20 Something Reboot

First_step_thousand_miles

Respected Member
Appreciate the checkup message king! Not too bad, still trying to regain the discipline and work ethic that I lost after the tonsillitis ruined my daily structure. Grateful for the hard work however! How are you and the boys doing?
I'm sure you'll get back into the swing of things man. Life isn't perfect and sometimes we miss a beat here and there but the key is to have hope for the future and get back up and resume. Something can always stop you temporarily but NOTHING can stop you for more than that. Keep crushing it my dude
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
I definitely need to sleep better, I think it's holding me back for sure. I've spoke to the lady I'm seeing and we're gonna see each other less so I can concentrate whole heartedly on myself and my business (and my sleep)

Also, happy 6 months of no MO! (Im a bit late but it will do)

Keep fighting the good fight gentlemen!

Day 127 meditation
Day 126 cold shower
Day 186 no MO
Day 586 no porn
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
How's everything going brother? Life going well?

Keeping up the good fight I see, incredible that you've made it 190 days without masturbating and almost 600 days no porn. Keep it up man, it's inspiring to see!
Going well man! My brain is struggling to adjust to sex, the dopamine is a bit much sometimes, but I'm still fighting the good fight! How are you king?

Day 142 meditation
Day 141 cold shower
Day 201 no MO
Day 601 no porn
 

First_step_thousand_miles

Respected Member
Going well man! My brain is struggling to adjust to sex, the dopamine is a bit much sometimes, but I'm still fighting the good fight! How are you king?

Day 142 meditation
Day 141 cold shower
Day 201 no MO
Day 601 no porn
That's awesome man, great to hear you're back in action. I'm a few weeks into no MO and trying to hit 6 months no MO (or at least 3 months no MO before getting back out there) so it's been quite a journey. Otherwise trying to keep up the good fight as well. Just working out, meditating, hanging out with friends...trying to put all these pieces of my life together I guess haha
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Bonjour gentlemen, apologies for going on the missing list
Ive been struggling recently, life has been very 'meh'. Im still taking cold showers but the meditation has fell off, I think a lot of the problems come from the lady I'm seeing. I find that I'm a much better man (focused, driven, disciplined etc) when I'm single, she is at my house for more than half the week and won't accept boundaries I set (I told her I only want to see her 2-3 times a week so I can focus on my goals and growth, this has happened twice now)

I'm unsure of what to do, ultimately I have to choose myself first over others, I learnt that lesson a while ago when I destroyed myself trying to appease others. Any advice, kings?

Day 167 meditation (would be)
Day 166 cold shower
Day 226 no MO
Day 626 no porn
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Bonjour gentlemen, apologies for going on the missing list
Ive been struggling recently, life has been very 'meh'. Im still taking cold showers but the meditation has fell off, I think a lot of the problems come from the lady I'm seeing. I find that I'm a much better man (focused, driven, disciplined etc) when I'm single, she is at my house for more than half the week and won't accept boundaries I set (I told her I only want to see her 2-3 times a week so I can focus on my goals and growth, this has happened twice now)

I'm unsure of what to do, ultimately I have to choose myself first over others, I learnt that lesson a while ago when I destroyed myself trying to appease others. Any advice, kings?

Day 167 meditation (would be)
Day 166 cold shower
Day 226 no MO
Day 626 no porn
Maybe there are ways she could be present without distracting you from doing what you need to do. Can you set up a desk for her?
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey @SmokenMirrors, good to hear from you brother.

Yes this is the age old perennial problem, that is, what to do with relationships that don't respect your time and boundaries? Of course, the quickest solution is to let her go and be done with it, that is, kick her out the door and move on. A woman (or anyone for that matter), who does not respect your time or important commitments should be extricated out of your life, period. There's always another woman, but you only get one life in this life, so neglecting your mission to appease relationships that are not conducive to you mission is generally a waste of time. However, if you really care about this girl, or think maybe she does care about you too but is not getting the message, then you should think long and hard about this matter. On one hand, it might be more "manly" just to move on and be done with it, but on the other, it could be more masculine to learn how to deal with these situations in real time, with women and just life in general. Trust me, none of this will ever end. You will always be tested and put in a place where you need to stand up for yourself and assert yourself, no matter how great of a relationship you might have with a woman or life in general. As they say, the journey never ends.

I feel very lucky that the lady I'm with has from day one respected my time and goals, and trust me that's a big deal for me, because I'm very independent and daily need my space for thinking, reading and doing "my thing" etc. However, that being said, there has been moments in this relationship where I've become lazy either in myself or in my boundaries with her, and before I know it, I've been "domesticated" without even being cognizant of it in the moment, and then what do I do, I blame it on HER of course! And its easy to do this, because once you've allowed YOURSELF to become complacent in your goals and mission, you've allowed HER as well to become complacent in the boundaries of your relationship, and thus, when you reaffirm your commitments, you should absolutely expect you're going to get some resistance, especially at first, and how could it be any other way? You've "trained" her to expect this from you, and now you're trying to change the dynamics of the relationship.

