Let's begin a new journey

Day 1
Hi everyone,

I am 20 years old and i wanted to share my story. I have never had a girlfriend since my childhood. When i was a child i wouldn't feel realy comfortable with people or feeling close to them. The truth is that i could at any moment face those fears and get the life I want but instead of i prefered to play video games or watch porn. But I have changed since my childhood. Now i understand what i want. I want deep connections and a healthy life. I have already good habits such as meditating, taking cold showers, positive affirmations etc... And i can connect with people. But there are still old habits and patterns from my old life and i am done with it. They don't make me happier or feel pleasurable at all. I have already done 77 days of Nofap when I was 18. Now I want to do more, leaving this bad coping habit and leaving the old me.
Day 2

Today was fine, i studied alot, tomorrow i have exams. I am disgusted by all images on the net we can find, our society is really sexualized . I really want to quit porn definitely so I can watch a women in the eyes and not thinking of porn. I mean watching porn change my vision of women and it makes me see them as objects or at least as a goal to get pleasure.
Day 3

I am feeling fine, just a bit tired by all the exams. Currently i am focusing on eating well and slowly and being grateful for having the possibility to eat everyday. Moreover i will try do harder things and what feels incomfortable. By doing this over things will be easier.
Day 4
I keep going on my journey. I still didn't get urges but i am really scared of doing it again. After doing i really feel shameful and unworthy. I watched a lot of posts. People undergo so much pain because of P. I don't even know why it is allowed.... And there are no regulations on it or warning on its consequences. Moreover we see pictures of women barely naked on every ads or what ... I am feeling really mad.
Next time i feel urges i will try to think of how I will feel after and do some healthy activies like going for a run or taking a cold shower.
Whoever reads I wish you all the best and never forget to love yourself
Day 5
Yesterday was weird, I was really tired but i still went to bed very later than my usual time of sleep. I have had wet dream too. I must be vigilant today when i am tired it's easy for me to find excuses. Anyway i will stick to my plan as always because If i make a choice it's because it's healthy for me and it makes me happier.
Day 6
This morning i understood something that we can hear alot like don't wait other people to love you if you want to be loved. And I actually understood that PMO make me look women as a way of getting pleasure instead of a seing them as real human with feelings etc... I haven't had urges today but i did something that i hate : binge eating really alot. But it's proud of myself since i did my homeworks and what i planned even if i were very tired.
I don't want to PMO again, i can get the illusion for a moment that it brings genuine pleasure for a time but that's not the case. It's only the relief of the addiction and after PMO I feel like shit, unmotivated and with self confidence close to 0. What's more days after it still reduces my energy and it brings to me social anxiety.
PS: Sorry for all the mistakes, i am not the best in english
Day 7.
I had so much energy today, it was insane. i went to the gym and i lifted so much. I guess it's the testoterone peak. Anyway I must be careful and remind me why i am doing nofap. I do no fap because i can't beart this feeling of feeling awkward and ashame with women. But also, I want to keep my energy and my self confidence.
Day 8
I did nothing good today.... i am done of video games and binge eating..... It doesn't make me happy. I don't know why i do these activites. I watched ecchi anime, tbh i think i consider it as P. So from now on i won't watch ecchi again because i want to recover. To be honest i am feeling genuinely happier when i do healthy activites. For some reasons i don't know why but i feel insecure/anxious before playing video games or eating a lot. I should accepet my feelings and do what feels really good for me.


Active Member
Hey man. Good job on your journey. I know what you mean about ecchii and anime... stuff like that turns me on just as much as "porn", sometimes even more.
Can I suggest reading https://flying-eagle-method.org/ when you have an hour and a clear mind? I hope you find it helpful.
Hey man. Good job on your journey. I know what you mean about ecchii and anime... stuff like that turns me on just as much as "porn", sometimes even more.
Can I suggest reading https://flying-eagle-method.org/ when you have an hour and a clear mind? I hope you find it helpful.
Hey ! Thanks for your post ! Yeah when i was younger i used to to watch a lot of ecchi but not fapping to it. Actually i think this is the worst thing, staying aroused for long hours. At the end you have nothing done. I already watched a lot of Easy Peasy Method. And ... it didn't worked for me, i forget too easily why i stopped doing a certain activity.
I read again the method you gave me. I think what is really helpful for me is posting something or talking to someone about it. In fact posting reminds me how awful P is and how i feel like a zombie after doing it. But i think i will take more and more time to post because P isn't life at all. I prefer to focus on my goals
Day 13
Day 15
I am tired of this day, i played video games for a long time. To be honest i don't know what to do of my life, everything looks useless/irelevant. But i still feel like i am on the right path and that my life gets better every day. I had a wet dream last night
Day 16
This morning after my meditation i felt amazing. It's strange to say it but i think i am recovering my mind. I feel like i am healing the connection between my logic brain and my emotionnal brain. I want to do healthier actviities and strive for my dreams. I am getting closer and closer to the best version of me.
Day 17
Pfiou today was really a busy day. And i need nothing to relieve me from my stress :). It feels good. I don't know when i will be able to stop thinking about P and being full recovered. I guess i will keep posting everyday until 90 days then i will consider posting every week. I want to be totally free from every P related thoughts. Hmmm but after all if i know that theses thoughts are unhleathy and that i am genuinely disgusted by it, I think i am already free from P


Hi ChasingMyDreams, I'm liking your posts, congrats! Keep it up!
I started it now to be free from that, I'm a little older and I'm single too. I expect we have a great 2022 after that!!!
Day 19
Thanks for the support :) It means alot for me. Yeahhh 2022 is our year!!
But to earn this year, i guess i have to undergo the flatline that begins today xD. I am feeling so tired and unmotivated for everything. My fronthead is hot too it's weird. I have hope that one day I will stop thinking about P when I see a woman. I didn't expect to make it to the day 19 so easily to be honest. Maybe because there are no reasons to watch P ? :)
DAyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 20 !
I had so much energy this morning it was insane. And yesterday during my meditation it was awesome. But i still did some "mistakes" today. I played video games alot. The problem is that currently i consider video games not as a issue in my life. Somehow i still think that it brings me something. But the truth is that it doesn't. What have I done after that? nothing . What's more i ate too much sugar/glucid at noon. Anyway, if have an issue I will solve it somehow, i will learn from it and i will get closer to the best version of me.
Every addiction doesn't solve problems it numbs only the pain and therefore our life too. Never forget that things will get better somehow
Day 21
Yesterday i was close to go on a site but i didn't do it. I was really tired and had so much stress. I thought "feeling bad isn't a reason to do worse". Today was good, I ate healthy foods and in a good amount, went to the gym, read and i didn't play video games.