The crazy thing is you're right, fundamentally both side just want a happy relationship and yet why is it so hard to find a suitable LT match? I think it's just expectations, the formula Happiness = Reality - Expectations really does hold true
I like this. I think it is the false expectations that fuck many of us up. Either from porn for us dudes, or for women, being able to see in the media or even get with a high class man (for a night) but then have to be "stuck" with a normie in marriage for the rest of her life is not a good recipe for success. False expectations can destroy us.
Asking girls what they find attractive in a guy I've learned is a 100% exercise in futility. They will deny to the death that good looks is the #1 filtering criteria, though I don't really understand why? Jason Momoa and Chris Hemsworth slay for a reason like you say.
I think the reason for this, at least evolutionary speaking, is that women throughout history have always been dependent on the ingroup for survival, and thus, any lesser man hitting on them, would need to be handled with tact (aka white lies) so as not to harm her or her offspring. Violence (especially sexual violence) for women is always a present threat, and even more so in ancient times, thus, women have learned to do whatever is needed to keep the "harmony" of the ingroup, and if truth be damned so be it. We can see this today with loser men and Nice Guys getting extremely hostile, or worse, violent, when turned down by a woman. They will call her a slut, a bitch or worse, because they didn't get what THEY wanted from her, and thus solidifying (if it wasn't alreadly obvious) where they stand in the hierarchy of men. Us men might not like it, and yes, some women go too far with it, but it DOES make sense from their perspective.
You're 100% right here, the girls I've talked to with a good personality are primarily 5s. I'm sure there are 6s and 7s as such and I just haven't talked to them, but at least with the limited exposure I've had to 8s and 9s in friend groups here and there, I've never really observed one that I could imagine being married to for the next 50 years. Which I guess makes sense given they don't need to have great personalities
I don't think I made myself clear here. I wasn't saying that only 5s can only have good personalities, but rather, using that as an analogy for average men (5s and 6s) pretending to be something that they're not (9s or 10s). I can see now I didn't make that clear though. For example, no matter how much self-improvement an average man makes (a man with average height, an average face and build) even IF he gets jacked he's going to come across to women like he's trying too hard IF he thinks and acts like somehow he is now Jason Momoa or something. He simply doesn't have the face, nor the height, and definitely NOT the status of a high flying man (no matter what some asswad online sold him). Thus also, a woman who is a 5 in looks (even if she's in good shape), if she acts like her shit doesn't stink it's fucking annoying as hell to us men, because we all know it's not true and that no matter how "nice" she might be, and no matter what her "female friends" say on FB
)), she is still utterly average and not a model. That's all I was saying. I would rather be with a
humble (or realistic) 5 or 6 who takes care of herself and is sweet and plesant to talk to, than a 5 or 6, who has no personality, acts like she's a model, and denies any man who doesn't have the looks or status of Chris Hemsworth. Talk about delusional! That shit is insane, and unfortunately, I think much of the self-improvement craze that many men buy into these days, often comes across to women the same way as a 5 acting like she's a model to us men, because it comes across as fake and too try hard. Yes self-improvement is very important, and yes maximizing your looks and whatnot will help you out, but only to an extent, and at the end of the day, every man (and woman) has to deal with the hand they've been dealt. Those who handle this truth with beauty and grace (no matter their actually looks) are beautiful to me, and those who get jealous, nasty and try-hard, are very unappealing. Things to think about.
As regards to your thoughts that only 5s or 6s can have "good personalities" I totally disagree, though I do know what you're getting at. I've known many "hot" women who were beautiful both inside and out, my Lady included. Sure, they know their options are sky-high (how could they not?), and yes some of them are bitchy as hell, but many of them are not at all. And of course, referring back to my first paragraph, why do so many beautiful women have their "bitch shields" up? It's because of all the asshole and "Nice Guys" who have treated them like shit throughout their lives when they got "rejected," thus, they go out into the world closed off and "hostile" to men. What is more, some of the most beautiful women (not hot) often don't even get talked to by men, because they're seen as completely "other" and on top of the hierarchy of beauty, and as they say, it's lonely being on top. Of course, it must kind of suck to be in that place, and I honestly mean this, because unlike someone who's had to work their ass off to get somewhere in their career, or a 5 or 6 who's spent years in the gym trying to get "noticed" by men (think of normal dudes), they literally just won the genetic lottery and didn't really have to do anything besides just be naturally beautiful. I say this because, although I'm not a 10, probably a 7 (I hate rating myself!), I've see first hand what my height (6'4) does to many women (they've told me), and although many men might say
Fuck you Blondie, are you really complaining about being tall, hear me out on this. Although I would be lying to say I haven't "liked" what my height has given me in regards to attracting (some) women over the years, still there is this part of me that almost resents it, because
I didn't do anything to get this "advantage" and it was just random genetic luck (no one in my family is even close to my height). Thus, in my past dating life, I've had many moments (especially at the beginning stages) when I thought,
do you even like me for ME, or is this just some fucking evolutionary bullshit your female brain is feeding you? Thus, being a "10" female with both a perfect body and face that was just handed to you, I can imagine must feel almost insulting when people (especially men) treat you differently even though you're just as human as they are. Thus, both my height and being between the "average" joe and the really "hot" man has given me a sense of empathy and perspective, and I can see (especially for a woman) that being on the top without really any effort on their part, could be a lonely experience, even if it has many so called "benefits." But I digress! Back to my point. In my own experience, it's the 6s and 7s who are
sometimes the most "bitchy" of women, because they still have to work at it, whereas the real top shelf beauties just are,
and every women knows this. Have you ever been in a room when a truly beautiful woman (not just hot) walks in? Every women is in awe along with the men, and the best ones will admit this and the bitchy ones will cut her down out of jealously.
Women are even more in awe of female beauty and noticed it more than us men, though admitting this is another matter.
Thus, I think it's good for us men to put ourselves into a woman's shoes and see how it feels to be them for a change, either the utter hotty or the average girl. It's so easy for us to think of them as "other" instead of just seeing them as humans like us, with flaws, jealousies, and insecurities, even the "perfect" 10s. And I think a guy such as yourself who is out looking for a girl would most definitely benefit from doing this, maybe even more than getting "ripped", because the first step in being good with women is learning how to empathize with them and see the world from their perspective.
Just some random thoughts.
Keep killing it!
