Finally, I'm doing this…
- Thread starter Ezel
- Start date
Recovery Will Come
Active Member
Keep on trucking brother!!!
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 16, no po, no mo (monk mode).
It’s been a long time since I wrote something that describes what I’m going through as I had always done since I started the reboot.
So many things happened that caused this…
The most important ones are the last relapse and the new job I got…
Since the last relapse that happened 2 weeks ago, I would just come into the forum and write how many porn and masturbation-free days I’m at and call it a day…
At that time i didn’t have anything to say really, but looking at it right now, i realized i had a dead libido, it’s scarce when i think about sex or porn or masturbation. It’s like my sexual feelings are gone or I’m numbed out
That’s a common thing all rebooters experience as they go through the reboot, we just have to get through it.
The second thing is the new job I got. I was without a job since the first reboot that lasted 100 days no po no mo, so probably 4 or 5 months of no Trabajo as they say…
And we all know what boredom and doing nothing can do to your reboot. Actually, the setback I had after 100 days was because of boredom and wasting time scrolling through youtube, and the rest is history…
But now after these 16 days of being porn free and putting my priorities in order and excluding porn from it, i feel pretty good. Even though I would come home tired and have a bit of stress that doesn't allow me to do much, so I would just get a proper meal and chat to family members and finally go to sleep like a baby…
One of the things that are improving right now is the quality of sleep I've been getting since I had the job. I still remember when I couldn't sleep till 3 or 4 am in the morning but now I would just put my head on the pillow and sleep immediately…
And about porn thoughts and urges I still get them but not as frequently as they used to be, even if i had them i would just ignore them. Even the beautiful women at my job don’t affect me with their beauty. I don’t know if this is a bad thing or a good thing, maybe like I said before it’s because I have a dead libido, so there you go…
I hope after this new start I will go porn free and never look back, the conditions my life is in right now will allow me to do that. I just have to stay busy and do meaningful things and eventually, everything would fall into place…
And not to forget the cherry on the top, the support I'm getting from all the great men in this awesome community, @Blondie @Phineas 808 @cookiemonster @TryingHarder @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 @particularly_respecting @downhillfromhere @Recovery Will Come . I thank you guys so much, your support is a grace.
Stay safe fellas, no way back.
Peace.
Ezel.
It’s been a long time since I wrote something that describes what I’m going through as I had always done since I started the reboot.
So many things happened that caused this…
The most important ones are the last relapse and the new job I got…
Since the last relapse that happened 2 weeks ago, I would just come into the forum and write how many porn and masturbation-free days I’m at and call it a day…
At that time i didn’t have anything to say really, but looking at it right now, i realized i had a dead libido, it’s scarce when i think about sex or porn or masturbation. It’s like my sexual feelings are gone or I’m numbed out
That’s a common thing all rebooters experience as they go through the reboot, we just have to get through it.
The second thing is the new job I got. I was without a job since the first reboot that lasted 100 days no po no mo, so probably 4 or 5 months of no Trabajo as they say…
And we all know what boredom and doing nothing can do to your reboot. Actually, the setback I had after 100 days was because of boredom and wasting time scrolling through youtube, and the rest is history…
But now after these 16 days of being porn free and putting my priorities in order and excluding porn from it, i feel pretty good. Even though I would come home tired and have a bit of stress that doesn't allow me to do much, so I would just get a proper meal and chat to family members and finally go to sleep like a baby…
One of the things that are improving right now is the quality of sleep I've been getting since I had the job. I still remember when I couldn't sleep till 3 or 4 am in the morning but now I would just put my head on the pillow and sleep immediately…
And about porn thoughts and urges I still get them but not as frequently as they used to be, even if i had them i would just ignore them. Even the beautiful women at my job don’t affect me with their beauty. I don’t know if this is a bad thing or a good thing, maybe like I said before it’s because I have a dead libido, so there you go…
I hope after this new start I will go porn free and never look back, the conditions my life is in right now will allow me to do that. I just have to stay busy and do meaningful things and eventually, everything would fall into place…
And not to forget the cherry on the top, the support I'm getting from all the great men in this awesome community, @Blondie @Phineas 808 @cookiemonster @TryingHarder @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 @particularly_respecting @downhillfromhere @Recovery Will Come . I thank you guys so much, your support is a grace.
Stay safe fellas, no way back.
Peace.
Ezel.
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
This is so great to hear, Ezel. Sounds like you're making great progress!
You're right that there's a huge difference between not working and having a job to go to, certainly feel like that's a huge part of why I'm getting through this myself.
