BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Good stuff, man! I'm really happy for you and all the good progress that you've been making!
Let's show this new year what's up!
Let's show this new year what's up!
Free At Last
- Thread starter achilles heel
- Start date
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 25
Thank you very much, Blue and Freedom! Your support means a lot to me!
Exactly, without exaggeration I can say that this community has been kind of a lifesaver for me and I don't want to imagine where I was today without the great progress due to the constant fight against porn. We're going to make it and leave this behind!
Whenever I might doubt the way I just need to remind myself of today, because I felt an incredible level of energy. I am not sure I have ever been this long without any O at all, would have to look up this journal, but I am going complete hard mode and today was maybe my highest level of self-confidence, sports performance and productivity at work ever.
Until now I didn't experience any depression, but I am prepared for the rollercoaster to go down at any time. Taking my phone home yesterday was stupid and I didn't repeat the same mistake. It was okay to communicate, but it was too much of a risk.
I am very busy until saturday and then will check out the other journals here. Hope you are all doing well! Next goal: One more day without porn!
Thank you very much, Blue and Freedom! Your support means a lot to me!
Freedomisworthit said:
Exactly, without exaggeration I can say that this community has been kind of a lifesaver for me and I don't want to imagine where I was today without the great progress due to the constant fight against porn. We're going to make it and leave this behind!
Whenever I might doubt the way I just need to remind myself of today, because I felt an incredible level of energy. I am not sure I have ever been this long without any O at all, would have to look up this journal, but I am going complete hard mode and today was maybe my highest level of self-confidence, sports performance and productivity at work ever.
Until now I didn't experience any depression, but I am prepared for the rollercoaster to go down at any time. Taking my phone home yesterday was stupid and I didn't repeat the same mistake. It was okay to communicate, but it was too much of a risk.
I am very busy until saturday and then will check out the other journals here. Hope you are all doing well! Next goal: One more day without porn!
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
It's awesome that you're feeling confident and productive! You really are doing good stuff right now.
Keep going through the busy days, and keep being awesome!
Keep going through the busy days, and keep being awesome!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 26
Thank you once again, Blue!
Just my little, daily update - plans for the rest of the day: No porn!
Thank you once again, Blue!
Just my little, daily update - plans for the rest of the day: No porn!
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Can't think of better plans! Carry on!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 27
Thanks, Blue!
Very difficult day today, broke my restrictions, feel like I'm going to give in soon to the urges. I have to remind myself of the daily success. I know I can make it today and as today is almost over, I am setting a plan just for today and tomorrow: No porn!
As soon as I get back to work on monday, things will be a lot easier. It's the end of the month and it's just about making it through this weekend.
Thanks, Blue!
Very difficult day today, broke my restrictions, feel like I'm going to give in soon to the urges. I have to remind myself of the daily success. I know I can make it today and as today is almost over, I am setting a plan just for today and tomorrow: No porn!
As soon as I get back to work on monday, things will be a lot easier. It's the end of the month and it's just about making it through this weekend.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Definitely be careful!
Also, though, don't fall into the trap of thinking that your restrictions are just crumbling on their own or that relapse is inevitable. On some level, it's always a choice, and you have the power to turn the ship around at any moment if you want to. I was too slow turning it around last week, and I'm feeling the sting of it still.
Cravings can only hurt you if you let them. You're doing good work and good progress. Just assert your recovery brain and don't let your addicted brain plan your next relapse while your distracted.
You're right: it will blow over and get better. Hang in there!
Also, though, don't fall into the trap of thinking that your restrictions are just crumbling on their own or that relapse is inevitable. On some level, it's always a choice, and you have the power to turn the ship around at any moment if you want to. I was too slow turning it around last week, and I'm feeling the sting of it still.
Cravings can only hurt you if you let them. You're doing good work and good progress. Just assert your recovery brain and don't let your addicted brain plan your next relapse while your distracted.
You're right: it will blow over and get better. Hang in there!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 28
Thank you, guys!
Four weeks complete, but I can't handle cravings anymore. I'm feeling alone and isolated and took my cell phone home, binged on YouTube and it's a miracle I didn't relapse so far.
Despite feeling completely powerless I'm going to the gym now just to do something and distract myself.
Thank you, guys!
Four weeks complete, but I can't handle cravings anymore. I'm feeling alone and isolated and took my cell phone home, binged on YouTube and it's a miracle I didn't relapse so far.
Despite feeling completely powerless I'm going to the gym now just to do something and distract myself.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Handle them for one more day! And then bargain again with your addiction tomorrow. When the cravings are really bad, that's when taking it one day at a time really becomes important. For me, cravings become unbearable when I think I have to put up with them forever. But I can usually find a way to deal with them just for today.
Going to the gym is a good plan to get outside, get out of your head, and work out some tension. Just be careful of triggers and cravings when you get back (there's something about going home from an outing that gets my relapse brain in full anticipation mode when things get rocky).
Stick to your restrictions! Find something pleasant to do (even like a funny movie or something). Remember that you're not alone! We're fighting the fight alongside you. You can do it for one more day!
Going to the gym is a good plan to get outside, get out of your head, and work out some tension. Just be careful of triggers and cravings when you get back (there's something about going home from an outing that gets my relapse brain in full anticipation mode when things get rocky).
Stick to your restrictions! Find something pleasant to do (even like a funny movie or something). Remember that you're not alone! We're fighting the fight alongside you. You can do it for one more day!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 29
Thanks a lot, Blue, I made it through the most difficult part and today I feel a lot better already. The weekend was my least productive during this reboot so far because I couldn't concentrate on reading or doing something creative. I made it 29 days hard mode and didn't even have any wet dreams so far, never went that long without any O.
