Believe in the Process

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 3

Yesterday, I was asking myself " Do i really want to leave this flith or i am pretending to leave ? ". Most part of me wanted to leave it but a tiny part is not ready yet.

I don't want build a house(No P habit) with the deck of cards which will fall completely with the smallest force(urge). I want to build my house with strong bricks and durable cement, so it will stand for years and years.

I have to convince myself, Porn is genuinely bad for the brain, relationship, career, mental health. There is nothing good in porn, so better leave it and start living the real life.
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Relapsed again.
This time the depression is very high that I had lost all hopes. It's like I don't want to climb the well that I had fallen into, like i lost the strength and motivation to climb the well again after failing several times and waiting to die there.

As I can't take this anymore, i approached mental wellness platform provided by my campus. I had my first counselling session today for about 30 min.

I feel better now.

Thanks.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Relapsed again.
This time the depression is very high that I had lost all hopes. It's like I don't want to climb the well that I had fallen into, like i lost the strength and motivation to climb the well again after failing several times and waiting to die there.

As I can't take this anymore, i approached mental wellness platform provided by my campus. I had my first counselling session today for about 30 min.

I feel better now.

Thanks.
Smart move. Daily support may be useful. There are online groups that meet. All the best.
 

Trisquel

Active Member
I'm sorry to hear about your relapse, I hope you can learn from it and stay positive.

Big props on going to get to your campus psychologist!!, that takes courage, and it can help.

You will find out what best works for you, I'm sure about that.
 

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
You’re still very young and already discovered your problem, at your age I didn’t realize I had a problem! Now consistency is the key: Two weeks without porn are two weeks of your life won, next time you’ll do more and discover your triggers and dangerous situations. You need to be fully convinced to leave this behind forever and remind yourself why you want to quit every time, urges arise. You can and you will do it and your life will improve a lot without this addiction!
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 5

Today presentation went well. While coming back to the hostel, after the presentation, I saw a couple(my juniors🥲), one sitting on the other's lap and doing naughty things, Which triggered me. Fortunately, i manage the situation.

After returning to room i slept for 3 hrs, just woke up and felling very relaxed , no urges. Now, Gonna prepare for my exams which is coming the next week.
 

AJ7

Active Member
Day 5

Today presentation went well. While coming back to the hostel, after the presentation, I saw a couple(my juniors🥲), one sitting on the other's lap and doing naughty things, Which triggered me. Fortunately, i manage the situation.

After returning to room i slept for 3 hrs, just woke up and felling very relaxed , no urges. Now, Gonna prepare for my exams which is coming the next week.
Nice on managing the situation @Hunter_ keep that productivity up 👍
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 6

Yesterday was tough, i was almost in verge of relapse but thank God i didn't.

I usually watch this series, which releases 3 episodes ( 20 min each) every week. So, yesterday I was thinking to watch this series after my dinner. After dinner, i was excited to see what happens next in the story but unfortunately, they didn't released the episodes this week.
I had promised my brain to give dopamine by watch this small episodes but since I can't able to fulfill it, my brain started craving for dopamine and hence it's starts playing the P scene that I had relapsed last time. My brain knows i had developed some resistance, so it just asked me to open that p website.

brain : open the website hunter, u no need to watch any videos . Let's check ur resistance, just open it.

i won't lie, i was really convinced with this idea. All this was happening when I am in my friends room. So, i was returning to my room just to open the website. While returning I noticed my heartbeat is rising to another level and the urges where at peak. I realized, the instant i opened the website, my brain will take over and i have no chance in returning.

i was trying to remember why I want to leave this behind. But all those logic where not working at the heat of the moment.

My last weapon was to take some deep breathing for few seconds.i had to admit if I hadn't done this, i would have relapsed yesterday. slowly slowly i was taking the control from brain and the reasons to leave P made sense.

Although the urges where there for some time, i managed the situation and at the end i didn't even opened that website🥳.

Finally, i satisfied my brain's dopamine craving by watching a standup show.

Things to do to avoided these situations:
1) In this case, i had promised my brain to give dopamine by watching a series and thought to sleep after watching. Since the episodes was not released and i don't have any backup plan, my brain took this chance as an opportunity. So here after during leisure activities, i should have a backup plans like watching standup comedies, talk to family, listen to music.

2) walking from my friends room to mine and taking some deep breath had helped me to get some edge over my brain. I know at the heat of the moment these things may not work sometime, but i have to use all my strategies to win this.

I am proud of saving myself yesterday. lets reiterate ourself loud and clear, porn is not an option.
 
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Hunter_

Active Member
Day 7

First time i have M'ed without p to release the sexual tension and urge. I don't know whether I should M without p to overcome strong urges, i am just experimenting myself.
If anyone have any suggestions or opinions on whether one should M without P or not, please share.
 
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