It's time to change


Well-Known Member
167 days. Through the apex, next week will be busy but I will have room to think about stuff besides work again.

Exhausted but the good news is I didn’t use PMO. Historically my PMO has been out of control in periods like this.


I think we often mistake distraction for stress reduction. That's understandable, and works not badly if the distraction is something constructive like exercise or connecting with others or meditation or finding something inspiring to read or watch.


Respected Member
168 days. It’s funny how I used to use porn to deal with stress. It didn’t actually deal with it at all. These really stressful times weren’t any less stressful when I used. Total illusion.
Obviously addictive behavior will never get rid of any stress. I look at it as a "break", putting this stress on hold for a while but it eventually comes back. Awesome job for 168 days, man! That's a long fuckin time!


Well-Known Member
173 days. Gradually seeing work slow down little by little. Among other things hopefully will have a little more time to actually share what’s going on with recovery here.


Well-Known Member
176 days. Yesterday I had the first legitimate urge to use porn that I have for a while. There have been little moments if course over all this time, but yesterday was more like the old days.

It was triggered by an image in an album cover that I have seen a million times during this streak with no issue but yesterday it triggered.

Which means it wasn’t actually the image that triggered it. I realized I have been, in just the last 2-3 weeks, letting some habits slip in the name of “I am almost to the end of this work stuff, I am tired, it doesn’t matter if I shortcut this thing or that for a few days, I will be back to it soon”

A dangerous mentality and so I am done with it. Back to business now.

Yesterday I had been planning to go for a run but was working on music when I saw the cover and had the trigger. I really did consider using but remembered myself, everything I have done to get here, the pointlessness of porn, etc., and decided not to use. Just to be sure I decided to leave right then for my run. Forgot all about that happening until just now sitting down to write this.

Anyways, a little scare every now and then is good to keep me vigilant. No more shortcuts and no more excuses. And lucky me after I work today I am done with weekend work and shouldn’t be working 15 hour days during the week anymore, so that helps too.

Porn is fantasy, fantasy gives me nothing.


Well-Known Member
179 days. Was out of town for work yesterday, and flying back home tonight. Short trip, so less risky than in the past, but it is nice to be in a place on recovery where it barely even registers anymore. Before the last few months I lived in fear of trips because of how consistently I slipped up on work trips. Didn’t even think about last night.