20 Something Reboot

ADFECTATIO

ADFECTATIO

Member
Do you actively work on improving your concentration? It's not a muscle, but you can train it like one.
It also helps to reduce your mental clutter - focus on the few valuable things. Try to spend more time in a deep work state (see Cal Newport, Deep Work).
Improving your concentration needs deliberate practise.

If your concentration is really low and you don't know where to start, try reading an interesting, but demanding book as fast as you can without losing focus - set a timer for 20 min. Try to concentrate the whole time, short brake, another 20. A few days later you can go higher with the focused time - 20, 30, 40, 50 min. Good luck and have fun with it!

Did you look into the mental athlete stuff? Maybe have a look at this homepage: https://artofmemory.com/training/
 
SmokenMirrors

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
ADFECTATIO said:
Do you actively work on improving your concentration? It's not a muscle, but you can train it like one.
It also helps to reduce your mental clutter - focus on the few valuable things. Try to spend more time in a deep work state (see Cal Newport, Deep Work).
Improving your concentration needs deliberate practise.

If your concentration is really low and you don't know where to start, try reading an interesting, but demanding book as fast as you can without losing focus - set a timer for 20 min. Try to concentrate the whole time, short brake, another 20. A few days later you can go higher with the focused time - 20, 30, 40, 50 min. Good luck and have fun with it!

Did you look into the mental athlete stuff? Maybe have a look at this homepage: https://artofmemory.com/training/
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Solid advice! Thank you! I haven't had a look at the other recommendation yet, I'll check this one out too. Thank you!
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
SmokenMirrors said:
Day 131 - Same as yesterday, nearly had another wet dream but woke up to stop myself just before it got messy!
Day 16 of no MO
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@SmokenMirrors I'm gonna hit you with another Q&A session haha

1. On a scale of 1-10, how hard were urges to deal with your first 30 days vs. day 90 vs. today? Is Day 90 vs. today about the same or is it easier today?

2. What were your replacement activities for P to pump in some healthy dopamine?

3. Have you used dating apps at all post-90 days? Does it feel healthy or do you feel like it's activating those P circuits?

Keep crushing it man!!
 
SmokenMirrors

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
First_step_thousand_miles said:
@SmokenMirrors I'm gonna hit you with another Q&A session haha

1. On a scale of 1-10, how hard were urges to deal with your first 30 days vs. day 90 vs. today? Is Day 90 vs. today about the same or is it easier today?

2. What were your replacement activities for P to pump in some healthy dopamine?

3. Have you used dating apps at all post-90 days? Does it feel healthy or do you feel like it's activating those P circuits?

Keep crushing it man!!
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1. Day 90 was easier tbh! I think I may have regressed slightly with the addition of MO to my life. That's in the process of being fixed however
2. Working on life goals (as soon as I had the motivation to pursue them). I am aiming to socialise more with friends as well since I've always been insular and crap at socialising so I am to improve it!
3. Not at all, in my humble opinion dating apps are so toxic and relentlessly existentially damaging. It is definitely not healthy! Plus, yes I believe it would strengthen P circuits
Thank you for the questions man!
 
First_step_thousand_miles

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
SmokenMirrors said:
1. Day 90 was easier tbh! I think I may have regressed slightly with the addition of MO to my life. That's in the process of being fixed however
2. Working on life goals (as soon as I had the motivation to pursue them). I am aiming to socialise more with friends as well since I've always been insular and crap at socialising so I am to improve it!
3. Not at all, in my humble opinion dating apps are so toxic and relentlessly existentially damaging. It is definitely not healthy! Plus, yes I believe it would strengthen P circuits
Thank you for the questions man!
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Love the perspective. Dating apps are tough because at this point, more than 1 in 2 couples meet from apps vs. everything else. So it's really hard to not be on them. Totally agree that they are toxic because they just commoditize people -- don't like 1 minor thing about someone? Swipe left on em and move on because there's a million more fish in the sea (when in reality virtually none meet anyone's perfect definition)

That said, I will probably use them almost due to lack of choice in some respect living in 2022. But definitely not until 100 days, maybe not even for a fair bit longer than that. Gotta be careful as you say that it doesn't strengthen the P circuits, that's always a danger
 
ADFECTATIO

ADFECTATIO

Member
Hm, I would be very careful with the dating apps. There are some parts in them, that are definitly p*. Like a lot of girls have erotic pictures up there, you got novelty, the thrill - it is as well a supernormal stimulus.

Also I think a lot of girls are on there just for the attention they get. They just goofy around.

In my opinion I got better things to do with my time. And I am sure you do, too.
I get it, you would like to meet girls - but why don't you try going out and talking to stranger girls on your night out or on your commute? Just start small, with saying "Hi" to more girls, then start going up to them - and thats your win.

When I talk to a girl, I already won: My goal is to have the balls to go up to her. Thats all. And then I try to have a fun time. You can only win with this. And maybe you will meet a nice girl, where the vibes are clicking. Then I would not go for the number in the first place, try to have a litte instant date or set a date for the next day.
And if she rejects you, it`s fine. Don`t be needy or creepy. Have fun with it!
 
SmokenMirrors

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
First_step_thousand_miles said:
Love the perspective. Dating apps are tough because at this point, more than 1 in 2 couples meet from apps vs. everything else. So it's really hard to not be on them. Totally agree that they are toxic because they just commoditize people -- don't like 1 minor thing about someone? Swipe left on em and move on because there's a million more fish in the sea (when in reality virtually none meet anyone's perfect definition)

That said, I will probably use them almost due to lack of choice in some respect living in 2022. But definitely not until 100 days, maybe not even for a fair bit longer than that. Gotta be careful as you say that it doesn't strengthen the P circuits, that's always a danger
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I'd avoid them forever personally! There's nothing but toxicity waiting for you on those apps!
 
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