Numb Inside

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Last night I was in a high-level panic mode and fear was gripping every part of who I am. My wife is out of town for three days because of work and I'll be home, alone - well, our dog will be with me, and last night I was terrified. In the past, when my wife has been out of town for a day or two it was so easy to give in to the lonely urge and spend several hours in a PMO session. Now my wife is gone for three days and last night I was panicking. However, this morning when I woke up I felt a sense of peace about today. I can work through tomorrow when it gets here. I have done enough homework (I'm still doing the homework) to get me through today. I'm posting here and on one other site for accountability and encouragement. I have identified the three most important reasons of why I don't want to relapse: my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my wife, and my relationship with myself. I've got 24 days behind me and only six more days before I hit my 30-day goal. Through my daily devotions, I am learning that I am more important than anything PMO can bring me. PMO was a death spiral and I am choosing to live. Today, I have things planned out to keep me busy. The old tapes in my head are saying, "Just stay home and in bed. Don't go outside. Blah. Blah. Blah. I am making a concerted effort to NOT listen to the old tapes but instead re-wire my brain to new and exciting things that life can bring.

Day 24 - 7/19/2022 | By the Grace of God
You have said the 2 most important words regarding reboot: "KEEP BUSY"!
 
Day 1 down with only two more to go. Yesterday I re-focused my attention on my daily devotions, posting here, checking in with my AP, running errands, doing dishes, taking out the trash, and working on some new photography skills. Even though 'fear' popped up its ugly head a couple of times throughout the day, I noticed the more I focus on other things the fear was less and less. Today I am going to have to be a little more creative with my time. I don't have as many things to do today to fill up my time. I will make it work, though. Today will be a good day.

Here's an additional note... when I began this recovery journey I would mull over in my head how awful I was, how ashamed, angry, lonely, guilty, and embarrassed I was. I would run the tapes in my head over and over again which just brought on, even more, fear and anxiety. Over the past couple of days, I have been changing the way I do things. Instead of ruminating about all the negative things in my life, when a thought comes into my head I am now saying out loud, "I do not accept that feeling of ___________. Instead, today, I am filled with peace and contentment. As I speak this new truth out loud and hear it, my confidence for the day grows little by little. It's the small steps, one at a time, that begin a journey.

Today is Day 25 of Zero PMO. Five more days to go and I'll reach the big 30 challenge. By the Grace of God...
 
Day 3 of my wife being out of town for work. She comes home tonight. YEAH!!!!

Today has been a little crazy for me. My dog woke me up at 5:30 am to tell me he needed to go outside and take care of some business. For most people that wouldn't be a problem, for me it is. I don't do mornings and I deal with chronic fatigue. So this early morning adventure has put a bit of a damper on my day. Then went to an eye doc appt and they dilated my eyes. I was hoping to get outside to take some pictures at a local park but I can't see a thing. lol

Last night went well without much distraction. I'm very thankful for that. When going to bed I quoted Isaiah 41:10 over and over in my head and that really helped. I also took time to pray for my APs as we walk this journey together. This afternoon will be full of posting, journaling, and jumping into my daily devotion. I will also listen to more lessons on my ReMojo app.

Day 26 - 7/21/2022 | By the Grace of God
 
Last night my wife came home from her business trip and she brought with her a Wendy's chocolate frosty for me. How cool is that? See what I did there, frosty and cool. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: That's my deflection for the day because I'm actually feeling very frustrated, lonely, discouraged, and angry at myself. First of all, NO I did not fall off the wagon and look at any porn. Yeah, good for me. When my wife got home we were able to sit down and talk about how her business trip went and the new farmhouse that we are building. We had a good conversation. However, when I went to bed, I felt very discouraged and alone - those were my triggers for the night. You see, I wanted my wife to acknowledge what a great job I did for not engaging in any type of pmo over the past three days. I also wanted her to tell me what a great job I did holding down the fort while she was gone. Wow! Talk about an unrealistic expectation... she doesn't even know that I'm on Day 27 of no PMO but yet, in some magical way I'm expecting her to say, "Great job!" I really needed to focus on her last night. She was tired and sore from standing all day. So now I have to realize that I was projecting incorrect expectations on my wife and then deal with the anger I have towards myself for being so selfish in my thinking.

