Starting this battle

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Moore0

Member
Day 95

this phase of this journey is called sexual frustrations , for well over a week I’ve had a ridiculous high sex drive and my girlfriend isn’t near , our schedules have made it incredibly hard to spend time together and all I Wana do is have sex lol. So I don’t get to have sex as much as I want , barely reduced to maybe once every 2 weeks or 3 with an also incredibly high libido. I want to pleasure myself to help but I also know that when I start it might lead me down to a rabbit hole of probably consuming porn again . So today day 95 I’m caught in between what to do to consistently get intimacy when I desire or touch myself and pace it gradually. Like I said the only thing that stopped me from doing this is already when i remember this streak and wether it would count as a win if I touch myself without consuming porn. I guess I’ll figure it someday
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Your libido can adjust over time, so you're ready to go when the occasion arises, and yet not constantly horny...if you can get through the adjustment period. Exercise is your friend in the meantime.
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
Congrats on trhee months!! It is impressive how you are kicking this addiction out.
Hopefully I will get there too!

Are you taking steps to have real healthy sex? It seems like a good solution to your urges!
 
M

Moore0

Member
Trisquel said:
Congrats on trhee months!! It is impressive how you are kicking this addiction out.
Hopefully I will get there too!

Are you taking steps to have real healthy sex? It seems like a good solution to your urges!
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Hey man, thank you for your kind words and what a journey it’s been so far .

yes I am having real healthy sex just not enough to have my crave for it dail down a bit and at this stretch of this long journey that is what I’m currently battling with . But maybe this is a phase and at some point my body will have to get used to the routine of my sexual schedule, who knows
 
M

Moore0

Member
DAY 104
The last one week has been pretty much easy , no sudden urges , no off the roof libido etc . Could be one of those weeks or my body is adjusting to the routine now . Whichever way I’m truly happy with this journey that I’ve been on for 104 days. Onto day 130
 
M

Moore0

Member
DAY 109

I think my body is adjusting pretty fine so far . Healthy mind , healthy penis, I think right now I’m surviving on flash backs lol . But the beautiful thing about them is that it doesn’t make me crave for pornography . Pushing for day 130 now
 
M

Moore0

Member
Day 110??????????

I put the question marks here today because today for the first time since this journey began I touched my self and orgasmed. My libido returned today and boy was I feeling great discomforts in my balls from erection without release , I didn’t look at porn , my brain still doesn’t crave pornography, I have no intention to go back to it because at this point it doesn’t even fascinate me and has actually made me wonder what about it that really caught me in the first place . But I succumbed to my libido and I would admit felt much better after I orgasmed , I didn’t do it again and also didn’t have the urges to go again . But I’m in a dilemma I started this Journey because I was addicted to pornography and MO the two went hand in hand but I haven’t consumed porn , I don’t have PEID anymore but does this count as a win????? Will I do it again??? Not probably anytime soon but I’m not sure this counts too . I’m confused
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Did you have wet dreams during your recovery? Sometimes they can help you gauge ideal ejaculation frequency while you're without a partner.
 
M

Moore0

Member
Yes I had wet dreams , especially in the period I had a ridiculous high sex drive . I think even a few days ago I had another one not sure I remember all the details involved . I appreciate all the help I get from your words and would love to know how you mean it can guage ideal ejaculation frequency
 
K

Kraken

Well-Known Member
Moore0 said:
DAY 90

Made it to 90 days. Body feels good , urges returned yesterday through today and I mean urges for sex not to look for porn . My balls feel a little discomfort when this happens I’ve noticed almost like blue balls . I guess the last 15 years it got used to regular ejaculation and the last 3months it’s barely seen more than 8 ejaculations . It literally feels very heavy like I need to get on off to feel lighter . I don’t know if it’s another trick it’s playing to get me to MO . Anyways day 90 I don’t have intentions of going back to porn consummation but I do have intentions of MO’n at least once a week because the sexual frustrations are a receipe for disaster and I’ve read up also on all the effects of non ejaculation from men as regards to testicular cancer later on In life , maybe when I get to day 130. Until then this streak is what is keeping me going and remembering that I would break it and start all over again is enough motivation to keep going
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Great work!
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Moore0 said:
Yes I had wet dreams , especially in the period I had a ridiculous high sex drive . I think even a few days ago I had another one not sure I remember all the details involved . I appreciate all the help I get from your words and would love to know how you mean it can guage ideal ejaculation frequency
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You want to know what your true libido is, rather than relying on your addictive cravings to convince you to ejaculate. You need time for your brain chemistry to return to balance before you will know your true libido. Eventually it can be useful to gauge your "natural cycle" for your current age by tracking releases that you *don't* engineer yourself.
 
M

Moore0

Member
Androg said:
You want to know what your true libido is, rather than relying on your addictive cravings to convince you to ejaculate. You need time for your brain chemistry to return to balance before you will know your true libido. Eventually it can be useful to gauge your "natural cycle" for your current age by tracking releases that you *don't* engineer yourself.
Click to expand...
Oh I see what you mean, that makes sense !
 
M

Moore0

Member
Day 113 ( of not consuming pornography)

Pretty smooth ride , a few random urges but like I stated I am at place in my brain where I desire no craving for Pornography. For the first in this journey I MO’d on Wednesday and I’ll say this , I felt great relief although I don’t have intentions to make that a lifestyle again I would look at ways to make sure I had healthy sex and if that isn’t in reach over a certain period of time , I would pace myself in a very healthy way. What a journey it’s been and I must say , I am in a very healthy place physically and mentally
 
M

Moore0

Member
Day 133

today I realized I have reached the target I set for myself months ago . It’s a 133 days since I started this journey and I have a few things to get off my chest .
1. When I started this journey I was at a point where I didn’t think it was possible by any means to be free from pornography and PMO, I was 15 years deep into this addiction
2. I had began to notice the very signs of PEID and even though I had one or two instances in the past where my penis didn’t come up , I assumed it was probably one of those days and it wasn’t up until November last year that I failed 3 times back to back to back and it shook me to the core .
3. this journey has been hard at times , I’ve fought through some unbearable days , days where my Brian craved at unbearable levels and I managed to come through even with the presence of things that were sooo triggering on the internet, I did this with pure willpower because I was determined to not destroy my relationship with someone whom I met in November and loved very much
4. In this journey so far I masturbated 3 times without the consumption of porn the first was when I was having phone sex with significant other , the other two times by myself when my libido was insanely high and didn’t have my significant other near me and I also didn’t want to cheat on her. The last two times I also did without consuming or looking at porn , just my hormones and erect penis asking for sex .
5. I went into the gym , exercised a lot and my body became healthy , I didn’t have PEID from the 2nd month but had some anxiety issues with eventually went away . I am at point where I don’t even think about pornography, it doesn’t even matter what I see on the internet no matter how provocative. It almost like my Brian has totally shut it out .

6. I am healthy , my mind is healthy , my penis is healthy. Today I am closing this thread and hoping someone can see this and know that they can fight through this addiction, notwithstanding our journeys are different and might take you a longer time but I can say I am now okay and have zero intentions of going back , sometimes I can’t even believe I was hooked into this stuff in the first place . I may lurk around from time to time but I may not have the energy nor consistency to update this thread so I have decided this might be my last . On that note , Gentlemen ! I take a bow
 
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