Hey
@SmokenMirrors, good to hear from you brother.
Yes this is the age old perennial problem, that is, what to do with relationships that don't respect your time and boundaries? Of course, the quickest solution is to let her go and be done with it, that is, kick her out the door and move on. A woman (or anyone for that matter), who does not respect your time or important commitments should be extricated out of your life, period.
There's always another woman, but you only get one life in this life, so neglecting your mission to appease relationships that are not conducive to you mission is generally a waste of time. However, if you really care about this girl, or think maybe she does care about you too but is not getting the message, then you should think long and hard about this matter. On one hand, it might be more "manly" just to move on and be done with it, but on the other, it could be more masculine to learn how to deal with these situations in real time, with women and just life in general. Trust me, none of this will ever end. You will always be tested and put in a place where you need to stand up for yourself and assert yourself, no matter how great of a relationship you might have with a woman or life in general. As they say,
the journey never ends.
I feel very lucky that the lady I'm with has from day one respected my time and goals, and trust me that's a big deal for me, because I'm very independent and daily need my space for thinking, reading and doing "my thing" etc. However, that being said, there has been moments in this relationship where I've become lazy either in myself or in my boundaries with her, and before I know it, I've been "domesticated" without even being cognizant of it in the moment, and then what do I do, I blame it on HER of course! And its easy to do this, because once you've allowed YOURSELF to become complacent in your goals and mission, you've allowed HER as well to become complacent in the boundaries of your relationship, and thus, when you reaffirm your commitments,
you should absolutely expect you're going to get some resistance, especially at first, and how could it be any other way? You've "trained" her to expect this from you, and now you're trying to change the dynamics of the relationship.
So the real question to ask yourself is this,
has your girl from day one respected you and your time and mission? My lady from day one always has, minus the ups and downs we've had over the years, and yes, some of that is on me as I just mentioned. This is probably the number one reason I'm still with her to this day. Respect means everything to me. However, if this girl of yours hasn't really done that from the beginning, then you probably have your answer, and it's time to move on. Nevertheless,
if she has respected you, but now you find yourself wearing an apron and singing kumbaya having forgotten your entire mission in this life, than you might need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself,
is this really her or me that is the problem here?
A woman, no matter how good of a woman she might be, is the very reflection of yourself and the man you are projecting to the outside world.
Her putting up some resistance might be the very thing you need to grow in your masculinity, or, it might be the sign to kick her out the door and move on. However, only you know the answer to that question.
Best King
Blondie