I could really use some encouragement today, guys.

Day 27 - 7/22/2022 | By the Grace of God
 
Two more days to go until I reach Day 30.
How cool is that?

You know, today on Day 28, it just occurred to me that giving up porn isn't so much about giving up porn as it is taking care of the underlying issues: my triggers. Don't get me wrong. Me, I hate porn with everything I have and I hated what it was doing to me mentally, physically, and spiritually. However, porn was the escape I used when I refused to deal with the actual issues that were happening at the time. Porn was the problem on the surface. I personally need to deal with the underlying problems. When I was lonely, I would get my phone out. When I was angry, I would get my phone out. When I was bitter or resentful at someone, I would get my phone out. The feeling or emotion had to happen first before the action of getting out my phone took place. And I was terrible at dealing with my feelings or emotions.

One of the all-consuming feelings I have had for quite a long time is Fear. My AP (who is AWESOME by the way) has helped me to identify the fact that the fear I have been experiencing is because of the various feelings/emotions I have kept hidden for so long and not dealt with. I've been so afraid to deal with how to handle these important feelings. Dealing with these feelings, I believe, is a key component of gaining recovery over PMO.

At this moment in time, this instance, this second, for me, I believe giving up porn is easy. I'm not trying to be cocky or disrespectful in any way shape or form when I say that. Let me explain. If I refocus my attention away from the porn over to what the actual root of the problem is, then, for me, the desire to watch porn becomes less and less every day. What I do think is difficult is changing my attitudes, behaviors, and the way I think or feel when certain situations happen to me. As I told my AP the other day, "I have lived in such a porn-induced coma for so long that I have lost sight of what true freedom looks and feels like.

Here's how I would visualize the vicious cycle I've been in for more than 4 decades.

Feeling guilty, shameful, embarrassed, having a lack of confidence, being depressed, and anxious -- all because of porn.
Porn was the action I took because I wanted to gain some sense of escape from anger, loneliness, bitterness, and resentment.

Here's to the journey of working on my feelings and emotions for a healthier me. I deserve this and it's so important for me to see victory here.

Day 28 - 7/23/2022 | By the Grace of God
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Remember that all addictions have very strong reality distortion abilities:
1. To make itself more attractive than all the rest (by delivering huge feelgood in short time and effort)
2. To make all the rest worse than it is by negativity (and thus create greater addiction dependancy)
3. To make it unworthwhile to work on improving the rest (why bother when addiction delivers so much so quickly)

When we are addicted, we are UNDER ITS INFLUENCES.

>>> Recovery is release from distortion <<<


If we are more optimistic, grateful, effortful, realistic, grounded and not comparing, reality is generally not as bad as it seems.
 

Sammyjo

Active Member
Last night my wife came home from her business trip and she brought with her a Wendy's chocolate frosty for me. How cool is that? See what I did there, frosty and cool. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: That's my deflection for the day because I'm actually feeling very frustrated, lonely, discouraged, and angry at myself. First of all, NO I did not fall off the wagon and look at any porn. Yeah, good for me. When my wife got home we were able to sit down and talk about how her business trip went and the new farmhouse that we are building. We had a good conversation. However, when I went to bed, I felt very discouraged and alone - those were my triggers for the night. You see, I wanted my wife to acknowledge what a great job I did for not engaging in any type of pmo over the past three days. I also wanted her to tell me what a great job I did holding down the fort while she was gone. Wow! Talk about an unrealistic expectation... she doesn't even know that I'm on Day 27 of no PMO but yet, in some magical way I'm expecting her to say, "Great job!" I really needed to focus on her last night. She was tired and sore from standing all day. So now I have to realize that I was projecting incorrect expectations on my wife and then deal with the anger I have towards myself for being so selfish in my thinking.

I could really use some encouragement today, guys.

Day 27 - 7/22/2022 | By the Grace of God
I applaud you how far you you've come, more over, for realizing your selfish thinking. Truly that is a big deal! Maybe consider sharing that with her...the whole story. I think it really shows your commitment as well as the fact that your being introspective which is so important in both recovery and healing.

