IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Heyooooo!
Been feeling a real drive and zest for life lately. Gotta keep this feeling up!
Been feeling a real drive and zest for life lately. Gotta keep this feeling up!
"Adversity is the diamond dust with which heaven polishes its jewels"
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Hey guys, I fell down in a pretty big way. About a week ago, I was totally clean. I guess I just let life treat me like crap because I was turned down for the promotion, etc. I don't know why it sent me back to my old ways. I guess just because I was thinking, "No one really cares about me or needs me." Yeah, that's the thought that really hit me the hardest, I think... So I wound up binging on a bunch of useless crap, the whole 9 yards. I'm really disappointed in myself, but no better time to pick yourself back up and try again, right?
I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm only trying to get away from the stuff to either appease my conscience or maybe just to prove something. To be honest, I feel like I'm regressed back to square -1. AND I KNOW that isn't the case, I think the fact that I'm coming here after the fact is proof of that, but still. That's okay, baby, LETS DO THIS. :
;D
Round 3
FIGHT!
I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm only trying to get away from the stuff to either appease my conscience or maybe just to prove something. To be honest, I feel like I'm regressed back to square -1. AND I KNOW that isn't the case, I think the fact that I'm coming here after the fact is proof of that, but still. That's okay, baby, LETS DO THIS. :
;DRound 3
FIGHT!
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Im back on the bus! I'm gonna try to post more frequently.
LeirTheFox
Active Member
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem said:
Hey man,
I had a similar problem with staying commited. Try to give us more detail of your everyday experience.
Make your commitment here to be as helpful as you can!
Stay strong. We're up here for you!
Cheers,
L.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Feels good to be back on track! Just posting for the sake of posting.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Okay, two weeks isnt awful. The complete PMO package is easier for me to avoid these days, but I find myself slipping on the first tick -- the watching. There's a very specific trigger I have that has to do with a poisonous cocktail between my living circumstances, and remorse. I think if I can hold my head high, I might really be onto something this time. I keep saying, "I'm regressing, woe is me" but I think that falling down a lot just means you'll have stronger leg muscles from getting back up
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Curiosity killed the cat -----
True sentence! Doesn't have to be
True sentence! Doesn't have to be
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Yesterday was sort of a pull back for me; but today is a new day so Im excited about that.
Today I got a lot done before noon. I learned how to play the Song Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette last week. Also been learning a TON of chess. What a hard game. The youtube channel I learn from the most is Mato Jelic. Funny guy
Today I got a lot done before noon. I learned how to play the Song Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette last week. Also been learning a TON of chess. What a hard game. The youtube channel I learn from the most is Mato Jelic. Funny guy
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
I got dis. Ive been playing a nice little text game recently. Besides that, getting my mind right. Had to post just to post
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
I went to a convention this weekend that proved to be extremely motivational for me. It was a reset button for me. Let's do this.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Feel pretty good about myself. Im at a point where I feel a lot more emotions, mostly bad, some good lol. Either way, I'm posting here to check in and see my progress on the little green bar.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Hey guys! Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Day 25 completely P free. I've been doing hard mode. No touching, no images, etc. I can make it to day 5 consistently without messing myself; I am on day 5, LETS KICK IT UP A NOTCH.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Day 30!!!
I'm easily a month clean. I have a piece of advice for people struggling with pmo; for me this helps greatly: Once I stopped the M, M was not even an option, then the P and O just flew out the window as being options. Hard mode is the way to go imo.
I'm easily a month clean. I have a piece of advice for people struggling with pmo; for me this helps greatly: Once I stopped the M, M was not even an option, then the P and O just flew out the window as being options. Hard mode is the way to go imo.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Day 36:
Pretty good still!
Pretty good still!
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
55 Days no P...
That's a good amount! Not good enough for me! Let's keep it moving, boys.
That's a good amount! Not good enough for me! Let's keep it moving, boys.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
So, day 57
I accidentally saw something today, NOTHING TOO BAD, but I was disappointed in myself. It was an accident, I know, but still........ its like, day 57! It feels like accidents shouldn't happen, but some things are not completely under your control. My regret is that I didn't leave for work sooner so that I could have avoided it.
Note to self: STOP GOING BACK TO TWITTER. I already deleted instagram for a similar reason, and snapchat was no good either. I don't think it was enough exposure to do anything to me, but it still feels disgusting because I didn't leave on a dime-notice. Automatic response should be that RED X in the corner of the browser! DO IT NEXT TIME.
I accidentally saw something today, NOTHING TOO BAD, but I was disappointed in myself. It was an accident, I know, but still........ its like, day 57! It feels like accidents shouldn't happen, but some things are not completely under your control. My regret is that I didn't leave for work sooner so that I could have avoided it.
Note to self: STOP GOING BACK TO TWITTER. I already deleted instagram for a similar reason, and snapchat was no good either. I don't think it was enough exposure to do anything to me, but it still feels disgusting because I didn't leave on a dime-notice. Automatic response should be that RED X in the corner of the browser! DO IT NEXT TIME.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Close friend of mine is getting married to the girl I used to have a thing for, this happened to me twice in a row because of circumstances..... long story. Basically, Im doing fine on day 65, and seeing a therapist to help me sort some things out.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Wow! Day 75. I can't believe it's been that long since I've posted here.
Therapy is pretty good. I didnt realize how bad of a mind-state I was in, and largely still am. But things are looking up! Hard mode lasts roughly anywhere from 1-7 days. Passing a week is realllly tough on hard mode, but I think I notice slight differences in my behavior. Axing the P was the biggest thing, that made a gigantic difference. MO is another story. I heard you don't feel the effects of NoFap until day 90 Hard Mode... that seems nearly impossible. But I'm still trying. You keep trying too.
For anyone still reading my journal, take courage and wear it as armor.
Therapy is pretty good. I didnt realize how bad of a mind-state I was in, and largely still am. But things are looking up! Hard mode lasts roughly anywhere from 1-7 days. Passing a week is realllly tough on hard mode, but I think I notice slight differences in my behavior. Axing the P was the biggest thing, that made a gigantic difference. MO is another story. I heard you don't feel the effects of NoFap until day 90 Hard Mode... that seems nearly impossible. But I'm still trying. You keep trying too.
For anyone still reading my journal, take courage and wear it as armor.
IAdmitItIHaveAProblem
Active Member
Day 82~
Almost at the 90 day mark! Hard mode still is difficult, and honestly, sometimes it's too much and I get really down in the dumps. But I know that I'm trying to make changes, no matter how slow they're coming along.
Almost at the 90 day mark! Hard mode still is difficult, and honestly, sometimes it's too much and I get really down in the dumps. But I know that I'm trying to make changes, no matter how slow they're coming along.