Counting days into my freedom.
- Thread starter igetum
- Start date
M
mtaha2015
Guest
igetum , your progress is great.
just few hours away from 30 days milestone.
keep it up.
just few hours away from 30 days milestone.
keep it up.
Today felt so confusing. I am alone in the house and there are fragments of my filthy past in my head. Seems like the things I have done to achieve great O's are back to haunt me and in my head I can feel the battle raging. I feel like touching my self to initialize a MO but then somehow I stop. I go out and spend a whole three hours exploring the outside. I call my girlfriend, she does not pick up. I watch a series and listen to some music. I have mixed feelings of anger, anxiety, happiness, loneliness, desire, confusion, all coming and going none making me feel any better. At this rate I think I may need to see a specialist at least to get some things off my chest. I have no urge though of PMO, it feels so distant. I hope someone can advise me on ways to stop bad memories from terrorizing me.
M
mtaha2015
Guest
Stop it right there.
don't lose your control.
fight back.
don't lose your control.
fight back.
T
thailandexpress2112
Guest
As mtaha2015 suggested fight back hard. Really good that you don't have any PMO urges!
I've also been experience moods swings lately, including today. At some points I feel super confident and energetic, then later in the day agitated and full of doubt. These are well know withdrawal symptoms and can last a while. Yesterday I actually looked up how long these withdrawals will last and it seemed like the average length was around 50 days. That may actually be a bit longer than average but I put that number in my head as when I should start to see things normalize again.
That being said, I think meeting with a specialist to talk things over can't be a bad idea. I've considered it myself but plan to ride these 90 days out and see where I stand. I know just talking on this forum has been huge for me so I imagine an in person conversation could help put some issues behind.
Stay strong and try to stay busy. I remember reading a while ago that you aren't working now, so if you have the free time try and pick out a project to work on. Something not involving a computer would be best I feel. I am very busy with work and school but if I had free time I would pour it all into getting better at guitar or building a guitar amp!
I've also been experience moods swings lately, including today. At some points I feel super confident and energetic, then later in the day agitated and full of doubt. These are well know withdrawal symptoms and can last a while. Yesterday I actually looked up how long these withdrawals will last and it seemed like the average length was around 50 days. That may actually be a bit longer than average but I put that number in my head as when I should start to see things normalize again.
That being said, I think meeting with a specialist to talk things over can't be a bad idea. I've considered it myself but plan to ride these 90 days out and see where I stand. I know just talking on this forum has been huge for me so I imagine an in person conversation could help put some issues behind.
Stay strong and try to stay busy. I remember reading a while ago that you aren't working now, so if you have the free time try and pick out a project to work on. Something not involving a computer would be best I feel. I am very busy with work and school but if I had free time I would pour it all into getting better at guitar or building a guitar amp!
1/3 of 90 days.
I would like to thank people here, especially Thailandexpress2112, Mtaha and Moutainsummit, for keeping up with my reboot journey, popping up with useful ideas and words, and their own determination to win the no PMO battle. I am 1/3 to my target 90 days, but that is just a step, in the journey to the life that lies ahead of me. I am grateful to the whole reboot nation as a whole, without you I would still be stuck somewhere on the screen, impaling my life on the big thorn of PMO. I can not think of a greater way to repay the society than encouraging others to let go of PMO and making sure I do not relapse. Thank you all.
.
I would like to thank people here, especially Thailandexpress2112, Mtaha and Moutainsummit, for keeping up with my reboot journey, popping up with useful ideas and words, and their own determination to win the no PMO battle. I am 1/3 to my target 90 days, but that is just a step, in the journey to the life that lies ahead of me. I am grateful to the whole reboot nation as a whole, without you I would still be stuck somewhere on the screen, impaling my life on the big thorn of PMO. I can not think of a greater way to repay the society than encouraging others to let go of PMO and making sure I do not relapse. Thank you all.
. 
BunnyBoy2015
Active Member
Hi igetum,
Well said sir!
Well said sir!
M
mtaha2015
Guest
igetum good luck.
keep going buddy.
you will now notice a great change in your own attitude.
you will feel a lot more energy in your body.
keep going buddy.
you will now notice a great change in your own attitude.
you will feel a lot more energy in your body.
