20 Something Reboot

Love it man, are the cravings easier to crush now vs. your first month or so? That's probably the key metric, as long as it gets easier and easier over time on average you come out stronger and stronger
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
You got this Smoken Mirrors. Think of how far you've come. And remember, if push comes to shove, getting off is not the same as looking at porn. It's easy in moments like this to think in black in white, i.e. if you happen to do one, you have to do the other.

You got this man.
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
You got this Smoken Mirrors. Think of how far you've come. And remember, if push comes to shove, getting off is not the same as looking at porn. It's easy in moments like this to think in black in white, i.e. if you happen to do one, you have to do the other.

You got this man.
Cheers bro! Bed time I think haha
 
Great stuff. Couple questions for you:

1. Are the P cravings easier to deal with now vs. the 1st month for you?

2. What triggers the P cravings these days? Is there a real trigger or does it come out of nowhere?

3. Is the range of girls you find attractive in real life wider than pre-reboot?

4. Finally -- at what point / month did you stop hyper-sexualizing girls you see (i.e. see a hot girl on the street and immediately imagine what it would be like to smash her) vs. noticing them more healthily as people who success in this reboot say? I think people say things like noticing her smile first vs. noticing assets first etc happens which is just more sustainable. It is kind of driving me crazy walking outside and seeing so many attractive girls like this
 
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ADFECTATIO

Member
Hei a few days ago you wrote about concentration problems.

Have you ever tried training your concentration? Google the "loci method" and "major system" - these are ancient tools the romans used to learn their speeches by heart. These methods are also used by mental athletes (see "moonwalking with einstein" for a little introduction). These methods have been really hard to learn for me and still today its exhausting. It feels very draining - but they are super tools to sharpen your mind. I dont know what you are doing - also studying? Maybe not - You can use these methods for learning stuff you are interested about or you can try to memorise a deck of cards for fun. This is really easy, because you can prepare your routes and images for the cards in advance. Or with the major system its quiete easy to learn phone numbers by heart (a little party trick I use when I want to get a girls number :D).

Maybe you give it a try and dont give up - in the beginning it seems super hard. But you have to really concentrate to do these methods and while learning them, your concentration will definetly get better.

Wish you all the best!
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Great stuff. Couple questions for you:

1. Are the P cravings easier to deal with now vs. the 1st month for you?

2. What triggers the P cravings these days? Is there a real trigger or does it come out of nowhere?

3. Is the range of girls you find attractive in real life wider than pre-reboot?

4. Finally -- at what point / month did you stop hyper-sexualizing girls you see (i.e. see a hot girl on the street and immediately imagine what it would be like to smash her) vs. noticing them more healthily as people who success in this reboot say? I think people say things like noticing her smile first vs. noticing assets first etc happens which is just more sustainable. It is kind of driving me crazy walking outside and seeing so many attractive girls like this
I appreciate the questions! It's great to discuss things like this, especially since there is no real guide to overcoming porn addiction!
1. P cravings are much easier to deal with for two reasons. One, I have had a taste of a porn free life for some time now and I am very happy with the benefits, therefore caving in would be catastrophic to my life. Secondly, I am over 100 days in now. There is no fast way to tally up days, you simply have to wait and keep busy. I have already lost far too much time to porn, I will not give it another second! If I caved tonight, to get back to where I am now on the tally, it would take me over 3 months!
2. Could be both or either. I've noticed it tends to be when I have a mental dip, when I'm doing mentally well my mind is bulletproof and I have no urges at all, but life can grind down the mental state as we all know; when that happens, the cravings set in. When I'm not at my mental best, my mind could simply jump to lusting after sex or get triggered by a girl in a low cut top, or simply an attractive lady walking past! There are a vast multitude of triggers, too many to write down, but the short answer is I could trigger by anything at any point when my mental state is weak!
3. Absolutely. I've always been attracted to women but the reasons I'm attracted to them have diversified. I am now attracted to a scent, smile, sense of humour, and a million other things!
4. Honestly, I've never really hyper-sexualised girls. I have always cared about women and have known that they are individuals with personalities and insecurities just like the rest of us. I don't think porn has ever really damaged my outlook on women. Have I looked at a woman and wanted to have sex with her? Yes, a lot of times, but that has always been more of a primal urge than a porn urge. Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions!
 
I appreciate the questions! It's great to discuss things like this, especially since there is no real guide to overcoming porn addiction!
1. P cravings are much easier to deal with for two reasons. One, I have had a taste of a porn free life for some time now and I am very happy with the benefits, therefore caving in would be catastrophic to my life. Secondly, I am over 100 days in now. There is no fast way to tally up days, you simply have to wait and keep busy. I have already lost far too much time to porn, I will not give it another second! If I caved tonight, to get back to where I am now on the tally, it would take me over 3 months!
2. Could be both or either. I've noticed it tends to be when I have a mental dip, when I'm doing mentally well my mind is bulletproof and I have no urges at all, but life can grind down the mental state as we all know; when that happens, the cravings set in. When I'm not at my mental best, my mind could simply jump to lusting after sex or get triggered by a girl in a low cut top, or simply an attractive lady walking past! There are a vast multitude of triggers, too many to write down, but the short answer is I could trigger by anything at any point when my mental state is weak!
3. Absolutely. I've always been attracted to women but the reasons I'm attracted to them have diversified. I am now attracted to a scent, smile, sense of humour, and a million other things!
4. Honestly, I've never really hyper-sexualised girls. I have always cared about women and have known that they are individuals with personalities and insecurities just like the rest of us. I don't think porn has ever really damaged my outlook on women. Have I looked at a woman and wanted to have sex with her? Yes, a lot of times, but that has always been more of a primal urge than a porn urge. Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions!
Great stuff man. Like your #1 answer a lot and #3 makes me quite hopeful -- P really has made me desensitized to girls who are below an 8 (in conventional U.S. beauty standards), but have heard many others echo what you have. Remember reading a success story that a guy literally said that the girl he was with was not particularly attractive and a little bloated but the man downstairs was quite excited.

