Rock Bottom

Bango Skank

Bango Skank

Active Member
You seem to be beating up on yourself quite hard about it mate. Guilt I have found is painful and not terribly productive. Give yourself the respect you need to push forward and make a better future for yourself (and those around you).

I've got my own including why the fuck I didn't see this years ago. How PMO among other compulsions was keeping my marriage in a kind of drugged state and how different life might have been without it. I'm lucky to have what I have now, a large part through happy circumstance.

Don't berate yourself too much, your choices are half chance. So are everybody elses. - Mary Schmich.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Thanks again as always Bango. I need to remind myself of what this has cost me and forgive myself. I'm not the man I was when I started... I'll never be that man again. That fills me with both joy and hope.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Just hit a massive depression wall. I don't know what to think or feel right now. Haven't broken yet. Going to bed so I can behave myself.
 
W

Wolverine

Guest
Hay man

Good job two weeks! For me it was always the toughest time after two weeks, but it is a matter of proper mindset and daily routines, so remember to keep up wit your plan every single day, one day at the time.

Best of luck bro
 
PIED64

PIED64

Member
Hey Druid,

Congrats on the 2 weeks milestone!  I made it there just shy of a week ago myself.  I continue to have my moments as well, not so much thinking about P or MO, but just generally feeling down from time to time.  Life is already so much better than it was 20 days ago.  I totally relate, life is looking up, keep looking up.

Earlier on I kept thinking, how could I not have realized what was causing the problems I was having.  At this point I have moved forward from those thoughts.  At the moment and going forward I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize.

In reading through your journal I found many things I relate to.  Stay the course, stick to your plan, one day at a time like Wolverine said.  Remember to celebrate your victories along the way!
 
Bango Skank

Bango Skank

Active Member
Hey matey good work 2 weeks..! If you're anything like me it will start to get even better for you soon, fingers crossed. Seriously it's embracing the good things that will heal you more than rejecting the bad. Best wishes to you fella.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Been a few day. I'm still here and still strong. Been tested and proven my metal. I am tempered I am strong I am sharp.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Time for a real test... Girls night out for Raven... She's only been gone for a little while and I'm already feeling.... Not tempted but scared of becoming tempted... Gonna focus on my crafts and try not to notice that she's not here.... Just like a night at work... Goddess give me strength...
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Feeling really alone right now... I don't wanna say anything because I feel like I'm too needy. I don't wanna slip but I'm scared of pushing Raven away by holding her too tight.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
30 Fucking days!!!! Not slowing down!!!! Making some major life changed outside of this. I feel better than I have in years.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
I can't think of anything I've done I years that I'm more proud of. Sorry for your slip bro but your still here and still fighting that's what counts. I just made my own 30 day chip to carry around lol.
 
Lost Druid

Lost Druid

Member
Headed out of town to see my kids. It's hard to be away from home. I miss my Raven. Can't pass up the chance to see my boy though. Goddess give me strength
 
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