T
thailandexpress2112
Guest
Good work igetum!! Over 1/3 of the way now which is truly impressive. As of today I've tied my longest no PMO record of 21 days. I'm looking forward to making the 1/3 mark myself
Feeling so happy right now. I mean I can really feel like a very large weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I can not imagine the amount of confidence I have gained over the last few days. I can now freely do some reading over the net without even thinking of opening a several disgusting Internet P windows. I definitely must keep this practice forever. Indecision though still came today but went, I am having less headaches and I only managed a siesta today, Not the whole 4 or 5 hour day sleep that hit me at the beginning of this session.
firstofall22
Active Member
Keep going mate, your story is a true inspiration for me! I realized my life is fogged and useless because of porn addiction just
a few days ago. I wanna do this too. Please don't stop! I won't too.
Much love
a few days ago. I wanna do this too. Please don't stop! I won't too.
Much love
Hi firstofall22,
I am very happy to know I have inspired somebody. I won't stop because right now I have began to plan for my life. Every day with its new things to do, and PMO won't be on any of my to do day list. Keep going, those few days are the first steps towards your freedom.firstofall22 said:
firstofall22
Active Member
Fuck yes it never felt so good. And its funny, I also plan a lot for my future. Cool, right?
M
mtaha2015
Guest
great progress by igetum.
stay that way my friend.
and keep this focus and concentration
don't lose your strength.
stay that way my friend.
and keep this focus and concentration
don't lose your strength.
Urges urges urges, but one thing is for sure, I am not giving in to them. I see a photos of ladies fully dressed and my mind tries so hard to go into fantasy mode. This must be an attempt to draw me back to porn fantasy. I think it is because I used to spend so much time fantasizing and undressing ladies in my head. I find reading keeps my mind busy though.
firstofall22
Active Member
Mate I can't tell you what urges I have right now. It's so hard.. I mean it wasn't until today but it is right now
All I wanna say is that you are not alone and you can absolutely do this, a lot of other guys have made it, and we can too!
Stay strong
All I wanna say is that you are not alone and you can absolutely do this, a lot of other guys have made it, and we can too!
Stay strong
Day 36
I do not know if it is a foggy mind, or my memory playing tricks on me. Every conversation I have had today has been followed by a series of pardons. I have been forgetting things the whole day, a thing which I only experienced somewhere between 12th and 18th day. Recently at night I wake up with hard wood, something which was very rare in my era of PMO . Somewhere at the corner of my mind I hear a voice saying "MO just once, just once" but I do not want to. I do not have the pull or even thought to watch P though, it is like it is slowly dissipating.
For those 36 days, I have not regretted my decision to quit PMO.
I do not know if it is a foggy mind, or my memory playing tricks on me. Every conversation I have had today has been followed by a series of pardons. I have been forgetting things the whole day, a thing which I only experienced somewhere between 12th and 18th day. Recently at night I wake up with hard wood, something which was very rare in my era of PMO . Somewhere at the corner of my mind I hear a voice saying "MO just once, just once" but I do not want to. I do not have the pull or even thought to watch P though, it is like it is slowly dissipating.
For those 36 days, I have not regretted my decision to quit PMO.
BunnyBoy2015
Active Member
Hi igetum,
I don't know how you do it, going MO free also! I relapsed again. I'm finding it so hard to keep control of my mind. I get so horny, and I get intrusive thoughts making me think I'm suddenly going to grab a computer and go look at some P. So I end up MOing just to get my mind back under control. I went 28 days once, but I'm not even getting close to that these days.
Keep up the good work, and don't worry about the brain fog, you are doing so well.
I don't know how you do it, going MO free also! I relapsed again. I'm finding it so hard to keep control of my mind. I get so horny, and I get intrusive thoughts making me think I'm suddenly going to grab a computer and go look at some P. So I end up MOing just to get my mind back under control. I went 28 days once, but I'm not even getting close to that these days.
Keep up the good work, and don't worry about the brain fog, you are doing so well.