Going to the gym saved me as I returned with more energy despite a really heavy workout, cravings also decreased, I left my phone in the car and went to bed immediately where I fell asleep after reading a few pages. Today I can say it was totally worth it as I am getting back in shape step by step and don't start at day 0 but at day 29. I totally lost my focus during the weekend and have to develop strategies to convince myself that urges will pass.
My brain goes into some kind of autopilot and really tortures me with the thought of "Either you give in now or this will become worse!", I can't concentrate on anything and feel no energy to do my daily tasks. The gym is actually the best way to deal with those feelings, because it's just physical exhaustion that gives me some natural pleasure, not much concentration needed.
Plan for the rest of today: No porn - instead I am preparing fresh vegetables, will go to the gym again and sleep early. I'm still wondering how I binged on YouTube without switching to porn subs, but I won't risk it again. I was playing with fire and hopefully learned my lesson.
Thanks a lot, Blue, I made it through the most difficult part and today I feel a lot better already. The weekend was my least productive during this reboot so far because I couldn't concentrate on reading or doing something creative. I made it 29 days hard mode and didn't even have any wet dreams so far, never went that long without any O.
Going to the gym saved me as I returned with more energy despite a really heavy workout, cravings also decreased, I left my phone in the car and went to bed immediately where I fell asleep after reading a few pages. Today I can say it was totally worth it as I am getting back in shape step by step and don't start at day 0 but at day 29. I totally lost my focus during the weekend and have to develop strategies to convince myself that urges will pass.
My brain goes into some kind of autopilot and really tortures me with the thought of "Either you give in now or this will become worse!", I can't concentrate on anything and feel no energy to do my daily tasks. The gym is actually the best way to deal with those feelings, because it's just physical exhaustion that gives me some natural pleasure, not much concentration needed.
Plan for the rest of today: No porn - instead I am preparing fresh vegetables, will go to the gym again and sleep early. I'm still wondering how I binged on YouTube without switching to porn subs, but I won't risk it again. I was playing with fire and hopefully learned my lesson.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
That's awesome! Glad you made it through!
Brains do weird things when they want a fix. I remember much earlier in my recovery when I would be home alone and my brain would somehow convince me that porn was the only thing I could do. I would even have other ideas, but my brain somehow made those other activities seem impossible. Weird thoughts happen, recognize that they aren't you and let them go by.
Also, I laughed "No porn - instead I am preparing fresh vegetables." For some reason, it seemed really random but also exactly right. It's a great reminder that it's not just about quitting porn. It's about rebuilding a healthy, real life. Preparing fresh vegetables is exactly the right thing to do instead.
Keep it up! Here's to day 30!
Brains do weird things when they want a fix. I remember much earlier in my recovery when I would be home alone and my brain would somehow convince me that porn was the only thing I could do. I would even have other ideas, but my brain somehow made those other activities seem impossible. Weird thoughts happen, recognize that they aren't you and let them go by.
Also, I laughed "No porn - instead I am preparing fresh vegetables." For some reason, it seemed really random but also exactly right. It's a great reminder that it's not just about quitting porn. It's about rebuilding a healthy, real life. Preparing fresh vegetables is exactly the right thing to do instead.
Keep it up! Here's to day 30!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 30
Thanks, Blue, vegetables are definitely better than porn!
Just completed day 30, although my longest streak without any O is done because I woke up in the early morning to a wet dream. I'm feeling good, my social anxiety is at an all time low, currently I work a lot and do lots of sports because both activities keep me busy and distracted. At work I am involved in all kinds of projects and have major responsibility, I even plan on doing something on the weekend to have a schedule - at least for the next month. Apart from avoiding porn I am earning good money and due to sports I am getting back in shape. That's the best I can make of cold winter days while going through another tough reboot. My next goal is one more day without porn and the first month will be complete!
Thanks, Blue, vegetables are definitely better than porn!
Just completed day 30, although my longest streak without any O is done because I woke up in the early morning to a wet dream. I'm feeling good, my social anxiety is at an all time low, currently I work a lot and do lots of sports because both activities keep me busy and distracted. At work I am involved in all kinds of projects and have major responsibility, I even plan on doing something on the weekend to have a schedule - at least for the next month. Apart from avoiding porn I am earning good money and due to sports I am getting back in shape. That's the best I can make of cold winter days while going through another tough reboot. My next goal is one more day without porn and the first month will be complete!
quitforeverthenwin2
Well-Known Member
Man congrats!!!! Keep up the good work! Wet dream is a sign of progess imo and of course something we can't control. So cool how when we get the reboot working well so many other things seem to fall into place.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Awesome awesome awesome! Congrats on a month: that's really exciting, and you built it one day at a time.
Just keep chugging along day by day!
Just keep chugging along day by day!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 31
Thank you very much, guys! Just completed the first month and I'm still very busy!
Thank you very much, guys! Just completed the first month and I'm still very busy!
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Yes! That's still great news. Day 1 or Day 31, it's another whole day of your life without addiction. Keep it going for another day!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 32
Thank you, Blue!
Again no time for details, just my daily update about my goal for the day: No porn!
Thank you, Blue!
Again no time for details, just my daily update about my goal for the day: No porn!
W
wecandoit
Guest
Great, man! A month! This is good so far. You know how slow it seems to get a significant streak, that's why you have to treasure it and not lose it. The thought of going back to day 1 and sloooowly climb back to day 32 (which looks like decades) will definitely scare me enough. I don't know about you. I definitely don't want to lose my 15 days streak.
BlueHeronFan
Respected Member
Details or not, you made it through another day. That's the key detail.
Carry on!
Carry on!