I also applaud your cool and frosty pun:LOL:
 

SimonM

Active Member
Not giving in to PMO when you're frustrated shows some real strength. Keep it up - good things will come! ... and... you CANNOT quit porn needing someone else's kudos to make it happen - in my experience. We can only succeed when we are committed to doing it for ourselves - no matter what the world or our partner throws at us. Otherwise we just ultimately find an excuse to give in because of some external factor.
 
Not giving in to PMO when you're frustrated shows some real strength. Keep it up - good things will come! ... and... you CANNOT quit porn needing someone else's kudos to make it happen - in my experience. We can only succeed when we are committed to doing it for ourselves - no matter what the world or our partner throws at us. Otherwise we just ultimately find an excuse to give in because of some external factor.
SimonM-
Thanks for the encouragement and the truth about how we cannot quit porn by needing someone else's kudos. I completely agree with you on that point. I go into this mess and I am the one that has to make the determination to get out of it. I am taking the necessary steps to recover from a 35-40 year PMO addiction. However, it is always nice to get a pat on the back, a high-five, or even a really solid fist bump to let me know I'm doing well. So, I look to the men here on ReBoot and on YourBrainRebalance, along with a fantastic AP that I have for those little bits of encouragement. I think it's okay to take a multi-level approach to recovery and bring in as much healthy support as possible. Thanks again.
 
I DID IT! I GOT TO DAY 30 WITH ZERO PMO!

Oh, and what a day that was. lol.

So, last May and June, I was under an incredibly high level of stress and as a result of that, I went on a PMO binge for about a week. There were multiple things happening in my world that were coming from all different directions and my brain was getting overloaded. The only thing I knew to do at the time was binge on porn. I thought I could get some type of relief from PMO. I felt like I went into a PMO-induced coma for a week. However, it was at that time that I began to realize just how badly I was treating myself and how it was also affecting my family and friends - my relationships. That's when I decided to stop PMO.

Then, on Day 30, the day I wanted to celebrate a milestone in my recovery, I found it so ironic, that when I woke up and barely got through the first half of my cup of coffee, I was being hit with another episode of high-level stress. I felt like God was saying, "Okay, you have already experienced some extreme stress a month ago, things didn't turn out too well. However, you've been on your recovery journey for 30 days now and learned a lot. Let's see how you do this time."

This time around, when I realized what was happening, I just had to sit back and let out a little chuckle. That's right. I laughed at what was going on. Please keep in mind that I was still under the weight of this stress that was causing my brain to explode on the inside, but I laughed. The stress put me in bed for a day and a half from pure exhaustion but, I DID NOT GIVE INTO ANY FORM OF PMO! I got through the challenge and most of the problems that were causing the stress began to just work themselves out.

Here's what worked for me...

A. First, and foremost, I had already created a Vision Plan that made up the foundation for my recovery and there are three parts to it:
1. My relationship with Christ is more important than porn
2. My relationship with my wife is more important than porn
3. My relationship with myself is more important than porn
B. I began reading and learning about my porn addiction and how it affected me mentally, physically, and spiritually.
C. I began journaling and answering the Action Step questions on ReMojo.
D. I was able to connect with an incredible Accountability Partner with which we have a lot of similarities in regards to our recovery.
E. One of the most important things I began to notice is:
1. Because I didn't deal with anger, loneliness, boredom, bitterness, and resentment in a healthy and responsible manner, I fell into the death-spiral trap of porn.
2. When I gave into porn I felt guilty, shameful, and embarrassed, I was less confident, and dealt with depression and high levels of anxiety.

So, now that I'm 30 days out (actually, today when I'm writing this, I'm on Day 32), what is life like for me? I have less brain fog and I have clearer thoughts. I can look my wife in the eyes when having a conversation with her without feeling or being ashamed. I have been able to get out of the house more often to work on my part-time photography business. I feel more confident and that I am a little bit stronger to deal with life's hick-ups when they come my way. I've been able to look around me and be mindful of all that is happening around me, and enjoy it as much as I possibly can for the moment. I have been able to consistently read God's word and have my daily devotions. I'm learning a lot about myself through the devotions I read.

My next goal is to get to Day 60 with Zero PMO. I will still continue to implement the strategies I mentioned above and possibly add some more. Looking at my calendar for the next couple of months, there are a lot of activities on it that could cause me a lot of stress. I'm going to do my best to deal with the stress item in a healthy manner and as much as I can, take a step back and take a break, realize everything will be okay, and if possible, just laugh.

