Hello my friend. I was also playing games heavily a few years ago. moba style lol, fps style csgo etc. I was feeling the contraction in my brain especially after playing 4-5 games in a row. I saw the post-pmo symptoms after the game as well. Because while playing games, it is necessary to focus seriously for a long time. Dopamine does the job of focusing. Remember, the battle is mainly with dopamine. pmo mediates dopamine. If you leave it and provide dopamine attack with games and malnutrition, your process will be damaged. I hope you can reach your goal my friend. I wish you success.
I failed, i watched P. If i had to find an excuse i would say that i was really tired because yesterday i did so much activities and went to a party late in the night. I knew that exhaust is one of my triggers, so i thought to leave the party earlier and that's what i did but a bit too late. The problem is I didn't want to hurt the party host. Anyway, excuses arent justifications to do it. Although i did it, i am confident. I think, it's certainly the last time i watched P. And even if i do it again there will less chance for me to do it again. I am really proud for making to 22 days. I really improved on alot of aspects in my life since the beginning of the year. I am learning from my mistakes everytime and i am improving everyday. I know that the next time i go to a party i need to be honest and say that i can't stay. I will also be able to tackle exhaust in the future, my daily meditations are really helpful. I know that being tired isn't a reason to be lazy. But my mind would say that it's ok this time or any other excuses.
And here come the perfect comment of Resurrection, thanks for your post. I absolutely agree with you man. I think that P is just one part of the issue of seaking pleasure in everything. In my case playing video games is another big issue, almost as harmful as P does. I just wasn't ready to see it like this. Video games have played a huge role in my life. I played it alot and it could satisfy my desire to grow. I played Lol a lot and i am really addicted to the ranking. But in fact, rank is nothing in real life. On my deathbed, will i really be proud of being the best player in a virtual world? Of course not ... So i guess that from now on i will stop playing video games or watching anime.
I will go only on my laptop if I want to see "healthy" content. I will go on my PC only for work, especially for programming. It's also a good occasion for me to schedule. I will try to organize my days.
Concerning the food, i don't want to put too much restriction on myself at the moment.
Video games: Day 0
Sexual content: Day 0
"But in fact, rank is nothing in real life. On my deathbed, will i really be proud of being the best player in a virtual world? Of course not ... So i guess that from now on i will stop playing video games"
A person who can make such a good self-criticism will definitely do it. congratulations mate. Also, don't worry, quitting video games won't be too hard for you. You won't even call in 1-2 weeks. It's a relatively easy habit to quit. If the urge comes, think of the thousands of stupid players in lol, think of the toxics think of the kids who pissed you off. You will definitely leave it alone. And don't overdo it by saying I've definitely relapsed into pmo. Don't tell me to do 3-4 more sessions. I'm going to start over anyway, don't say that's fine. I made this mistake a lot, my friend. Relapse is a pothole in the road. Doing it again and again until you get stuck will deepen the pit. A 10cm hole is not the same as a 50cm hole. signs of relapse will be less if you don't deepen the pit. today is my first day too. come on dude join in and let's take down that goddamn pmo monster together. us against the beast. think of it like a video game good luck man.
Hey man! Yeah i am leaving nothing by uninstalling Lol. To be honest you may be right to say that it's easy to leave video games. I just need to do more healthy activities with my free time. That's what i did today, i acted for my goals.
I am not saying that relapsing again is fine. Just before yesterday i wasn't hopeful that i could definitely leave for good PMO. Now, i know that i will stop it. I don't know why or how. But i know i will because there are no reasons to do it. Well there could be one reason : i am lying to myself. Today was the beginning of a healthier life. Seaking pleasure in useless activities seems ridiculous.
We will make it, we will reach our goals because we deserve it.
Ty man ! Yeah i think it's very important to stay strong even in our worst days!
This morning i scheduled everything, did some pages on short term and long term activites/goals. I also started to eat healthier foods, i eat almost only raw vegetables.
Are we free or not ?
