Time to End This Once and For All
- Thread starter dienekes1
- Start date
Blondie
Respected Member
Thanks, @Blondie!
Day 79
No real urges today, which I’m really happy about. Today marks exactly 2 weeks until I take the bar exam. While I feel pretty confident about passing, the anxiety is starting to creep in; I’m going to need to be diligent about finding healthy ways to deal with stress so I don’t succumb to an urge.
No real urges today, which I’m really happy about. Today marks exactly 2 weeks until I take the bar exam. While I feel pretty confident about passing, the anxiety is starting to creep in; I’m going to need to be diligent about finding healthy ways to deal with stress so I don’t succumb to an urge.
Blondie
Respected Member
I think in times like these @dienekes1, it's good just to focus on doing your best day by day in reviewing and studying for your test. I know for myself, during these last few years of school, if I was focused only on keeping my good grades (which I really like) then I would find myself only focusing on the end result and NOT the day by day results, thus seeing the forest for the trees and missing the point of all of this, that is, to go to bed each day knowing you've given it your best, and whatever else may happen, it's out of your control. Obviously easier said than done, but it does help.
Best
Best
Great advice, brother. Each day I aim to do the best I can, to put my maximum effort forward. That’s all anyone can really do in any endeavor.
Day 82
No urges today.
I think it’s worth mentioning the role that meditation / mindfulness has played throughout this journey. For most men, even those who are aware that PMO is a destructive habit, the decision to watch porn isn’t really a decision at all, but rather a compulsion. It reflexive and largely automatic. We’ve been conditioned, like Pavlov’s dog, to open up an incognito window and lock the door whenever an urge to PMO arises.
However, mindfulness teaches one to examine his thoughts and to be skeptical of the utility of acting upon every urge. I began meditating 3 years ago, and my regular meditation practice has helped me immensely in recognizing the fleeting nature of thoughts and impulses. It’s hard to explain and is something that one needs to experience firsthand to truly grasp, but cultivating the ability to see urges for what they are (i.e., nothing more than ephemeral waves of energy) is an indispensable tool in overcoming this addiction. I do not think it’s an exaggeration to state that without meditation, I would still be languishing in the hell that is porn addiction. For those looking to take up meditation, I would recommend Sam Harris’ ‘Waking Up’ app — this is what I have been using in my daily practice.
Have a porn-free weekend, gents.
No urges today.
I think it’s worth mentioning the role that meditation / mindfulness has played throughout this journey. For most men, even those who are aware that PMO is a destructive habit, the decision to watch porn isn’t really a decision at all, but rather a compulsion. It reflexive and largely automatic. We’ve been conditioned, like Pavlov’s dog, to open up an incognito window and lock the door whenever an urge to PMO arises.
However, mindfulness teaches one to examine his thoughts and to be skeptical of the utility of acting upon every urge. I began meditating 3 years ago, and my regular meditation practice has helped me immensely in recognizing the fleeting nature of thoughts and impulses. It’s hard to explain and is something that one needs to experience firsthand to truly grasp, but cultivating the ability to see urges for what they are (i.e., nothing more than ephemeral waves of energy) is an indispensable tool in overcoming this addiction. I do not think it’s an exaggeration to state that without meditation, I would still be languishing in the hell that is porn addiction. For those looking to take up meditation, I would recommend Sam Harris’ ‘Waking Up’ app — this is what I have been using in my daily practice.
Have a porn-free weekend, gents.
Good luck on that exam!
Day 90
Very grateful to have accomplished my initial goal and to have made it this far in my reboot journey. I’ve changed significantly since embarking upon this path. I’m more confident in myself, I’m less self-absorbed, my mood is more stable, and as strange as it sounds, I do believe that I’ve become more intelligent (which maybe isn’t so crazy given that porn use is proven to degrade one’s cognitive capacity). Most importantly, however, it feels great not being beholden to a compulsion and to truly be the master of my self and actions — for the first time in my life. In short, I’m a better man than I was 90 days ago and while this road has been difficult at times, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Self-mastery and virtuous living are, in my opinion, the keystones to a happy, fulfilled life. Each day free from porn is one step closer to the life that I have envisioned for myself since childhood. 90 days down — thousands more to go!
Very grateful to have accomplished my initial goal and to have made it this far in my reboot journey. I’ve changed significantly since embarking upon this path. I’m more confident in myself, I’m less self-absorbed, my mood is more stable, and as strange as it sounds, I do believe that I’ve become more intelligent (which maybe isn’t so crazy given that porn use is proven to degrade one’s cognitive capacity). Most importantly, however, it feels great not being beholden to a compulsion and to truly be the master of my self and actions — for the first time in my life. In short, I’m a better man than I was 90 days ago and while this road has been difficult at times, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Self-mastery and virtuous living are, in my opinion, the keystones to a happy, fulfilled life. Each day free from porn is one step closer to the life that I have envisioned for myself since childhood. 90 days down — thousands more to go!