The Phoenix

[strongfuture89]

Day 1
I´m starting a new thread, with new hope, new rules. Today was a good day, it´s day 1 of the new me and been completely clean. I will have more social control starting tomorrow so that will help, too. I follow dr Huberman´s daily routine to help myself focus and will add more insight where possible and needed.

Dr Huberman´s routine:
https://www.routines.club/routine/andrew-huberman

A great video about balance and neurology, that helps motivating you to use techniques like cold showers and sports:

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 2
Just doing a check-in. Everything going great. I´m happy with having social ´supervision´ now so I can´t relapse. Had an O today, with my girl, so that´s completely within my rules of being an honest partner.
Let´s continue!

 

[Androg]

Great. Watch our for "chaser" over the next few days: https://nofap.com/faq/chaser-effect/

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 4
Thank you for the warning. I´m still under control for the moment and with enough supervision, I can´t chase.
I still focus on the scientific explanation that pleasure leads to pain and pain leads to pleasure. So I´m doing my cold showers and fitness. Especially the cold showers give a nice long-term dopamine increase without creating addiction (which happens with short spikes of dopamine). Yoga nidra, breathing techniques and sunlight exposure also help.

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 6
Another great day. This is all the beginning of a new life. 🕊 I still have to work on keeping a strong day routine and staying balanced but I´m on a good path.

 

[STST]

Strong, you alright there bro?

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 13 I think?
I´m doing perfect, @STST, thanks for asking!
I´ve been very busy, too occupied for PMO. I´m also in a safe space now, so less danger.

 

[strongfuture89]

I did good until now, had a relapse in MO (without P). It was a chaser effect after being more sexually active with my wife. Second trigger was work-related, I think, maybe just the opportunity idk.
But that gives me - had to use a calculator because I wasn´t tracking - a good 52 days. It´s still early to say in which way I will redirect... P is something that I have avoided for a long time now, regular P has been abolished for many months I think. I slowly tapered down from P to softer stuff to P substitutes. Well, everyone is different so I won´t say this as a golden advice but for those interested.
I also had an offline journal on my phone where I would write in everyday. Maybe that helped, because I stopped it 4 days ago, better continue that.
I´m happy I didn´t reach for P, because that would bring me into a spiral.
I will continue observing my habits and actions, to keep myself on the right track. It´s never easy to admit a day 0 scenario, but I think people know it happens and I think it´s better to return now than in a week.

 

[strongfuture89]

I saw a youtube video about how self-improvement is half of the work. The other half is self-acceptance. He was quite right about how self-improvement gives you a good motivation boost but at the end I still feel a bit stuck (and I don´t think I´m the only one). You do your ´good things´ but you´re not really healing your wounds. Shadow work should help. I don´t really like the sound of the name, but it´s something I should try. They say there are three strategies: suppress, escape and project. I notice that when I stop my vices (escape strategies), I tended to start projecting more. Like others here, I´d feel moments of light anger or frustration that were not my intention. I was telling myself some days ago that maybe I should channel that energy in sports, but again that is an evasive strategy. I think mindfullness and learning why I think certain things will be better, so I won´t have a need anymore for escaping or projecting emotions. I will do some research on that.

 

[Androg]

I saw a youtube video about how self-improvement is half of the work. The other half is self-acceptance. He was quite right about how self-improvement gives you a good motivation boost but at the end I still feel a bit stuck (and I don´t think I´m the only one). You do your ´good things´ but you´re not really healing your wounds. Shadow work should help. I don´t really like the sound of the name, but it´s something I should try. They say there are three strategies: suppress, escape and project. I notice that when I stop my vices (escape strategies), I tended to start projecting more. Like others here, I´d feel moments of light anger or frustration that were not my intention. I was telling myself some days ago that maybe I should channel that energy in sports, but again that is an evasive strategy. I think mindfullness and learning why I think certain things will be better, so I won´t have a need anymore for escaping or projecting emotions. I will do some research on that.

It depends on the source of your uneasiness. It’s sometimes worth looking for underlying issues, but don’t assume the problem is mostly underlying issues.

If exercise works, then you may just be dealing with a brain chemistry issue. Remember your inner state (inner balance) gets projected onto everything around you. So, feelings of uneasiness do not necessarily indicate deep, psychological problems.

Research shows that depression, for example, is more effectively treated with exercise than with antidepressants or various other therapies.

