Hey!
First of all, thank you for taking the time to give me your support. I appreciate how thoughtful you are with your questions; you are very perceptive! Now, on to your journal
What have you learned about nutrition?
Speaking from experience, if your goal is to start working out, don't worry about the intricacies of everything associated with fitness. Nutrition is a fundamental part of the equation but all you need to understand are
macros,
caloric deficit/surplus, and a few
supplements (omega-3 fish oil, multivitamin, [I was borderline anemic when I was younger so I take a 25mg iron as well]).
What's important when first starting is consistency. Do everything in your power to set yourself up for success, and that means planning. You will have cravings, so find a few snacks that you enjoy, and perhaps some meals that remind you of childhood; you can still eat unhealthy foods as long as they are in moderation. I'm at the point where I don't even consider foods healthy/unhealthy anymore (unless there are saturated fats, high amounts of sugar). All I see are macros. It's just as easy to overeat "healthy" food as it is to get fat from "unhealthy" food. Understand what your goal is and use a macro calculator to figure out what your target points are. Once you know, try weighing/measuring everything you eat for at least one day to get a sense of how much you have a habit of eating. Very few athletes measure what they eat every single day, but all of them have the ability to estimate approximately what they are putting in their bodies (in terms of macros).
*Quick tip, if your goal is to lose weight, I would recommend eating most of your carbs of the day before and after your workouts.*
When I first started taking nutrition/exercise seriously, I was quite motivated. I had spent the last 5 years wishing I looked a certain way and I wanted to start making it a reality. I remember being so fed up with living with my bipolar sister, too. I felt like I was suffocating in a cloud of negative energy, surrounded by people with terrible eating habits. So I decided, enough was enough, I'm going to fight this negativity and do something constructive. I didn't want to wait till I was out of the house to start living life the way I wanted to. Sure, nutrition would be a lot easier if I had my own kitchen, fridge, and pantry where I could organize everything just the way I wanted. But, nothing will ever be perfect during your struggle with fitness. There will always be challenges whether it's an injury, illness, family issues, work/school overload, etc... You just have to keep fighting.
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I was upset, crying the other day because I listened to half an audio recording of a Twitch streamer beating his girlfriend. I just thought, "How could anyone do that." So, I cut off the audio, called my mom up immediately and told her I love her, lol. But this is the type of thing that gets me. See, I can't remember if I posted this before or not, but my auntie used to be a victim of spousal verbal abuse (at the least, thankfully he seems to have changed drastically over the years), and I could never wrap my mind around this -- that people abusively harm those they profess to love, and yet, there are genuinely good people who die alone due to, possibly, trivial reasons.
Well said at the end there. I'm with you on this. It may not have been verbal abuse, but my parents fought constantly when I was younger. I remember my elementary school teachers asking me if my parents loved each other and I just sat there, completely speechless. To this day, I'm not sure that I will ever marry. If I did, I would likely wait till I'm in my thirties and that have spent enough time with the person to know that they are adept at resolving conflicts in a healthy manner. See, my parents got married young, too young in my opinion (22/23?), and I don't think they ever experienced any real trials beforehand. Thus, when financial struggles came around, when there were 3 kids to take care of, things just exploded. They claimed to love each other, but rarely embraced each other or apologized. I have a pretty strange perception of marriage now, and I'm always amazed when I meet couples who seem genuinely happy. I'm glad your auntie's husband made drastic improvements, it must have been very difficult to witness when he was not doing well.
**Uh, ew...**
I don't know. I guess I just feel skeptical in my ability to move forward, still. It's honestly gotten to the point where I may seek a therapist of some sort. Ever since the whole emotional ordeal with that one girl, I've had zero motivation to do anything and that was like, 1 1/2 months ago.
I think I mentioned that I have a therapist in that one emotional breakdown about acne that I posted a while ago. We?ve worked together, on and off, for two and a half years. It?s not always easy to meet with her, and I?m not always happy to have gone. But, she challenges me to open up and we go in-depth about why I might be feeling a certain way. Last week we talked about my sister, and why I am upset that my father watches porn on the TV so often. It was definitely a difficult session because I hadn?t spoke to anyone about my father?s affliction even though it has affected me for many years.
I believe everyone should have a therapist. If you choose to go forward with finding one, my advice is to let go of any expectations you might have of therapy. The truth is, therapists cannot
make you feel more motivated, they can only help you reach a point where you feel comfortable moving forward. I believe they do that by mitigating some of the weight of emotional trauma.
Honestly, it sounds like you?re doing pretty well! I respect that you feel like ?something?s missing,? but just keep being grateful for those necessities and slowly build on all the extra stuff you?d like to do.
Great to hear from you!
-Blue
