to see the sights that night. I set out to see this new city in a strange land.
The streets were shinning back at me, drenched in a recent rain that beckoned in a new year.
The people were gathering, anticipating the fireworks from many points of the city.
Excitement was raining down from the heavens, if not, the famous skyline above.
Foreign glances. Foreign smells. Foreign goddesses.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
A friend had asked me to hang with him, for he said it was New Year's Eve after all.
But I refused and said I was "too busy", "too tired", or maybe "just too lonely".
Thus I set out for the night by myself. A man alone among the thronging crowds.
There was drinking. There was laughter. And skin was aplenty throughout the night's cold dampness.
I was in a foreign land using foreign words, but my thoughts were at home within myself.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
She smiled at me, and smelled of foreign perfume. A living goddess in this strange land.
She asked me directions she alreadly knew, and looked at me but did not listen to my answer.
By her eyes she made her intentions clear, and her friend stood giggling by her side, in on the intrigue.
I said my answer and said goodnight, if only I could have joined her, it would have been a "good night".
I wrestled within myself, to fuck or not to fuck, that is the question. I thought it through, then turned away.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
I walked miles that lonely night, in that lonely beautiful cold city. They say loneliness is much better among the crowds.
I walked alleyways that drunkards have never known. I saw sights and views that the gods have been forbidden to see.
They say no one knows a city like Loneliness. For in that state of mind, your eyes are open to the truth before you.
For Loneliness sees through what is not always meant to be seen.
A smile is not always a smile. A laugh is often a shield. And an offer to fuck, is often an offer to forget what has been seen.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
Sorry for my absence as of late, I've been out of the country experiencing life and living it up, however, I just got back late last night. The trip was amazing (it has to to with my passion and career) and really pushed me in areas of growth that I haven't given time to for many years, and sometimes, has been a real cause of turning to porn in the past. Unfortunately, because of how far I was pushing myself, and feeling at times very uncomfortable, I relapsed on New Years (right after the new year
), thus, just short of my 90 day goal.So what do I think about this?
Well, I've been thinking about it a good bit over the last few days and have come to this conclusion. I would rather relapse here and there (though never making excuses for them) than living a complacent or "armchair life" utterly porn-free. Now obviously I'm shooting for both, and don't want to make this sound like an excuse, because it's not. However, this trip was a complete success for me, and is a product of years of hard work, and I saw for the first time, the man I envision myself being in the future. Nevertheless, I blew it, and I can't deny this fact. I believe if I can work this shit out like I did with my parents, and can get over this hurdle in my life that's been there for a long time, I will see a future sunrise clear and free from the false promise of porn's flashing neon lights.
So what is this hurdle in my life?
Loneliness I reckon. Sometimes I feel like God's lonely man, which is a saying from Taxi Driver. Now don't get me wrong, I have no intentions of slaying pimps or cleaning up the "streets", but I've always loved that line, and, good or bad, have often identified myself with it. Why do I feel lonely? I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe it's because I'm introverted. Or maybe it's because I don't share often enough what I feeling or thinking inside, thus, I go around life feeling alone sometimes. Seen but not heard, like a flash of lightning, without the full presence of its bellowing thunder. Of course, I'm not always this way, and sometimes, I can be very extroverted, make friends, be funny and social (many times on this trip), but yet, however, there's always this feeling of separation, a disconnect between "them" and me. Like I'm an observer of their world but not apart of it. A foreigner in a strange land. Most of the time, I'm okay with this, but sometimes, I wish I could become a citizen and partake of their customs and social rituals. But fuck who am I kidding, if I did this, I wouldn't be me, I would be "something" else, but there has to be a balance somewhere and I aim to find it.
Maybe loneliness isn't the problem, maybe the fear of it is.
God's Lonely Man
I set out to see the sights that night. I set out to see this new city in a strange land.
The streets were shinning back at me, drenched in a recent rain that beckoned in a new year.
The people were gathering, anticipating the fireworks from many points of the city.
Excitement was raining down from the heavens, if not, the famous skyline above.
Foreign glances. Foreign smells. Foreign goddesses.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
A friend had asked me to hang with him, for he said it was New Year's Eve after all.
But I refused and said I was "too busy", "too tired", or maybe "just too lonely".
Thus I set out for the night by myself. A man alone among the thronging crowds.
There was drinking. There was laughter. And skin was aplenty throughout the night's cold dampness.
I was in a foreign land using foreign words, but my thoughts were at home within myself.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
She smiled at me, and smelled of foreign perfume. A living goddess in this strange land.
She asked me directions she alreadly knew, and looked at me but did not listen to my answer.
By her eyes she made her intentions clear, and her friend stood giggling by her side, in on the intrigue.
I said my answer and said goodnight, if only I could have joined her, it would have been a "good night".
I wrestled within myself, to fuck or not to fuck, that is the question. I thought it through, then turned away.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
I walked miles that lonely night, in that lonely beautiful cold city. They say loneliness is much better among the crowds.
I walked alleyways that drunkards have never known. I saw sights and views that the gods have been forbidden to see.
They say no one knows a city like Loneliness. For in that state of mind, your eyes are open to the truth before you.
For Loneliness sees through what is not always meant to be seen.
A smile is not always a smile. A laugh is often a shield. And an offer to fuck, is often an offer to forget what has been seen.
I walked the streets that night. God's lonely man.
Last edited:
OrangeSpider
Active Member
Sweet and sour, such is life. I rejoice and hurt with you at the same time. Awesome introspection and reflection. Sounds like you are growing allot in knowing who you are, what you want and what are your struggles; so valuable. The journey continues, and it sounds like you are even better fit for it now.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
You're killing it Blondie! 90 fuckin days!