My wife reached seven months of sobriety. Inspired by her discipline, I decided to enact my own "Hands Off Myself" policy.
While I've been able to resist porn or actively searching for stimulating imagery, I've still been "going solo" when The Missus and I couldn't have sex (due to relative and/or "Monthly Friend" visits).
And as much as I hate to admit it, The "Spank Bank" memory Rol-a-Dex almost has the same effect as porn. It creates a fantasy scenario that can never actually be achieved. And regardless of where the imagery comes from, it still results in a dissociative relationship with reality.
So during my period of "Sobriety", I played close attention to what was going on in my head.
The first day or two, there was an inexplicable irritation. I chalk this up to being a mild form of withdrawal.
The next couple of days, I noticed an increase in the lust levels. And I found myself looking at members of the Fairer Sex with just enough lasciviousness to be off-putting, but not flat out creepy. During this phase, temptations were high. But inspired by my wife, I stuck to my guns (by not touching my pistol
).
And then...it stopped. No cravings. No lust. No irritation. Just...balance. In fact, I was worried something was wrong. So much time had been spent thinking about/worrying about/obsessing about sex that I wondered if my Libido packed up its things and moved to Sweden. But one kiss from the Missus got the Little Monk up and about. And I thought..."So
this is how it's suppossed to work! Feels good!"
I guess the point is that if you can make it past that first phase - whether it's a day, a week or a month - it's pretty much all down hill from there.
But in the meantime, if I may paraphrases The Georgia Satellites: "Don't you hand yourself lies and keep yo' hands to yo' self!"
