savingmysoul said:
Keep hanging in there.
This is a good fight if there ever was one.
It can be done - it is going to be a struggle, but it can be done.
Embrace your strength
SMS
Thank you SMS
Been catching myself gazing at women the last couple of days... so.. there also that.
Got some great pointers in the 'Objectifying women' thread.
Got me thinking about where's all this coming from... cause its definitely me that wants to stop this behavior, but it also me who wants the porn, the ogling...
Brain science says human brain is composed of three parts - reptilian, mammalian and neo-cortex.
The reptilian being responsible for survival, mammalian for emotions and the neo-cortex - higher thinking, logic, etc.
So is this my lizard brain that yearns the porn and leering so much, or is it my "higher" human brain?
I know its not the emotional brain, cause that gave me the booze addiction back when I was young and felt hart broken..
So.. who is "I" ?
The "I" typing this at the moment? Or the "I" checking out the women outside? The "I" determined to stop all this and change?
The "I" years ago boozing up regularly?
"me" has no idea
Me thinks, that "I" am like a ship, run by a crew of monkeys. Screaming, fighting, running amok. Every now and then a stronger monkey emerges, beats the sh*t out of the others, and takes control. And for some time all the other monkeys obey the new captain.
I'm confident that I can make my new "Thou shalt not watch porn, ogle women and masturbate" monkey the strongest.
Its not easy, takes time and dedication. To steal some Churchill - 'blood, toil, tears and sweat'.
But its doable, I've done it with some of my other monkeys.
I'm beginning to believe its not the best solution though.. cause there's always another monkey around the corner.. silently gathering strength, till one day it sucker-punches your hard trained captain monkey and takes over. And then its back to the drawing board all over again...
So I think I'm gonna go another way, and it scares me. But at the moment this feels right.
I'll stop trying to whip my monkeys into shape. I will not command and conquer.
I will release control. I want my monkeys to evolve.