Whammy raised to the power whammy - The beginning of the Journey

C

CB

Active Member
Congrats on your 20 days free, that?s great almost a month now! Keep going.

As of the viagra, it is not good to depend on them, be careful and use them once in a while. Remember to try having sex without the pills as well. It?s really hard with the PIED, but it will slowly fade. But I absolutely understand your decision.

Keep going! You?re doing great!
 
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akpal2

Well-Known Member
thanks Phineas and CB. Yes, I have to be careful moving forward. I feel great that tomorrow I will have 3 weeks under my belt (no pun intended) with some small slip ups like a bit of edging and sexting but no PMO. Overall if i include last 6 weeks then there is definitely progress.

A more positive way to look at it would be that in the last 42 days I have had only 3 days of of M and that was only to touch no thoughts or P used. I have had 3 other days where I had sexted/edged. So a very optimistic way to look at it would be to see that out of last 42 fays 36 have been hard mode :p.
 
Aussie_85

Aussie_85

Active Member
Hey AK:

Congrats on 3 weeks bro well done!  8) ;D :-*

That is a positive way to look at it for sure - just try not to edge, peek or sext...don't give yourself the "well if I don't PMO it's all good" mental hall pass.

your going awesome man keep it up (no pun).
 
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akpal2

Well-Known Member
Aussie_85 said:
Hey AK:

Congrats on 3 weeks bro well done!  8) ;D :-*

That is a positive way to look at it for sure - just try not to edge, peek or sext...don't give yourself the "well if I don't PMO it's all good" mental hall pass.

your going awesome man keep it up (no pun).
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Thanks Aussie, that is the challenge going forward and my intention. Not to ever look at porn in the future, EVER, and neither to sext or edge. I know its a tall order but that is the plan. I want to be done with this shit forever.
 
Aussie_85

Aussie_85

Active Member
Good mindset bro,

I think sometimes, for myself - getting so caught up in the whole thing, using porn, using the forum, constantly thinking about rebooting - it's mentally taxing. It would be so freeing to just live and not have to think about this shit - which is possible with effort and sacrifice.

 
C

CB

Active Member
You are doing great! 3 weeks, almost a month. That is a big step!
You will succeed, just think about all those bad consequences it gives you. It?s tough to be caught up in all this, and we are by ourselves the only ones responsible for our outcome, it is really tough. But having others in the same boat makes it a little less difficult.
Keep on going and try as hard as you can to stay away from triggers. I try thinking about the consequences everytime I?m about to give in just a little.

 
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akpal2

Well-Known Member
Day 22, had sex with wife a few hours ago. It was lousy but it was also pretty good Lol. It was lousy because thanks to PIED my erection was really good in the beginning but lost once I noticed i was able to penetrate her but there was no lube that I had put on. So it was going well and it fizzled out by the time I got lube and then it was lots of cuddling after that and it looked like it wouldn't go any further. Of course, i had made up my mind that I would not be using any P thoughts to get hard and I didn't. After a number of failures I tried one last time and managed to get it in. I thought i would lose the erection because it was pretty weak. I didn't lose it. There was a definite urge to think of P so i can get hard but I fought it and made up my mind to only have orgasm with the feeling, and no P thoughts. When I was thinking of this suddenly a HUGE orgasm built up just to the feeling and since I was O'ing after 3 weeks, it was very very good. I personally think it was a good step in rewiring although my attempts were pathetic in the middle.

So I found it quite encouraging. Now, doing away with P and sticking to the current thought process of rewiring.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hey, I would definitely count that as a win between your wife and you, and toward your reboot.

Sometimes it's like that, not necessarily a straight line, but somehow we get there anyway, right?

Good job on the rewiring, and without having to use P-thoughts!

 
A

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Day 23: Woke up with morning wood today which felt weird because i have been having nocturnal erections or mw lately every single day. However, soon after I woke up I got a pretty solid morning wood which actually stuck around for 20-30 seconds when I stood up. This is definite progress. I can't remember when was the last time I had mw that lasted a half minute after I stood up.
 
A

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Day 24: extreme urges thanks to chaser effect.


Ok, so yesterday I had sex again, this time with viagra. the session went so long that I was getting exhausted and unable to come. My thoughts started veering towards porn. I had to fight hard to stay away from them but a couple of thoughts did creep in. On the positive side, Viagra seems to be working. Although the chaser effect today was so severe that I resorted to watching some nude pics before I could gain any control over myself. The urges were that strong. I am pissed with myself for watching the nude pics. Also the pics didn't excite me as much as previous times so maybe the brain wiring to pics and sexting has weakened, but I could tell that if I resorted to more sexting and pics, the wiring would have been reactivated to porn. Which would be disaster
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Careful, this can be a slippery slope.

I stopped having sex for 100 days a few months ago, and it was a good thing, because it somehow broke the patterns I have towards sex and arousal in general. It?s not easy to do that in a relationship, that?s why I stopped after 100 days. But I?m glad I did it, it made me stop looking for a greater level of arousal all the time, be it in sex or on my own. We have to learn to go with the flow when we have sex (and before having sex as well, when we?re around our girlfriends and things get hot). Curing PIED, in my opinion, is not only about gaining the ability to have better erections: it?s also about learning to have sex in a healthy way. Easier said than done. But if we could just stop forcing our arousal, and lower our expectations in terms of sex, I believe it would be a huge step forward. We?ll probably never find in sex the same level of arousal we had when we were edging to porn for hours with ten tabs opened. We should just go with the flow when we have sex, and stop being in our heads.
 