Just the act of going outside (considering you don't work from home) contributes to that. Waking up the same time every day. Getting a bit of sun, meeting people and talking to them, physical work is even better because it naturally gets rid of the stress that is keeping you up at night.
And hey, the libido/flatline thing... I'm right there with you. I feel so numb now, after giving up all possible replacements for porn. There's just... nothing now. And I think that means that the brain is in the process of turning back to normal. Just give it time.
You're right that there's a huge difference between not working and having a job to go to, certainly feel like that's a huge part of why I'm getting through this myself.
Just the act of going outside (considering you don't work from home) contributes to that. Waking up the same time every day. Getting a bit of sun, meeting people and talking to them, physical work is even better because it naturally gets rid of the stress that is keeping you up at night.
And hey, the libido/flatline thing... I'm right there with you. I feel so numb now, after giving up all possible replacements for porn. There's just... nothing now. And I think that means that the brain is in the process of turning back to normal. Just give it time.
downhillfromhere for your support, this phase shall pass, like you said I just have to give it time...
Blondie
Respected Member
Great job Ezel.
Yes, staying busy making money is a great thing when you're trying to fix bad habits. Just keeping busy in general is a good safeguard against the boredom that often leads back to the trap of leviathan.
It's nice seeing a long post from you again and I'm glad life is going well for you brother.
As far as the dead libido goes, just embrace it! It's your brain fixing itself, and that should put a smile on your face.
Best my friend
Blondie
Yes, staying busy making money is a great thing when you're trying to fix bad habits. Just keeping busy in general is a good safeguard against the boredom that often leads back to the trap of leviathan.
It's nice seeing a long post from you again and I'm glad life is going well for you brother.
As far as the dead libido goes, just embrace it! It's your brain fixing itself, and that should put a smile on your face.
Best my friend
Blondie
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11
Well-Known Member
Keep going man. Proud of you!!
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
Amen, brother!
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 17, no po, no mo (monk mode).
Just an hour ago i disabled the youtube app on my phone. In fact, I spent yesterday looking online how to uninstall it but since it is a system app it can not be deleted from the phone.
How crazy is that…
At this point in my life I consider Youtube a threat, not only to my reboot but how I spend my day, it takes a large part of my day just scrolling and watching unuseful videos that don’t benefit me at all. wasting precious time on it that could be used doing meaningful and beneficial things.
After searching and searching I finally found how to disable it. Which is kind of frustrating since I wanted it to be completely removed from my phone, but it can’t be done since it’s a system app.
So i had to settle by just disabling it, and another crazy thing is i get to enable it through google play store whenever i want, and i hope i will not do that. I kind of made it hard for me to do it because by disabling it, it no longer shows up on the app list.
Like they say out of sight, out of mind…
Which brings me to porn, with time of no longer consuming the damn thing and staying away from porn subs, it slowly kind of starts to fade from your brain.
Although I still get glimpses of past porn scenes, since I just got back from porn land 17 days ago. But in my case I just have to give it time and help my brain unwire by not consuming any kind of porn subs. And I think now that youtube is no longer on my phone will be a huge advantage for me against going back where i just came from 2 weeks ago.
Another good thing I noticed this morning when I woke up was the morning wood. It was so hard it lasted a minute before it went back to its normal status.
That was an unexpected progress for me, I thought it would take at least a month before I start to get hard erections. Which shows that the 100 days of no pmo wasn’t completely wasted.
So I'm so grateful for it, my body and brain didn’t throw all the work I had done down the toilet.
I’m still going monk mode, I'm handling it like a boss since my libido is on life support right now which kind of helps. I don't have to look at triggering content or check women out on the street or at work, even if I do I feel nothing.
But i know this is just a matter of time, before the libido comes back with all the sexual thoughts and feelings. This is where it will start to be challenging. I guess that will be in the third month of the reboot, when I will start to get horny as hell, just like the last time when I lost control of my horniness and watched youtube videos and the rest is history…
Sorry I just got lost in that current of thought, the important thing right now is take it one step at a time and live the moment. Instead of getting ahead of myself and thinking 3 months into the future where I don't even know if I will get to live till then.
So let’s just take one day at a time and focus on the present. I hope the best for all of you out there. Focus on yourself, put in the work, and remember not only to talk the talk but most importantly is to walk the walk.
Stay away from porn and its subs, no looking back.
Peace.
Ezel.
Just an hour ago i disabled the youtube app on my phone. In fact, I spent yesterday looking online how to uninstall it but since it is a system app it can not be deleted from the phone.
How crazy is that…
At this point in my life I consider Youtube a threat, not only to my reboot but how I spend my day, it takes a large part of my day just scrolling and watching unuseful videos that don’t benefit me at all. wasting precious time on it that could be used doing meaningful and beneficial things.