Day 32 - 7/27/2022 | By the Grace of God
 
I'd like to share something I've learned from a study on Isaiah 41:10 that I'm doing. This verse says, "Fear not, I am with you, be not troubled, I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I'd like to focus on the last part of the verse, "...I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Jack Wellman writes this about the right hand, "...the right hand is symbolic of ruler-ship, authority, sovereignty, blessing, and strength." The mental picture I get when thinking about the "right hand" is when we greet one another, we shake with our right hands. When we close a business deal, we usually shake each other's right hand. Usually, when we shake hands, we look each other in the eyes. When we look each other in the eyes we convey a sense of confidence, respect, and agreement. In our current pandemic state of mind, we might switch up the hand-shake with a fist bump. Nonetheless, we are using an action with our right hand to support the other person.

So, how do I/we apply that to this forum and support each other on our recovery journey? First, I intentionally, and purposefully, grab ahold of, I cling to, I grasp the right hand of God for His strength and help. I can't do this without Christ in my life. Secondly, I symbolically extend my right hand to whoever would like to take it within this group. Many of you have already reached out to support me with kind words of encouragement and I'd like to do the same.

Day 33 - 7/28/2022 Zero PMO | By the Grace of God
 
Okay - I need some help. I currently have the ReMojo app on my phone and I've been going through several of the lessons they have so I can better understand my PMO addiction. Today's lesson is a really hard one for me and I'd some encouragement on either side of this issue.

Today's lesson focused on telling my wife of my addiction and I am severely scared out of my pants to do this. Right now we are in the midst of a full-blown kitchen & dining room remodel so we can sell our house in a couple of months. We are also getting new carpet for 4 rooms in the house. To top it off, we are building a brand new house out on a family farm. My wife works full time and I stay home, because I'm on Social Security Disability, and try my best to take care of all the contractors, start packing for the move, figure out what goes in the garage sale, is thrown out, or going to Goodwill. We are both stressed to the max.

I feel the need to tell my wife because I want to stop living a lie. I'm really tired of waking up every morning, looking her in the eyes to tell her to have a good day at work but we can't talk about this problem I have. Also, know that over the past 10 years I've been in and our of doctor's offices, counseling offices, and hospitals for various mental and physical problems. I finally feel like we are getting to a much better place in our relationship in spite of all the stressors mentioned above.

I AM SCARED to tell her and I AM SCARED to keep it a secret.

My biggest fears are:
I'm afraid to tell my wife that I've relapsed​
I'm afraid of what it will do to our already stressed-out relationship. How much more stress will that put on my wife?​
I'm afraid of the questions she will ask and whether or not I would be able to answer them in a way that will encourage more communication between us.​
I'm afraid that she might think that since I relapsed then I will do it again and again down the road.​
I'm afraid she will think I do not value her or our marriage​
I'm afraid that if I tell her then there will absolutely no chance of ever being intimate again.​
I'm afraid that somehow our two boys will find out and they will think I'm some weird sex-crazed old man sitting in the corner binging on porn every chance I get.​
I'm afraid of what friends and family will say if they ever find out.​
I'm afraid of all the triggers/feelings that could come back to the surface and possibly cause me to relapse again.​
So, yes, I'M SCARED!

I'm open to thoughts and ideas. Just please be as kind as you can if you respond. This is a highly sensitive topic that I am trying to navigate.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Day 40 - Zero PMO | By the Grace of God
 

SimonM

Active Member
I just went through some thoughts on that myself in my journal... I haven't told my wife - though she is aware of my struggles in the past. I dread the same things you do. I think recovery IS strongest if we can confide in our partner. But it can also be very damaging to bring them into this and maybe it's not always the best decision - IF we are doing the right things.

One alternative might be to tell someone ELSE instead. For a while my counselor was my accountability partner and that really helped. Maybe there's someone else you can help you navigate this and help you stay on the straight and narrow too?
 
I just went through some thoughts on that myself in my journal... I haven't told my wife - though she is aware of my struggles in the past. I dread the same things you do. I think recovery IS strongest if we can confide in our partner. But it can also be very damaging to bring them into this and maybe it's not always the best decision - IF we are doing the right things.