On #2, a little concerned there as that's such an easy trigger (the girl with the low cut top), unless you're already getting consistent sex. Can see the flip side to that argument though that it also makes you more likely to approach with is good. Guess the hard thing might be knowing P is 'there' while the girl might not be receptive to your approach....but that's been how all our ancestors have done it for millennia (or arranged marriages and such of course) so just gotta get used to that haha
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Hei a few days ago you wrote about concentration problems.

Have you ever tried training your concentration? Google the "loci method" and "major system" - these are ancient tools the romans used to learn their speeches by heart. These methods are also used by mental athletes (see "moonwalking with einstein" for a little introduction). These methods have been really hard to learn for me and still today its exhausting. It feels very draining - but they are super tools to sharpen your mind. I dont know what you are doing - also studying? Maybe not - You can use these methods for learning stuff you are interested about or you can try to memorise a deck of cards for fun. This is really easy, because you can prepare your routes and images for the cards in advance. Or with the major system its quiete easy to learn phone numbers by heart (a little party trick I use when I want to get a girls number :D).

Maybe you give it a try and dont give up - in the beginning it seems super hard. But you have to really concentrate to do these methods and while learning them, your concentration will definetly get better.

Wish you all the best!
Thank you for that man! Ill definitely look into it!
 

ADFECTATIO

Member
Man I really enjoied reading your journal for the last days!

And I also have a question for you:
How do you react, when you are triggerd? Do you write in a journal - do you take cold showers or does the method even depend on the kind of trigger?

I really liked you answers above! Especially the one with the 3 months! Man - I think knowing how great life without P. feels is the most motivating thing!

Kepp it rocking :)
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Man I really enjoied reading your journal for the last days!

And I also have a question for you:
How do you react, when you are triggerd? Do you write in a journal - do you take cold showers or does the method even depend on the kind of trigger?

I really liked you answers above! Especially the one with the 3 months! Man - I think knowing how great life without P. feels is the most motivating thing!

Kepp it rocking :)
I've used the cold shower technique a few times! In general I just sort of cope with it and it disappears on it's own, that will change from case to case though!
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Day 115 - Feeling decent! I think the flatline is disappearing. I feel like MOs are thwarting my progress, I need to reel them in. I tend to limit myself to only MOing when I struggle to sleep but I think the better option is to lose a few hours of sleep, at least for the foreseeable
 

ADFECTATIO

Member
Hei SmokenMirrors,

have you tried reading when you can't sleep? Sounds like a stupid advice, but if you focus really hard on the book and try to read fast, you might get tired and after time lay the book aside and fall asleep peacyfully.
Also you didn't lose the time, you invested it in yourself with reading good stuff.

If you want to get more nerdy, you can also do some ANKI Cards - thats what I do sometimes :D But I read that studying to fall asleep is not the best idea, because you might train yourself to connect studying with getting tired and going to bed :D

You will find a way for good sleep!
Oh and if you have a regular sleeping pattern helps really good as well!

best regards
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Hei SmokenMirrors,

have you tried reading when you can't sleep? Sounds like a stupid advice, but if you focus really hard on the book and try to read fast, you might get tired and after time lay the book aside and fall asleep peacyfully.
Also you didn't lose the time, you invested it in yourself with reading good stuff.

If you want to get more nerdy, you can also do some ANKI Cards - thats what I do sometimes :D But I read that studying to fall asleep is not the best idea, because you might train yourself to connect studying with getting tired and going to bed :D

You will find a way for good sleep!
Oh and if you have a regular sleeping pattern helps really good as well!

best regards
The problem I have is the light wakes me up and makes it hard to sleep! Could maybe invest in a bedside lamp and see ifthats any better
 

Recovery Will Come

Active Member
Nice!!!! Keep going!!! I’m on day 32 myself and actually have a question.. I took a shower yesterday and I grabbed my thing to clean it and coincidentally had a porn flashback at that exact time… Is that a setback in your reboot? Or is it just my brain trying to negotiate with me to relapse.. My anxiety would relax if so lol
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Nice!!!! Keep going!!! I’m on day 32 myself and actually have a question.. I took a shower yesterday and I grabbed my thing to clean it and coincidentally had a porn flashback at that exact time… Is that a setback in your reboot? Or is it just my brain trying to negotiate with me to relapse.. My anxiety would relax if so lol
Not a setback! Just ensure that whenever porn images enter your mind you distract yourself and think of other things
 
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