vigilantwarrior
Active Member
PeaceOfMind062012 said:I find that so often when there's something in our minds or our lives that we don't like, we tend to focus on it almost saying "if I think about this, or fight this enough I'll win, and it'll go away". But I find more often then not what happen's instead is that we just strengthen the thing that we're 'fighting' and it wins anyway (we might give in to cravings of PMO if we've been heavily resisting them for the past hour and a half or however long).
So something to try is just try shifting your thinking to some other thing - put your headphones on and put on some calming music (or whatever is good for your mood, but preferably not loud, energetic, macho, violent music). And maybe read a book, or chat with a friend online, or on the phone, or draw or paint, or take out a pen and write in your journal etc. Just something to shift your focus away from resisting this thing. I find that technique helps me
Peace, I completely agree. That whole thought avoidance thing is self-destructive. I agree, some sort of distraction or outlet is much healthier. It helps so far and I hope it helps when my cravings ramp up :-\
LeirTheFox said:Just a quick insight on your reactions to the girl. What do you mean, objetification? I think, as long as you're being genuine with your desire for a real person (i.e.: 'this girl is so attractive, i love how she walks, how X her hair is, how X her body is, etc) is fine. I'd be more careful if your 'objetification' resulted on some dirty reaction, like the thoughts we have when watching porn. Regardless, you dealt with it really well ? to not ponder and let it go is the best strategy.
On willpower subject: the guys who used to boulder-climb for a long time said the same stuff. They're always telling that "we're far more capable than what our minds conceive of ourselves". Good to read a specialist's take on the subject. Thanks for sharing the excerpt!
Hey L. Yeah.... I mean, she was cute. But she wasn't exactly facing my direction at that moment if you know what I mean. I'm not sure where to proceed with that, I just know if I'm not careful about what I look at, then my mind will just say, you know what else you can look at? For hours and hours and hours... so yeah, you're right; just gotta be careful. Man idk the balance.
Oh and I dig the boulder-climber thoughts, it's dope when some of what we've learned syncs up
Day 10 - Double Digits
Getting Current
Honestly I'm gonna keep it short. Today was my counseling day so I spent a lot more time with recovery work. I had an awesome run in the nice sun and high 60's and felt great all day.
Learning & Expanding
I actually started writing what my Group calls a "First Step". It's kind of like a sexual history and helps you to work through and get out things that you never really shared or processed before. My counselor previously asked when I was going to start it but I kept resisting because I didn't want to be triggered. But I was in a good place, so I began writing and got a lot of it done. Feels good. I'm gonna go get some sleep so my mood doesn't degenerate any tomorrow, lol.
-siphus