One alternative might be to tell someone ELSE instead. For a while my counselor was my accountability partner and that really helped. Maybe there's someone else you can help you navigate this and help you stay on the straight and narrow too?
SimonM - question for you. So since your wife is aware of your struggle, does she ever ask you any questions about how you are doing? Do the two of you ever have any conversations about 'the struggle'? If yes, then what is that like for the two of you?

I have a really good Accountability Partner and we email almost daily. So, I'm very thankful for him and his wisdom and encouragement.

Thank you again for sharing your experiences with your wife. I really appreciate it.
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
As many that are on now and have been on here in the past, I am a proponent of telling wives. I am not a proponent of every single detail being revealed on what was watched. The reason I have this opinion is that discovery is far worse. Finding pictures from magazines that must be favorites. Knowing that even though we were apart but saw each other every weekend that he did the magazine thing. The secrecy. The finding out it went on for years and I knew something was off. We were more like room mates. The loss of great sex. The discovery was worse. Use the time moving to plan a way you can tell her. You are right this is not the time. If you are still seeing a counselor have them help you plan. Good luck! You can do this!
 
As many that are on now and have been on here in the past, I am a proponent of telling wives. I am not a proponent of every single detail being revealed on what was watched. The reason I have this opinion is that discovery is far worse. Finding pictures from magazines that must be favorites. Knowing that even though we were apart but saw each other every weekend that he did the magazine thing. The secrecy. The finding out it went on for years and I knew something was off. We were more like room mates. The loss of great sex. The discovery was worse. Use the time moving to plan a way you can tell her. You are right this is not the time. If you are still seeing a counselor have them help you plan. Good luck! You can do this!
Gracie- thanks for your thoughts on this matter. I will definitely take your kind words into consideration. A couple of the things I have to think about is how much stress we are currently under with our current home being remodeled so we can move in the fall along with building a brand new house an hour and a half away from where we currently live. We will be taking our son to college in a couple of weeks to that adds to the "journey". Things are slowly getting better with my wife and me and, obviously, I'm hoping it continues in this direction. I completely agree with you that having my wife find out versus me telling her can be very hurtful. So, my question to you is, in the midst of all the stress we are currently experiencing, would you want your husband to tell you about his p addiction, find out on your own, or just keep moving forward as things keep getting better? Which is the lesser 'evil' of the three options? I'm wondering if there is a stigma of 'needing to tell you're significant other" and I do think it's important. However, I also think, for me, I need to take into account all of the things that are happening in my life, and our lives combined, and refrain from telling her. Perhaps, down the road, when the dust settles down and our relationship has a better foundation I might tell her. But for now, I think it best for me to continue with my recovery plan, build a better relationship with my wife, and get ready to move.

Again, I appreciate your feedback and thoughts behind it.
 

joepanic

Well-Known Member
[email protected] To tell a partner(in this case "wife" ) or not to tell. Such a big question around here. And many passionate views for sure. Having read your journal I would say my opinion is not to at this time. And I make this opinion on many facts and thoughts

1 Gracey mentioned it is far worse for one to find out. This i believe can never be proven as for each couple it can only be one or the other. What point of reference can be used if the possibility of one outcome can never be realized, If you tell her, there is no way to know her reaction would be worse if she found out on her own because that because the possibility of her finding out on her own can never happen. I could never base a decision on such a comcept

2 You mentioned many fears and many of them are quite valid Stress is a marriage killer if you and your wife are already stressed I don't see adding to that stress is going to help. I say this because you also mention that your marriage was improving. perhaps your doing something right (rebooting perhaps) and your wife is seeing some positive change in you. Why not stay the course? You seem to be on the right track , if the system is starting to work build on that.

3 Some will say "Your living a lie" or you mighty say the same thing about yourself. if your fighting this and slowly winning it and eventually you do win it , are you still living a lie? I would say you "used to live a lie" but you no longer are.

4 Stress stress stress. Is now the right time to add to that stress you and your wife might be going through. it's possible you might totally break her by bringing this up now. People under stress might take things harder than when they are not under stress. You can always make a decision to bring it up when you are both in a far better place mentally and emotionally.

5 And this is based more on who I am and my own experiences. Man up!! I don't 100% know your whole story. You may or may not have brought this on yourself, but it is on you to fix it and it looks like you have taken those 1st steps. I grew up understanding that if you create a problem than own that problem and fix it. To me it will make you a much stronger man in the end and I am sure that is what your wife wants anyway. Although this is 2022 and not all women want a strong man Some are too liberated for that.