 

[strongfuture89]

Thank you, @Androg It is nice having another perspective on these things. It´s all kinda complex: emotions, urges, past experiences. You sometimes don´t know why your mind and body do things certain ways.
I´ve been gathering my coping strategies, like hobbies and music and stuff, to get back on track. I´ve been on and off for some weeks now without a good streak. I´m going to try again now.

Day 1

My favorite videos to stay focused:

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 3
Okay, I wrote a rant here... Summary: if you´re a fellow non-christian, please say hi because I sometimes feel lonely and thought that maybe this movement was a religious thing, which it probably isn´t.

On the internet, I saw some sources of what you could call anti-anti-porn, some months ago. They said anti-porn is an invention of christian people that are ashamed of sexuality. This bothered me, not because I´m christian, but the opposite: "I´m not christian, so maybe I don´t have to be anti-porn" would be a theory. But then I think to myself: no, there is science that proves that porn acts like drugs, I´ve had some f*cked up ideas and life experienced that were the the result of this stupid porn influence. It helps me to see non-christian people talk about their problem, how it´s not just a cultural/religious thing. If this was the matrix, those pages are agent Smith crap that want you to think it´s all okay.
I think I´m getting my mindset back where I want it to be. I´m not some red pill fanatic, I have no clue what all these American words mean , I just know that porn is a huge business, they give away a lot for free and love to feed it to young people to get them addicted, all with an agenda. I´m starting to really despise and hate it, not the people themselves, but the acts, the sites, the culture, the lie about ´it is just love and nature´. There are communities with a higher number of lgbt, feminists and left-wing, who seem to support porn and it´s making me lose respect for their views if they can really defend a modern world filled with this stupid porn like it´s a happy hippy thing. (I don´t want to hurt anyone´s feelings, I know I´m just saying what´s on my mind without a filter, but ...it makes me sad, confused and frustrated to see people accept porn so easily, while also attacking ´cis men´ at the same time) It makes me think these people also suffer a lot and use porn to find comfort and don´t yet see the terrible effect it will have on them.

Now, I´m trying to focus more on work and taking cold swims outside each morning when I wake up.
"Porn is not an option," a wise man said

I also tell myself: "Treat every stranger as a brother or sister, a fellow human being."
It helps me focus on real life.

 

[Blondie]

Summary: if you´re a fellow non-christian, please say hi because I sometimes feel lonely and thought that maybe this movement was a religious thing, which it probably isn´t.

This is most definitely NOT only a Christian movement, no reason to feel lonely, I'm right with you.

On the internet, I saw some sources of what you could call anti-anti-porn, some months ago. They said anti-porn is an invention of christian people that are ashamed of sexuality.

Pure propaganda. There's definitely many Christians who are into this movement (for obvious reasons) but it's not THEIR movement, especially the whole scientific aspect of it.

I just know that porn is a huge business, they give away a lot for free and love to feed it to young people to get them addicted, all with an agenda. I´m starting to really despise and hate it, not the people themselves, but the acts, the sites, the culture, the lie about ´it is just love and nature´.

Money Money Money. There definitely is an agenda to it, if that's only to make money, or worse, something even more sinister, is still to be determined. However, props to you for seeing the people behind this institution as "people", and that we can hate the system and culture but not hate the people who are a part of it, mostly the women I'm talking about here.

I´m not some red pill fanatic, I have no clue what all these American words mean

The so called red pill movement is mostly a place for American losers to hang out and live in an a "safe" anti-women echo chamber, blaming all their problems on "women" and "feminism" while never taking a hard look in the mirror. They definitely prove that you can be born with a dick but still NOT be a man.

There are communities with a higher number of lgbt, feminists and left-wing, who seem to support porn and it´s making me lose respect for their views if they can really defend a modern world filled with this stupid porn like it´s a happy hippy thing.

Yes, both sides have many contradictions. Many conservatives here get a hard on for capitalism and the free market, while not seeing that any country governed by the money class will inevitably lead to the shit culture we have now. If only money, economic growth and the pursuit of happiness is our national religion, well, here we are. If porn makes people "happy" and is a multi billion dollar enterprise growing annually, who can really complain when their religious creed is all the above?

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 4
Thank you @Blondie for the support and ideas.
I´m areligious with some pre-Christian interests, just as a hobby, but I have to avoid bad communities that walk on the edge of hatred or disbeliefs.
And you´re right about capitalism being an easy ground for porn to grow on as well. Both sides have their downfalls.
Long live common sense. I´m happy these scientific articles can help us with seeing what is harming us and that we need to stop PMO.

