Objectified1
Active Member
Malando, thanks for the response to my post. I really enjoyed what you had to say and I think
You said it well. You are not one I was referring to. I wasn't really referring to anyone in particular.... Just the overall atmosphere/ content of most journals and posts I see. I had to think about what you said a bit. Angry.... Hmmm.... I am not in a general state of anger if that's what you mean. I still have anger that it happened, sure, and I don't see me ever NOT having anger about it. I feel that's normal. As long as my anger isn't harmful or hateful. I think it is perfectly normal and ok to be angry about some things. As far as my anger being a negative thing. I do still have days/moments when I am angry in a not so good way with my husband. They are way fewer then they used to be and my anger is a lot more manageable now. It's not out of control. I can be thankful that my husband stopped viewing porn as soon as I really found out (once he actually admitted it) but he never stopped fantasizing about others. He stopped each thing once I knew about it. I guess me knowing seemed to give him the ability to stop. I am quite angry still I have to say.... I don't even know how to get rid of the anger or like I said, if I ever will. This will always have an effect on me. Always. I think I subconsciously stuff my feelings/ brush them aside. I don't even reqlize I do this. Not till i start to talk/write about it, which in turn forces me to think about it. Once I start thinking deeply or for any time period on the topic, all those feelings start to reappear. I am somewhat better at handling them now. I am surprised that they keep Popping back up with almost as much intensity as at the start. Maybe sometimes I just need a break so I avoid it. I avoid here, I avoid thinking about it as best I can and I avoid talking about it with hubby or anyone, which he seems ever happy about. If he was smart he wouldn't be though. Stuffing feelings just makes them come out elsewhere. Anyway, I hope you stay away from it for good.
You said it well. You are not one I was referring to. I wasn't really referring to anyone in particular.... Just the overall atmosphere/ content of most journals and posts I see. I had to think about what you said a bit. Angry.... Hmmm.... I am not in a general state of anger if that's what you mean. I still have anger that it happened, sure, and I don't see me ever NOT having anger about it. I feel that's normal. As long as my anger isn't harmful or hateful. I think it is perfectly normal and ok to be angry about some things. As far as my anger being a negative thing. I do still have days/moments when I am angry in a not so good way with my husband. They are way fewer then they used to be and my anger is a lot more manageable now. It's not out of control. I can be thankful that my husband stopped viewing porn as soon as I really found out (once he actually admitted it) but he never stopped fantasizing about others. He stopped each thing once I knew about it. I guess me knowing seemed to give him the ability to stop. I am quite angry still I have to say.... I don't even know how to get rid of the anger or like I said, if I ever will. This will always have an effect on me. Always. I think I subconsciously stuff my feelings/ brush them aside. I don't even reqlize I do this. Not till i start to talk/write about it, which in turn forces me to think about it. Once I start thinking deeply or for any time period on the topic, all those feelings start to reappear. I am somewhat better at handling them now. I am surprised that they keep Popping back up with almost as much intensity as at the start. Maybe sometimes I just need a break so I avoid it. I avoid here, I avoid thinking about it as best I can and I avoid talking about it with hubby or anyone, which he seems ever happy about. If he was smart he wouldn't be though. Stuffing feelings just makes them come out elsewhere. Anyway, I hope you stay away from it for good.