Counting days into my freedom.

[igetum]

I don't know how you do it, going MO free also! I relapsed again. I'm finding it so hard to keep control of my mind. I get so horny, and I get intrusive thoughts making me think I'm suddenly going to grab a computer and go look at some P. So I end up MOing just to get my mind back under control. I went 28 days once, but I'm not even getting close to that these days.

Hi mountainsummit
I also get those intense feelings to Mo,more especially after my 35th day. It is like another bout of withdrawal symptoms and sometimes they are so bad. I just cannot go back, if they come at night, I argue my brain out of it and sleep. Right now as I am writing this, my cravings for MO are so bad, but I just decided to ignore them and write here. I am planning to read so much about days 30+ today.

 

[igetum]

Day 44,
I welcome all the changes that I have undergone through the 44 days, the pains, the happiness, the emotions, they have all made me realize that I am now living a life and not avoiding it.

 

[firstofall22]

Good to hear these positive vibes, man! Good on you!!

I'm struggling with urges badly, but being strong so far. Please tell me that it's worth it  :-[

 

[Asianguy]

@ignetum
Nice ! 45 days, half the goal, how are you feeling ?



@ firstofall22

Don't worry, it's worth it. It's not about saying no to urges actually, It's about saying yes to a healthy lifestyle. And what we are doing is using the times that we would have waste on Porn to do positive things.
You will be good !

 

[igetum]

MO'd yesterday, I let myself be absorbed in boredom, and the next thing I know I have MO'd. I did not think of P though. I do not feel as if I have failed though and I just want to set new goals in life. After yesterday, I feel urges to MO, but i will just leave it. I am not loosing my goal of winning.

 

[thailandexpress2112]

Hello igetum,

One MO without thinking of P won't set you back at all at this stage. The important thing is to keep doing what you are planning to do and don't start MOing frequently. This may quickly lead to a full relapse.

Sadly I relapsed watching a sexual themed youtube video on Saturday. After that I went on to watch P. I'm not too happy about this but I am back in track and feeling motivated. Great to see you are still going strong. Don't let this MO deter you, you are doing great!

 

[igetum]

Thanks alot thailandexpress2112, I am looking at the loopholes that made me to MO and sealing them. I have identified boredom as one and I have already rolled a heavy reading and exercise schedule for the whole week.

 

[BunnyBoy2015]

Hi igetum,

Sorry to hear you MO'd. You are still doing so well. Don't let it become a habit, you'll make much faster progress without it. You want to avoid using those old synapses in your brain that are related to porn. You are halfway towards your goal, stay strong.

 

[igetum]

Thanks Mountainsummit. I have decided to be posting here about my progress as quickly as I can because I have realized doing so draws me away from the thoughts of M.

 

[igetum]

Well what can I say, I am on day 49 and I have experienced a lot. I feel I have gained a sense of direction, and developed some hope. My life does not appear as silent and complicated as it seemed and I do not have to worry about running up until late night doing some unmentionable stuff. I have had, like 2 to 3 p dreams of late but they are not affecting my life. MO urges seems to dissipate as time moves by, and i have not fallen to binge. I have to admit though that after my first MO in 45 days, more intense urges have come knocking at my door. Luckily I have turned them down.

 

[igetum]

Stumbling and falling do not mean that it is the end of the journey. It is just life testing our resilience, and ability to withstand pressures. When you see a friend falling, lift him up for they will be there for you when you are not stable. On my 55th day, I am still standing, and I want to encourage those in the journey with me to also keep walking. I believe I am the one to shape my future and destiny, and I have already begun. Fantastic weekend!

 

[igetum]

Day 51
One thing I have noticed, with this new mode of life is that there are so many areas in my life which I had just left unattended. There is the future to be planned for, there are dreams to be fulfilled, there are promises to be kept and there are investments to be made. It is like waking up from fantasy, and finding a more challenging but fulfilling, promising and satisfying real natural world. After all fairies and fantasies are all nothing but virtual things, a creation of the mind, and dwelling in them is not the wisest thing anyone should engage in.

 

[igetum]

On my quest to learn more, I just came across this online course which I had previously ignored "learning how to learn". Some things they teach there like how to deal with procrastination have so much in common with rewiring our brains. The course is provided by coursera. https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/

 

[thailandexpress2112]

Hello igetum,

Really good to see you are going ahead strong! I want you succeed for both your own sake and for mine. It's inspiring to me.

It seems like you are growing every day. Having the desire to search out and start to learn new things is a good sign. The withdrawals must be lessening now

 

[mtaha2015]

keep going igetum.
great achievement.
close to 2 months now.

 

[igetum]

Hi thailandexpress2112

Hello igetum,

Really good to see you are going ahead strong! I want you succeed for both your own sake and for mine. It's inspiring to me.

The withdrawals must be lessening now

I am very happy being an inspiration to some one, and thank you for wishing me a successful recovery. I tell you, you people have been a great source inspiration for me here. You may not know it but you have kept me afloat even when I was thinking "well today I may go back". The withdrawals have faded now and apart from a few strong urges and several brain fogs this week, I have been doing great. My social life is however not back to very normal but I am doing better.

 

[fanderson2]

Really inspiring thread! Keep up the awesome work. I've been through the withdrawal phase many a time and it is horrible, well done for being one strong getting things done! 

 

[thailandexpress2112]

@igetum

Great to hear the withdrawals have started to subside. I am quite serious about my current reboot and the next time (if there is one) that I am close to giving in I will think of your progress and that I can do it too!

As for the social life. One thing at a time. I can tell by the way you are writing that you are becoming more clear headed and confident as time goes on. Keep it up and the social life will come. I am pretty active socially but am feeling a need to withdraw from society a bit. This is because I want to cut back on partying and focus on bettering myself and finishing my masters. Drinking/being hungover is always the source of my relapses.

 

[igetum]

Day 57,
I am yet to understand why being alone lights so many urges. Is it because I was used PMO a lot when I was alone? I am going to do some searching on this one.

 

[mtaha2015]

igetum
stay this way. stay blessed. keep saying no to PMO.

wonderful progress.
just 1 day away from 2 months.
congrats.

use DEADS to tackle urges and cravings.

D= delay 15 minutes
E = Escape the situation
A= accept craving, it is natural , it comes and go.
D = dispute , if you indulge you will harm yourself, if won't indulge, you will be more stronger
S = Substitute , substitute with some kind of positive activity , sleep , walk , music and so on.