Well i was stressed with my water leak, i tried several things that didn't work. And i think that stopping video games and eating really healthy reduce a lot my dopamine level. If i could play video games i would have done it. Anyway what i have to do is to schedule more i think, i need to rewire my brain with other activities. That's why i will try to do something for 2 weeks, i will schedule every single minute for these 2 weeks. I won't have to think whether doing something is good or not, i will just have to follow my program. It must be a good exercice because it trains me to follow what i said,i can't be bored since i know what to do and i will act for what is really important for me.
yes, it is really not easy to wage war on many dopamine sources at the same time, to fight on many fronts with a limited army. Although the other fronts are small compared to the p front in terms of difficulty, it is a fact that sending soldiers there is tiring. I'm doing this right now man. I haven't had social media for a long time. The series and the movie are no more. no pmo. I do not overeat. my brain is in a position to treat the tiniest bit of dopamine as if it's seen a diamond When I add my problems in my business and private life, you can't even imagine my current mood, my friend. but lately I am determined and angry enough to declare war on all of them. So somehow I can continue. I understand you very well. Don't let this recurrence bother you too much. It's great to have ideas on what to do. I hope you apply them well. Please don't just keep these things written with the emotional state of relapse. Let them turn into action and turn you, my friend. you can do.
Do not forget that the lower your dopamine level (in fact, it is close to normal. These levels are low because we raise the bar), the more receptors will be activated.
Thank you man . You described so well how i feel. You are totally right by saying that we shouldn't in emotional state of relapse. We can't think that it's ok to indulge in other dopamine sources after indulging in one.
I understand so well your current mood my friend. But it's worth it because at the end we will win the war.
I think i found the best habit/ tool in my life lmao. I don't know why i didn't do it before. Even if i wasn't in my best mood i achieved everything that i set up. And it's so easy to do it. I save so much energy and i can really focus on what i am doing. If I manage to do it for 2 weeks, I will be so proud of me. To be honest i think we can learn so much from addictions. We can see that pleasure isn't fulfilling at all.
Another healthy day I became aware of something: i often need people or something to enter the "dopamine" mode. I mean by that to be focused and a bit stressed, not relaxing. I am too calm when i am alone . We call it arousal in english i think. Now i am aware of it and i can act on it. It's especially very important if i have long day without talking to someone. I need to be engage in what i am doing. What i can do is breathing faster i guess and having a better posture. Or i can do sport too.
I also found myself beginning to eat too much but i managed to stop before really overeating. To be honest it's a big improvement. Peanuts are demoniac.
I have had a lot of urges for P or food today but I tackled it easily. I am just a bit scared that it gets more potent with time. Anyway i will foster healthy activities and focus on becoming the best version of myself.
I did PMO yesterday. Again when i didn't sleep enough. I learned a lot from it. I recognized 2 "voices" when i am beginning to think wether i should do it or not. There is the rational voice who knows that P brings nothing and take a lot from me. But there is also this voice that feels uncomfortable in the present moment, it is scared somehow. And the thing is that i am not listening to the second voice, i think that it is infantile. The truth is that it is just trying to alarm me. That's why i will try to listen to it from now on. The 2 voices should be heard. My feelings and my goals/dreams should work together to create the life I want in the future and in the present. My actions, feelings and values should be harmonized
I did it again yesterday. I am ashamed of doing it again, i was thinking of not posting... But i can't let lie to myself anymore. I know i am happier without P or video games or junk food. Acting for my life feels really better. Why is it so hard to do the right choices ? If i compare how i am feeling after PMO or after a long day of healthy work there are no doubts: I feel like the worst trash on the universe after PMO. We are not guilty for watching it the first times, it's the fault of society. But we are guilty when we keep watching it even when we know how harmful it is for our health.
Clean day, i am reading tips on how to finally stop this destructive behavior. I take notes and i learn. I am eating way too much at the moment but at least i am controlling what i am eating. I will try to adjust the quantity. So i don't have a big amount of food. I will also try to eat slower.
I want deeper connections in my life. But i can't expect other people to do the work for me. I have to open my heart to people first, tell my own truth. I have to show my flaws. I can tell it now, i don't care anymore, i am a P addict. And what i hope is that i don't watch P once again in my life.
Even if i had urges my whole life, i wouldn't want to do it. I deserve my respect. And other people too. Imagine being the woman, watched by thousands of men on earth who don't see her but nothing else than her body. Seeing her as an object. Imagine the fact that she might be here because she couldn't choose. Anyway PMO is really far far far far from what is deep social connection. When we watch P we are alone, we lie to ourselves, we seak pleasure and see others as objects, we are not focused and switch between different videos, we are driven by novelty, we watch unethical content ... Whereas a real connection is with someone, all senses are involved, we make ourselves vulnerable to the other one, we listen and are focused, we sympathize ...
I hope that one day, P is forbidden or that at least there are some preventions.
When factors such as the difficulty of quitting forever, the pains of withdrawal, the neurophysiological part are considered, I think it would be more accurate to say addiction. Breaking up habits usually does not cause serious withdrawal pains. Especially physiological symptoms are not uncommon. I hope you start a new series that will last forever, my friend..