One day at a time.

[phoenix0015]

Hi benhj,
You know this feeling of low is part of recovery. It's our mind asking for it's dopamine fix. Also what we are trying to do is a very TOUGH thing to do. So let's acknowledge that and give ourselves some credit and pat on the back. I mean look how many times you PMOed in last 30 or 40 days? Very few times right ? So that's progress.  I think something positive is happening because of this very low consumption of PMO.
Yes it will be ideal not to PMO at all but this is also good.
Eventually we will get there buddy and that eventually is NOW. keep it going and keep coming back.

Focus on making yourself and your life better. We have to REPLACE PMO with something good. 

 

[pinkerton]

Keep coming back!

 

[phoenix0015]

Hi benhj,

How are you doing buddy. Hope all is well.
Just checking if you are doing ok.

Take care

 

[benhj]

Thanks both, checking in today. A day sober for which I am very grateful. Had a nice chilled out weekend with partner. Looking forward to SAA meeting tomorrow evening. Some work stresses I guess. Glad to be feeling crap sometimes. Because it means that I'm feeling. Grateful to be alive.

 

[phoenix0015]

Hi benhj,

Good to know you had a great weekend. SAA sounds a good way to fight PMO. So please share your experiences there.

Keep coming back. Have great days ahead.

 

[benhj]

Went to a great SAA meeting this evening. Heard a great recovery cliche -- 'compare and despair'. Very grateful for my sobriety today and glad to be alive.

 

[benhj]

Had an interesting day today. Quite out of my comfort zone with some presentation skills training at work.. One thing I learnt was how as speakers, we tend to 'think' too much, i.e. about how we should say stuff, and about how we're looking etc, and so we end up tripping up over ourselves, so to speak. It reminded me of recovery. If I think too much about it, it's not going to happen. Rather it needs to be a process of doing. I have to 'do' if I want to 'get'. Very grateful to be alive

 

[benhj]

Checking in, a day of sobriety for which I am grateful. So glad it's the weekend.

 

[benhj]

Starting to feel happy again -- such a good reminder why I am doing this. Glad to be alive. Grateful to my partner for her patience. For the shares I heard at SAA this afternoon and the general fellowship. For good food.

 

[pinkerton]

Happy to hear it. Thanks for sharing.

 

[benhj]

Went running earlier today and reminded how helpful exercise can be and that its possible to get a high from more natural means. Glad to have been free from my addiction just for today. Grateful to be sober.

 

[FlyPhoenix]

Hey man, great to see you on the right path, doing the right things. How is the "step-work" coming along?

 

[benhj]

Thanks Fly. Slowly..

A good day today although feeling pretty bloody low. As I get my balance back, it seems I hit pretty strong lows. Went running again earlier, which really helped, again grateful for the natural endorphin rush. All in all, I genuinely can't complain. I have a super patient girlfriend and I'm amazed generally that she's stuck by me. Very grateful to be alive.

 

[phoenix0015]

Hi benhj,

Good to see you in happy mood. You are doing great. I agree exercise is a great help and probably best replacement behaviour. 

My last week has been very bad but I take inspiration from you guys to keep coming back and keep working on making my life better.

Keep it up and keep sharing.

 

[matteo]

Hi benhj, I wish you all the best. Nice to read that you're grateful to be alive. I know the feeling and the way it intensified since I started this reboot-quest. Hang in there and good luck at work!

 

[benhj]

Thanks Phoenix0015, thanks matteo. Went running again today, realise how much fitness I've lost over last few years. I suspect all the PMO-ing had quite a bit to do with it..

Anyway, feeling a lot happier today. Yesterday, my mood was pretty dark. Grateful for my sobriety. Its great that I only have to be sober today. Tomorrow is a new one! Grateful to be alive

 

[pinkerton]

Right on Ben keep going

 

[benhj]

Thanks Pinkerton! Feeling better again today. Went to a great SAA meeting this evening and heard a tremendous step 1 share. Really a good reminder of my own powerlessness over my addiction and why I need to get sober. A grateful day. Glad to have been sober, grateful to be alive.

 

[FlyPhoenix]

Those meetings are awesome especially when used in conjunction with this forum. Do you have a sponsor? I've found that to be a bit of a help especially when I'm tempted to beat myself up and get stressed, which is often.

 

[benhj]

Yeah too right, meetings and this forum together are fantastic tools of recovery. I have people in the group who I chat to regarding step work but I wouldn't say I have a sponsor as such.

A grateful day sober from porn. Glad to be alive.