After searching and searching I finally found how to disable it. Which is kind of frustrating since I wanted it to be completely removed from my phone, but it can’t be done since it’s a system app.
So i had to settle by just disabling it, and another crazy thing is i get to enable it through google play store whenever i want, and i hope i will not do that. I kind of made it hard for me to do it because by disabling it, it no longer shows up on the app list.
Like they say out of sight, out of mind…
Which brings me to porn, with time of no longer consuming the damn thing and staying away from porn subs, it slowly kind of starts to fade from your brain.
Although I still get glimpses of past porn scenes, since I just got back from porn land 17 days ago. But in my case I just have to give it time and help my brain unwire by not consuming any kind of porn subs. And I think now that youtube is no longer on my phone will be a huge advantage for me against going back where i just came from 2 weeks ago.
Another good thing I noticed this morning when I woke up was the morning wood. It was so hard it lasted a minute before it went back to its normal status.
That was an unexpected progress for me, I thought it would take at least a month before I start to get hard erections. Which shows that the 100 days of no pmo wasn’t completely wasted.
So I'm so grateful for it, my body and brain didn’t throw all the work I had done down the toilet.
I’m still going monk mode, I'm handling it like a boss since my libido is on life support right now which kind of helps. I don't have to look at triggering content or check women out on the street or at work, even if I do I feel nothing.
But i know this is just a matter of time, before the libido comes back with all the sexual thoughts and feelings. This is where it will start to be challenging. I guess that will be in the third month of the reboot, when I will start to get horny as hell, just like the last time when I lost control of my horniness and watched youtube videos and the rest is history…
Sorry I just got lost in that current of thought, the important thing right now is take it one step at a time and live the moment. Instead of getting ahead of myself and thinking 3 months into the future where I don't even know if I will get to live till then.
So let’s just take one day at a time and focus on the present. I hope the best for all of you out there. Focus on yourself, put in the work, and remember not only to talk the talk but most importantly is to walk the walk.
Stay away from porn and its subs, no looking back.
Peace.
Ezel.
Blondie
Respected Member
Nice job Ezel moving YouTube off your phone, or rather disabling it. I agree, if it's causing problems, no reason to play with fire. Fires are for burning boats, and not the other way around!
No reason to apologize, this is your journal. It's healthy and good to write out your thoughts and feelings on these things, because it helps you in the end.
Keep it up brother, I love reading them.
Best.
No reason to apologize, this is your journal. It's healthy and good to write out your thoughts and feelings on these things, because it helps you in the end.
Keep it up brother, I love reading them.
Best.
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
Great job, Ezel. You're making the right moves all the way, man.
Exactly. No time away from porn is ever wasted, especially the lengthier and lengthier our streaks can be, the better off we will be.
Good job, Ezel!
particularly_respecting
Active Member
Great progress getting to day 18 Ezel. Good message for all of us above too
Keep on burning those boats and going all in. I'm rooting for you brother!
Ezel
Respected Member
Day 20, no po, no mo (monk mode).
So far so good, urges are still there, but they don’t affect that much. I just ignore them or let them fade away on their own like I always do…
It’s my third day of no youtube on my phone, but to be honest I can access it on my laptop.
But the difference between the two, on my laptop I only use it for work-related stuff, like searching for a tutorial about something or looking for information about a particular subject…
And as soon as I find what I'm looking for I get out…
Unlike youtube on my phone, where as soon as I open the app I will end up binge-watching for hours. And you know how it ended the last time I relapsed…
I hope all the best for you out there, and stay away from porn, especially its subs. Cuz they are the first step down the ladder of porn.
One last thing I would like to thank my man @Phineas 808 for all his contribution and assistance he gave me. You will surely be missed. I hope we will see you around.
Peace.
Ezel.
So far so good, urges are still there, but they don’t affect that much. I just ignore them or let them fade away on their own like I always do…
It’s my third day of no youtube on my phone, but to be honest I can access it on my laptop.
But the difference between the two, on my laptop I only use it for work-related stuff, like searching for a tutorial about something or looking for information about a particular subject…
And as soon as I find what I'm looking for I get out…
Unlike youtube on my phone, where as soon as I open the app I will end up binge-watching for hours. And you know how it ended the last time I relapsed…
I hope all the best for you out there, and stay away from porn, especially its subs. Cuz they are the first step down the ladder of porn.
One last thing I would like to thank my man @Phineas 808 for all his contribution and assistance he gave me. You will surely be missed. I hope we will see you around.
Peace.
Ezel.
TryingHarder
Well-Known Member
Keep burnin' those boats, Ezel! 