Loving_Mary
Active Member
1994, I was 14. Very excited to have my new computer. I think it was a 386. One of the first words I looked up on the internet was ?sex?.
The first images that I saw were girls in bikinis and such. I couldn?t suspect that that curiosity would lead me to a life time addiction.
I?m starting this diary in December 2015, I?m 35.
I don?t regret myself. I was just a kid. Would I have known the consequences of that search, I don?t know if I would have done it or not, but at least I would have made an informed decision.
I would like to coach people out of porn, but first I want to quit myself. That way, it will be an honest help.
At school I was informed about drugs. But nobody told me about porn. I don?t regret them, they didn?t know either.
I think that we have more tools to quit porn than in those days, but I also think that we are just beginning to learn how to leave porn. I feel that there must be an easier and more effective way than today?s ?common trend?.
But I am grateful that this Community exists. I?m sure it will help me. And I?m sure that I will help other people too, cause wright now I?m much better than some years ago. I could help people who are more addicted than me, people who still haven?t had the experience of partial recovery.
I started to recover when I stopped going down, down, down. I thought I reached the bottom several times but I didn?t. But one day, it was for real: I started to recover.
Going back to the 90?s, when did I realize that I had a ?problem?? It was in 1997, I was 17, three years after I started. I usually watched porn. It was a major habit, but it was that particular day I realized I was screwed.
I ?went to sleep? at 10 or 11 and when I stopped it was like 6 or 7 in the morning. 8 hours straight. All night.
?I have a problem.? I told to myself.
I still had my street clothes on from the day before and it was late cause I had class at 8, so I headed my bathroom and washed my face.
I?m glad I realized. That way I could start to recover. But I didn?t realize that I could recover at that particular moment.
The first time I did something actually effective to recover from this addiction was in 2007 or so.
I went to a psiquiatrist.
That same year I bought a book called ?PGO Porn Game Over? I don?t recall the author. It was a pdf file I bought from this author?s website.
It taught me some basic steps to recovery but the most important thing I learned was that I was not alone; there were many people like me, starting with the author itself, who had already recovered from porn.
The sessions with the psychiatrist helped me cause he gave me some advice and prescribed me with some pills. It was good. I took them for over 2 years. I believe it?s important to be monitored by a professional when it comes to pills, some of them are dangerously addictive.
One of the main things I learned from this psychiatrist is that I suffered from insomnia. It?s a major problem and I believe it made my addiction worse.
Once I was able to sleep 8 hours a day, that was lifechanging.
Where I am at know, 8 years later? I feel much better, I don?t crave porn so much, but I still use it.
Focus Me Software is helping me, but I?m using it gradually.
I don?t believe in cold turkey. I?ve tried it many times but I couldn?t stand the pain.
I?m doing things that I enjoy. There?s life out of porn and it?s great.
I guess that if other people have quitted I will too.
The first images that I saw were girls in bikinis and such. I couldn?t suspect that that curiosity would lead me to a life time addiction.
I?m starting this diary in December 2015, I?m 35.
I don?t regret myself. I was just a kid. Would I have known the consequences of that search, I don?t know if I would have done it or not, but at least I would have made an informed decision.
I would like to coach people out of porn, but first I want to quit myself. That way, it will be an honest help.
At school I was informed about drugs. But nobody told me about porn. I don?t regret them, they didn?t know either.
I think that we have more tools to quit porn than in those days, but I also think that we are just beginning to learn how to leave porn. I feel that there must be an easier and more effective way than today?s ?common trend?.
But I am grateful that this Community exists. I?m sure it will help me. And I?m sure that I will help other people too, cause wright now I?m much better than some years ago. I could help people who are more addicted than me, people who still haven?t had the experience of partial recovery.
I started to recover when I stopped going down, down, down. I thought I reached the bottom several times but I didn?t. But one day, it was for real: I started to recover.
Going back to the 90?s, when did I realize that I had a ?problem?? It was in 1997, I was 17, three years after I started. I usually watched porn. It was a major habit, but it was that particular day I realized I was screwed.
I ?went to sleep? at 10 or 11 and when I stopped it was like 6 or 7 in the morning. 8 hours straight. All night.
?I have a problem.? I told to myself.
I still had my street clothes on from the day before and it was late cause I had class at 8, so I headed my bathroom and washed my face.
I?m glad I realized. That way I could start to recover. But I didn?t realize that I could recover at that particular moment.
The first time I did something actually effective to recover from this addiction was in 2007 or so.
I went to a psiquiatrist.
That same year I bought a book called ?PGO Porn Game Over? I don?t recall the author. It was a pdf file I bought from this author?s website.
It taught me some basic steps to recovery but the most important thing I learned was that I was not alone; there were many people like me, starting with the author itself, who had already recovered from porn.
The sessions with the psychiatrist helped me cause he gave me some advice and prescribed me with some pills. It was good. I took them for over 2 years. I believe it?s important to be monitored by a professional when it comes to pills, some of them are dangerously addictive.
One of the main things I learned from this psychiatrist is that I suffered from insomnia. It?s a major problem and I believe it made my addiction worse.
Once I was able to sleep 8 hours a day, that was lifechanging.
Where I am at know, 8 years later? I feel much better, I don?t crave porn so much, but I still use it.
Focus Me Software is helping me, but I?m using it gradually.
I don?t believe in cold turkey. I?ve tried it many times but I couldn?t stand the pain.
I?m doing things that I enjoy. There?s life out of porn and it?s great.
I guess that if other people have quitted I will too.