zaraki888
Active Member
*If you are gonna spend time reading my journal, please I highly recommend reading my article first ''How to make sure your porn filter is working effective''
To make sure there is no way to bypass the filter. Just scroll down on page 1. Warning there are triggers.*
Hello everyone, nice to meet you!
I am 28 years old and I am a porn addict :'(
Here?s my story, since I was perhaps 10 years old, I started watching porn when my parents got their first computer. Porn addiction is blocking my spiritual development! It even caused me into serious health problems.
As a kid I was already very horny and wanted to watch naked girls. I think I was 5 or 6 years old when I first draw a girl giving head to a men in my parents photograph album! I still don't understand how at such a young age I knew something like that. It must be reincarnation Anyway I know one of my biggest life lessons is to learn to love myself and stop this crazy habit!
I started watching naked women in magazines when I was 9 years old. My parents had these kind of magazines for their company. After that, I started masturbating when I saw a friend doing it. This dude really has no shame at al I guess...Anyway after I saw that, I started doing it myself and I felt really bad afterwards. So I started with masturbation only. Before the age of 12 I already had my first cum. Then when my first computer came, I started watching porn and that?s where my addiction got worse! PMO everyday!
Although I never went to hardcore porn because I was only interested in the female body. Up till now I still only watch female bodies.
I never have problems with ED. My biggest problem is my anxious for women, low self esteem and things like that! It just destroyed my whole sense of who I am. I even don?t know how to communicate with women anymore. There were several women in my life who could have been my girlfriend I think, If I wasn?t addicted to porn. Even a very hot women when I was 18 liked me.... but I was too afraid of rejection and porn also causes me to think how a women should look like. I was blinded by illusions. Several girls asked me if I go to a disco but I never understood it could mean something. Danced with women but never got the guts to go further.
At the age of 19 I became very sick. I had a brain tumor and my anxiety became even worse. It took me years to recover until now. Unfortunate after my recovery I started watching porn again! I wanted to stop watching porn and I thought back then that the only way to stop watching porn,.... was to watch porn and say no to the screen! Every time I failed because the urge to PMO was too great.
Now most of the time I watch PMO or MO once or twice a week. My longest run was 18 days PMO free with wet dreams.
What I learned so far
I found out the very first step to stop PMO is blocking video?s!, putting a good porn filter on the pc , mobile phone, tablets and finding someone who is going to resend the password when needed. I also use www.lettermelater.com to send the password into the future. I use k9 web protector and Qustodio together, both are free.
I went to youtube for PMO so I had to block youtube too and facebook, google like most search engines because of images and so on. I am only able to watch PMO when I visit my family...
Diet change might help I believe. But before I am able to cure myself, I cannot say much about it I guess.
Meditation also could help I believe but I have no discipline to do that everyday :-[
I know I really need help my friends. I must stop and it?s time to get real if you know what I mean 8) Thank you very much for reading!
To make sure there is no way to bypass the filter. Just scroll down on page 1. Warning there are triggers.*
Hello everyone, nice to meet you!
I am 28 years old and I am a porn addict :'(
Here?s my story, since I was perhaps 10 years old, I started watching porn when my parents got their first computer. Porn addiction is blocking my spiritual development! It even caused me into serious health problems.
As a kid I was already very horny and wanted to watch naked girls. I think I was 5 or 6 years old when I first draw a girl giving head to a men in my parents photograph album! I still don't understand how at such a young age I knew something like that. It must be reincarnation Anyway I know one of my biggest life lessons is to learn to love myself and stop this crazy habit!
I started watching naked women in magazines when I was 9 years old. My parents had these kind of magazines for their company. After that, I started masturbating when I saw a friend doing it. This dude really has no shame at al I guess...Anyway after I saw that, I started doing it myself and I felt really bad afterwards. So I started with masturbation only. Before the age of 12 I already had my first cum. Then when my first computer came, I started watching porn and that?s where my addiction got worse! PMO everyday!
Although I never went to hardcore porn because I was only interested in the female body. Up till now I still only watch female bodies.
I never have problems with ED. My biggest problem is my anxious for women, low self esteem and things like that! It just destroyed my whole sense of who I am. I even don?t know how to communicate with women anymore. There were several women in my life who could have been my girlfriend I think, If I wasn?t addicted to porn. Even a very hot women when I was 18 liked me.... but I was too afraid of rejection and porn also causes me to think how a women should look like. I was blinded by illusions. Several girls asked me if I go to a disco but I never understood it could mean something. Danced with women but never got the guts to go further.
At the age of 19 I became very sick. I had a brain tumor and my anxiety became even worse. It took me years to recover until now. Unfortunate after my recovery I started watching porn again! I wanted to stop watching porn and I thought back then that the only way to stop watching porn,.... was to watch porn and say no to the screen! Every time I failed because the urge to PMO was too great.
Now most of the time I watch PMO or MO once or twice a week. My longest run was 18 days PMO free with wet dreams.
What I learned so far
I found out the very first step to stop PMO is blocking video?s!, putting a good porn filter on the pc , mobile phone, tablets and finding someone who is going to resend the password when needed. I also use www.lettermelater.com to send the password into the future. I use k9 web protector and Qustodio together, both are free.
I went to youtube for PMO so I had to block youtube too and facebook, google like most search engines because of images and so on. I am only able to watch PMO when I visit my family...
Diet change might help I believe. But before I am able to cure myself, I cannot say much about it I guess.
Meditation also could help I believe but I have no discipline to do that everyday :-[
I know I really need help my friends. I must stop and it?s time to get real if you know what I mean 8) Thank you very much for reading!