KennyPrester
Active Member
It's often been the same with me, honestly. And often centered around either 1. a girl I met, flirted with, or who flirted with me, or 2. a celebrity/actress.
I'd be turned on to the image, then go online to find images of her or resembling her. Then find porn stars resembling her, and the rest would be history.
I started to obsess on the way home from a business trip last weekend over a blonde who was sort of flirting with me, who may have thought I was sort of flirting with her when I was making conversation. But I stopped. I think she got pissed off when I didn't offer for her to sit with me.
But push comes to shove in two areas for me: 1. honesty in online searching, honesty with myself and my accountability partner; and 2. not allowing porn mind, porn "movies" that I produce, direct, cast, maybe even co-star in--not allowing these to play in my imagination.
So I get out my phone (not hooked up to internet, by choice, for now), use the calculator function, and figure out how many hours it's been since I've been freed from porn, since I last used.
And I think, I really don't want to mess that up. I want that number (a big number, since it's in hours) to get bigger and bigger. I want to be more and more FREE!
It also helps me to get very, very still, watch what my emotions are, ask myself what I really want, then pray for the woman whose image I was wanting to use. I suppose alternatively, you might imagine yourself wishing her a happy life, giving her a knuckle bomb, then yourself walking off into the sunset a hero, as the credits roll...
But yeah, the brain will latch onto very specific images, very innocent even, to get leverage for dopamine. I don't know how many times I've gone from children's films (with hot babes, maybe playing the mom or whatever) to soft core (with the same babes nude) to hard core and PMO. And often, just before O, I would switch back from hard core to the "legitimate" actress's pic. Especially if she is a redhead.
The brain leverages what it can leverage.
But we are more than our brains.
I'd be turned on to the image, then go online to find images of her or resembling her. Then find porn stars resembling her, and the rest would be history.
I started to obsess on the way home from a business trip last weekend over a blonde who was sort of flirting with me, who may have thought I was sort of flirting with her when I was making conversation. But I stopped. I think she got pissed off when I didn't offer for her to sit with me.
But push comes to shove in two areas for me: 1. honesty in online searching, honesty with myself and my accountability partner; and 2. not allowing porn mind, porn "movies" that I produce, direct, cast, maybe even co-star in--not allowing these to play in my imagination.
So I get out my phone (not hooked up to internet, by choice, for now), use the calculator function, and figure out how many hours it's been since I've been freed from porn, since I last used.
And I think, I really don't want to mess that up. I want that number (a big number, since it's in hours) to get bigger and bigger. I want to be more and more FREE!
It also helps me to get very, very still, watch what my emotions are, ask myself what I really want, then pray for the woman whose image I was wanting to use. I suppose alternatively, you might imagine yourself wishing her a happy life, giving her a knuckle bomb, then yourself walking off into the sunset a hero, as the credits roll...
But yeah, the brain will latch onto very specific images, very innocent even, to get leverage for dopamine. I don't know how many times I've gone from children's films (with hot babes, maybe playing the mom or whatever) to soft core (with the same babes nude) to hard core and PMO. And often, just before O, I would switch back from hard core to the "legitimate" actress's pic. Especially if she is a redhead.
The brain leverages what it can leverage.
But we are more than our brains.