So the real question to ask yourself is this, has your girl from day one respected you and your time and mission? My lady from day one always has, minus the ups and downs we've had over the years, and yes, some of that is on me as I just mentioned. This is probably the number one reason I'm still with her to this day. Respect means everything to me. However, if this girl of yours hasn't really done that from the beginning, then you probably have your answer, and it's time to move on. Nevertheless, if she has respected you, but now you find yourself wearing an apron and singing kumbaya having forgotten your entire mission in this life, than you might need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this really her or me that is the problem here?

A woman, no matter how good of a woman she might be, is the very reflection of yourself and the man you are projecting to the outside world. Her putting up some resistance might be the very thing you need to grow in your masculinity, or, it might be the sign to kick her out the door and move on. However, only you know the answer to that question.

Best King

Blondie
 
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SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Hey @SmokenMirrors, good to hear from you brother.

Yes this is the age old perennial problem, that is, what to do with relationships that don't respect your time and boundaries? Of course, the quickest solution is to let her go and be done with it, that is, kick her out the door and move on. A woman (or anyone for that matter), who does not respect your time or important commitments should be extricated out of your life, period. There's always another woman, but you only get one life in this life, so neglecting your mission to appease relationships that are not conducive to you mission is generally a waste of time. However, if you really care about this girl, or think maybe she does care about you too but is not getting the message, then you should think long and hard about this matter. On one hand, it might be more "manly" just to move on and be done with it, but on the other, it could be more masculine to learn how to deal with these situations in real time, with women and just life in general. Trust me, none of this will ever end. You will always be tested and put in a place where you need to stand up for yourself and assert yourself, no matter how great of a relationship you might have with a woman or life in general. As they say, the journey never ends.

I feel very lucky that the lady I'm with has from day one respected my time and goals, and trust me that's a big deal for me, because I'm very independent and daily need my space for thinking, reading and doing "my thing" etc. However, that being said, there has been moments in this relationship where I've become lazy either in myself or in my boundaries with her, and before I know it, I've been "domesticated" without even being cognizant of it in the moment, and then what do I do, I blame it on HER of course! And its easy to do this, because once you've allowed YOURSELF to become complacent in your goals and mission, you've allowed HER as well to become complacent in the boundaries of your relationship, and thus, when you reaffirm your commitments, you should absolutely expect you're going to get some resistance, especially at first, and how could it be any other way? You've "trained" her to expect this from you, and now you're trying to change the dynamics of the relationship.

So the real question to ask yourself is this, has your girl from day one respected you and your time and mission? My lady from day one always has, minus the ups and downs we've had over the years, and yes, some of that is on me as I just mentioned. This is probably the number one reason I'm still with her to this day. Respect means everything to me. However, if this girl of yours hasn't really done that from the beginning, then you probably have your answer, and it's time to move on. Nevertheless, if she has respected you, but now you find yourself wearing an apron and singing kumbaya having forgotten your entire mission in this life, than you might need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this really her or me that is the problem here?

A woman, no matter how good of a woman she might be, is the very reflection of yourself and the man you are projecting to the outside world. Her putting up some resistance might be the very thing you need to grow in your masculinity, or, it might be the sign to kick her out the door and move on. However, only you know the answer to that question.

Best King

Blondie
Thank you for this, king. Male to female relationships are so complicated. It's a catch 22, the things that made her like me are also the things that shes suppressing (the discipline, ambition etc). However, I am the man. I believe its a mans responsibility to take charge and be held accountable for everything in his life. Time for me to die by the sword. Thanks king
 

First_step_thousand_miles

Respected Member
Thank you for this, king. Male to female relationships are so complicated. It's a catch 22, the things that made her like me are also the things that shes suppressing (the discipline, ambition etc). However, I am the man. I believe its a mans responsibility to take charge and be held accountable for everything in his life. Time for me to die by the sword. Thanks king
Love the commitment brother! I don't have great advice but make sure you are not derailed from your goals -- she might be there in 10yrs or she might not be, but you'll be there in 10yrs....so take care of that first. Doesn't mean you can't do both but I would just suggest finding a balance that you're comfortable with
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Hello again gentlemen! Apologies for disappearing again, I've very much missed our little community we have here. How is everyone doing? It's been great to see you all still fighting the good fight, I am very grateful to know true kings like you all. Special shoutout to @achilles heel for having his longest streak in a very long time

Big love, kings

Day 270 no MO
Day 670 no porn
 

First_step_thousand_miles

Respected Member
Doing pretty well man, continuing to grind on goals as always. I was gonna say, you should make a list of your goals for 2024 and post them here -- and then check at the end of the year to see how you've stacked up. I posted my 2023 goals early this year, going to do an update reflective post on everything later this month. Really helps in holding yourself accountable, just a suggestion

You are crushing it with the no MO man! How are you things going with that lady you were seeing? How about the workouts, still hitting the gym hard?
 
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