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 7
I found the Easypeasy book and I´m reading it now. It´s quite interesting. The book said to continue as I´m doing now, which is no M or O (except for natural partner stuff). I´m working on reducing P-substitutes to complete zero and going monk mode, but I´m tapering down in a good way, I´m at 5% from what it used to be. I´m working on my mindframe, the idea that P is not helping in any way. My plan was to have my day 1 on August 1, because it´s easy on the mind to calculate days, weeks, months... So I´d like to be at 0% starting tomorrow, I think it would motivate me in the long run.

 

[strongfuture89]

Finished the book. Let´s try this. I also deleted every tiny thing that can be seen as a porn substitute, because I don´t want even the smallest thing to feel like a stepping stone to something else.

Day 0 of being a happy, proud non-user, saying no thank you to (digital) drug addiction

 

[Blondie]

Finished the book. Let´s try this. I also deleted every tiny thing that can be seen as a porn substitute, because I don´t want even the smallest thing to feel like a stepping stone to something else.

Nice @strongfuture89.

You got this.

 

[Androg]

Day 7
I found the Easypeasy book and I´m reading it now. It´s quite interesting. The book said to continue as I´m doing now, which is no M or O (except for natural partner stuff). I´m working on reducing P-substitutes to complete zero and going monk mode, but I´m tapering down in a good way, I´m at 5% from what it used to be. I´m working on my mindframe, the idea that P is not helping in any way. My plan was to have my day 1 on August 1, because it´s easy on the mind to calculate days, weeks, months... So I´d like to be at 0% starting tomorrow, I think it would motivate me in the long run.

thanks for the feedback. Keep me posted. I don’t want to recommend it unless it is helping people here. As I said, in the past, I know guys have mentioned it as being helpful.

 

[strongfuture89]

Day 1 of avoiding all drugs, so that also means anything created by the porn industry

Hey @Androg, yes I saw one of your posts about the book. The website itself looked a bit untrustworthy with the claims about providing an easy solution, but yeah the book helps calming you down and takes you on a journey.

Today is a spiritual day for me (and the first day of a month for easy following the daysbof no pmo), so I will occupy my mind with some creative things. I also told myself that when I feel urges, to first come here or read in the Easypeasy book.

Also did a good cold shower again this morning, healthy bastards they are haha. When you do them, you think why, but when they´re (almost) over, you´ll feel the benefit. With pain, comes healthy pleasure.
When you decide to start rebooting, it´s also important to delete all bad accounts on websites. It´s like Simba from the Lion King, going through branches and thorns to escape his fake paradise of laziness and being harmless. He´s a leader and a predator creature. And by going through those branches, cutting himself, he finally escapes and connects again with his nature, his ancestors and his real life. We also need to leave behind empty fantasy and lies, so that we can enjoy the horizons of real life, see the sun, feel the wind and respect ourselves and our nature. Let´s decide to stay free, to respect our free nature and the ability to protect our loved ones.

 

[Androg]

Day 1 of avoiding all drugs, so that also means anything created by the porn industry

Hey @Androg, yes I saw one of your posts about the book. The website itself looked a bit untrustworthy with the claims about providing an easy solution, but yeah the book helps calming you down and takes you on a journey.

Today is a spiritual day for me (and the first day of a month for easy following the daysbof no pmo), so I will occupy my mind with some creative things. I also told myself that when I feel urges, to first come here or read in the Easypeasy book.

Also did a good cold shower again this morning, healthy bastards they are haha. When you do them, you think why, but when they´re (almost) over, you´ll feel the benefit. With pain, comes healthy pleasure.
When you decide to start rebooting, it´s also important to delete all bad accounts on websites. It´s like Simba from the Lion King, going through branches and thorns to escape his fake paradise of laziness and being harmless. He´s a leader and a predator creature. And by going through those branches, cutting himself, he finally escapes and connects again with his nature, his ancestors and his real life. We also need to leave behind empty fantasy and lies, so that we can enjoy the horizons of real life, see the sun, feel the wind and respect ourselves and our nature. Let´s decide to stay free, to respect our free nature and the ability to protect our loved ones.

Thanks for the report on the Easypeasy book. Sometimes anything that helps us out of a rut is worthwhile. I’m glad it helps with shifting perspective and that you find it soothing. Keep me posted..