Crawling from the wreckage

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Day 654 (no PMO)

Day 139 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


My brain: Oh, you're upset about something, hey? Okay, I know you're not looking at porn anymore. But why don't you look at some porn substitutes? Or think some sexy thoughts? You know you want to. It feels good! Yeah, that's what you should do. Think some porn-y thoughts. Yeah! Do it! Hey! Hey, are you listening?

Me: [silence]

:cool:
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Day 664 (no PMO)

Day 149 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


I MO'ed a couple of times last week. Not great, but not bad, either. Whether it was healthy libido or my misguided mind going for the wrong solution to problems, I don't know. :cautious:

In just over a month's time, I will be 2 years clean of PMO. Looking forward to celebrating that day.
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Day 687 (no PMO)

Day 172 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


Thanks @Dangermouse. Not really much to report these days, other than the passage of time and feeling like the porn addiction was a long time ago (even though it's still less than 2 years).

I'm still having sexual thoughts and urges to MO, but continue to remind myself that there's a time and place for sexual thoughts. Unless there's some healthy cause and effect, I'm saying no to MO and realizing that these thoughts and urges are still being spurred by depression, stress, or other bad vibes. There are better ways to cope.

No relapses, no retreat!
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Day 719 (no PMO)

Day 181 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


Hmmm... Seems like I miscalculated my days without PMO. According to my very first post, April 18 2024 will be the 2 year mark for me, so I have recalculated. :cool:

More or less the same update as last time: reminding myself that there's a time and a place for sexual thoughts, and random sexual thoughts are really depression and anxiety in disguise. On the one hand, I'm making progress for recognizing this and shutting unwanted sexual thoughts down. On the other hand, I lament that it's taking my warped mind so long to reset.
 
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TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Day 722 (no PMO)

Day 184 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


I'm closing in on my two year anniversary of quitting porn. I certainly feel a sense of satisfaction, but also feeling rather apathetic about the milestone. It's going to be an occasion I largely have to keep to myself.
 

Percival

Active Member
Day 722 (no PMO)

Day 184 (no looking at porn or porn substitutes)


I'm closing in on my two year anniversary of quitting porn. I certainly feel a sense of satisfaction, but also feeling rather apathetic about the milestone. It's going to be an occasion I largely have to keep to myself.
It's discouraging that doing the right thing doesn't generate as much good feeling as doing the wrong thing generates guilt feelings, but it's how humans are. It's still a strong accomplishment!
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I certainly feel a sense of satisfaction, but also feeling rather apathetic about the milestone. It's going to be an occasion I largely have to keep to myself.

This is the rub, and something we have to get used to (especially those of us who don't have that support). We have to be okay with, and expect that, we hit our milestones or successes without that 'pat on the back' from our spouses.

No parade will be held in our honor (particularly for doing what ought to be done anyway). But for us its important and wholly worthwhile to find a way to celebrate it- even if alone.

Smoke that cigar, treat yourself out to a movie or your favorite restaurant, buy that thing you've been wanting, you deserve it.
 
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