Post often it helps me it helps you
 
[email protected] To tell a partner(in this case "wife" ) or not to tell. Such a big question around here. And many passionate views for sure. Having read your journal I would say my opinion is not to at this time. And I make this opinion on many facts and thoughts

1 Gracey mentioned it is far worse for one to find out. This i believe can never be proven as for each couple it can only be one or the other. What point of reference can be used if the possibility of one outcome can never be realized, If you tell her, there is no way to know her reaction would be worse if she found out on her own because that because the possibility of her finding out on her own can never happen. I could never base a decision on such a comcept

2 You mentioned many fears and many of them are quite valid Stress is a marriage killer if you and your wife are already stressed I don't see adding to that stress is going to help. I say this because you also mention that your marriage was improving. perhaps your doing something right (rebooting perhaps) and your wife is seeing some positive change in you. Why not stay the course? You seem to be on the right track , if the system is starting to work build on that.

3 Some will say "Your living a lie" or you mighty say the same thing about yourself. if your fighting this and slowly winning it and eventually you do win it , are you still living a lie? I would say you "used to live a lie" but you no longer are.

4 Stress stress stress. Is now the right time to add to that stress you and your wife might be going through. it's possible you might totally break her by bringing this up now. People under stress might take things harder than when they are not under stress. You can always make a decision to bring it up when you are both in a far better place mentally and emotionally.

5 And this is based more on who I am and my own experiences. Man up!! I don't 100% know your whole story. You may or may not have brought this on yourself, but it is on you to fix it and it looks like you have taken those 1st steps. I grew up understanding that if you create a problem than own that problem and fix it. To me it will make you a much stronger man in the end and I am sure that is what your wife wants anyway. Although this is 2022 and not all women want a strong man Some are too liberated for that.

Post often it helps me it helps you
Joepanic-

And this is why I post things here on RebootNation... I really think your response to both my fears and Gracie's comments are so important and relevant for me in my situation and I greatly appreciate what you have shared.

I think the most important thing that really stood out to me was the following statement, "I would say you "used to live a lie" but you no longer are." This is so true and I have never stopped to think about it that way. I am no longer a slave to porn - I am no longer living a double-sided hidden lifestyle that is, and was, and will always be a lie. You are correct. I """""used"""" to live a lie. Your statement free's me up from the mental overload I had so Thank You for that incite.
 
So, let me just share that the process works, guys. It really does. If you stick to a plan that you personalize to your own struggle and recovery, be consistent, and stay on the mark, it works.

Case in point. for several years my wife and I have not been intimate in any way shape or form. Unfortunately, we sleep in separate bedrooms at the moment. The last few times we were intimate I had experienced a lot of pain down in my groin area. I went to a specialist and he said it was because of some of the medications I'm currently on. Since I couldn't be intimate with my wife, along with other stress-related things happening at the time, I gave into porn. I remember thinking I'll never have a chance to experience intimacy with my wife so why not just throw in the towel?

Once I relapsed, I lost sight of who I was and how beautiful my wife was and is. We became more like roommates raising two teenage boys. Since I quit PMO, I'm on Day 43, my wife and I have begun to hold hands while taking walks, we joke with each other more, and we have started to give each other those impromptu kisses now and again. Even this past week, she has come into my bedroom to tell me good night and give me a kiss good night. I can't tell you what this does for me mentally as a man. My man-ego (lol, I just made that one up) is sky-rocketing and I'm getting back more self-confidence.

Yesterday we were in our local Menard's picking out things for our kitchen remodel. We started joking around with each other and somehow, in our conversation, I asked jokingly, "So, do you think we will ever be at a place to fool around again?" She had a smile on her face and said, "Yeah, I think that's possible." I replied back, "I think I'll take that possible opportunity and run with it." We both laughed a little, took each other's hands, and squeezed a little tighter as we walked down the aisle.

I think the spark is being re-ignited with my wife and I'm really excited to see where it takes us from here.

Just to re-cap... yes, quitting PMO and the process that goes with it does work.

Day 43 - 8/7/2022 | By the Grace of God
 
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