A

akpal2

Well-Known Member
Bilbo Baggins said:
Careful, this can be a slippery slope.

I stopped having sex for 100 days a few months ago, and it was a good thing, because it somehow broke the patterns I have towards sex and arousal in general. It?s not easy to do that in a relationship, that?s why I stopped after 100 days. But I?m glad I did it, it made me stop looking for a greater level of arousal all the time, be it in sex or on my own. We have to learn to go with the flow when we have sex (and before having sex as well, when we?re around our girlfriends and things get hot). Curing PIED, in my opinion, is not only about gaining the ability to have better erections: it?s also about learning to have sex in a healthy way. Easier said than done. But if we could just stop forcing our arousal, and lower our expectations in terms of sex, I believe it would be a huge step forward. We?ll probably never find in sex the same level of arousal we had when we were edging to porn for hours with ten tabs opened. We should just go with the flow when we have sex, and stop being in our heads.
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Thanks for posting Bilbo. One of the first things that came to my mind this morning was your earlier post about Viagra, and you were very right. I looked at some other videos and pics after my last post and was finding it very hard to control. One of the things that did manage to break my reverie were your words in the previous post about how Viagra can be dangerous in terms of making it harder for me to quit. I didn't understand that then, but do understand now what you meant. Unfortunately it's very difficult to stay away from sex if you're married. Telling wife is not an option, unfortunately. However, you're right, we'll probably never get the same highs as we did watching porn. Currently I am working hard to make sure this doesn't become a binge. I have looked at some short clips and edged a little but have managed to stop myself for now.

Continuing my reboot for now and hoping that the chaser effects won't pull back and I will be healed in time.

Bilbo, one.other thing. I can't stop now but I will have the opportunity a few months later to completely abstain from sex. My wife wants another baby and once she is well into her pregnancy we will stop having sex. So that will be my chance to go without sex for a while.
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Good luck, I hope you can go through the next days without facing too many urges.

At least now you know what it is to use Viagra. You?ll be more prepared next time, if you use it again. I personally only use it once in a while now, on special nights. Other than that, I try to just be in the moment and go with the flow, without thinking of my erection. If I lose it, it will probably come back with a little help from my girlfriend, or I can still give her oral. It?s probably the best way to recover.

As you said, when she?s pregnant, it will be a good timing for you to go hard mode. When it happens, just never think of sex, it can?t hurt to give your brain a break.

Keep it up, man.
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Things have improved in the province, but we still have a curfew in Montreal. Can?t go out after 8pm. But I can?t complain, I have a good job and I like solitude. But still, we?re all looking forward to things returning to normal. Hope these times aren?t too hard for you, friend.
 
Chris Oz

Chris Oz

Well-Known Member
Take it slow akpal and you'd be alright. Now might be the best time to read up on Motivational materials in relations to porn to keep you motivated and for you to remember your why.
 
zaraki888

zaraki888

Active Member
Hello akpal2,

Stay strong! If you stop having sex with your wife, I encourage you to already prepare yourself with good habits. I don't have sex and still this addiction is so hard to beat.

In reboot we must abstain from watching porn, any substitute which could fire the dopamine. With every peek (if dopamine gets fired) we have to reset our streak.

I'm sure you know but just in case you don't know I quote:

''The ?layers? of addicting Delta Fos-B which built up in your brain due to repeated Dopamine overdosing are starting to disintegrate. Your brain is it essentially re-wiring itself to function with normal levels of Dopamine.''

''28 days without any porn or masturbation is when about 50% of men start feeling the initial porn addiction withdrawals start to go away.''

Source:
https://husbandhelphaven.com/porn-addiction-withdrawal-walkthrough/

With every peek, these Delta Fos-B built up back again I believe and we push our salvation further down the road.

take care

 
A

akpal2

Well-Known Member
zaraki888 said:
Hello akpal2,

Stay strong! If you stop having sex with your wife, I encourage you to already prepare yourself with good habits. I don't have sex and still this addiction is so hard to beat.

In reboot we must abstain from watching porn, any substitute which could fire the dopamine. With every peek (if dopamine gets fired) we have to reset our streak.

I'm sure you know but just in case you don't know I quote:

''The ?layers? of addicting Delta Fos-B which built up in your brain due to repeated Dopamine overdosing are starting to disintegrate. Your brain is it essentially re-wiring itself to function with normal levels of Dopamine.''

''28 days without any porn or masturbation is when about 50% of men start feeling the initial porn addiction withdrawals start to go away.''

Source:
https://husbandhelphaven.com/porn-addiction-withdrawal-walkthrough/

With every peek, these Delta Fos-B built up back again I believe and we push our salvation further down the road.

take care
Click to expand...

Thanks zaraki, unfortunately the 2 second rule we talked about, I couldn't control myself in that. While i didn't binge like I may have previously but it was definitely a slip up. I will be trying to be more mindful going forward.

Day 25: So far so good except a whatsapp trigger that came through and i quickly deleted.
 
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