96LostWanderer
Active Member
Well done - it sounds like you're making real progress lately. I have spent the past half year in a real rut, so I'll be following your thread for some inspiration.
Free At Last
- Thread starter achilles heel
- Start date
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Eight weeks complete, time is passing by very fast lately and I feel great. There are some ups and downs along the road, but putting this into perspective I don’t feel like I’m suffering and I surely didn’t give up anything valuable.
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Fantastic streak brother. Let's keep pushing!
MapleSyrup
Member
8 weeks is awesome, congrats brother. Have you noticed any positive results in your life so far, in terms of mood, emotions, energy, etc?
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Thank you very much, SmokenMirrors and HappyNotFappy! I just entered the third month without porn for the first time in 4 years. I said “Porn is not an option.” many times before, but feel that after reading and understanding the EasyPeasy method I finally internalized it and am less likely to fall back into the trap.
I say “less likely” because of my history with addiction. My counter in terms of abstinence from any illegal drugs is at over 1200 days and still I have dreams about relapsing sometimes and had some triggering situations I have to be careful about. Becoming addicted was easy, but getting rid of the addiction is a life long task, because I can’t undo the changes in my brain completely.
In terms of mood, emotions and energy I feel no superpowers, but overall improvement. My energy depends a lot on my nutrition and my nutrition is bad lately as always during Christmas time. Emotionally I’m much more stable and have no mood swings lately, my social anxiety has improved a lot over the years of reducing my porn consumption and I’m capable of things I couldn’t have imagined doing 10 years ago. I went from sweating in front of the supermarket cashier because I felt all eyes on me to speaking in front of groups of 20-40 persons and feel a huge improvement in self confidence.
I say “less likely” because of my history with addiction. My counter in terms of abstinence from any illegal drugs is at over 1200 days and still I have dreams about relapsing sometimes and had some triggering situations I have to be careful about. Becoming addicted was easy, but getting rid of the addiction is a life long task, because I can’t undo the changes in my brain completely.
In terms of mood, emotions and energy I feel no superpowers, but overall improvement. My energy depends a lot on my nutrition and my nutrition is bad lately as always during Christmas time. Emotionally I’m much more stable and have no mood swings lately, my social anxiety has improved a lot over the years of reducing my porn consumption and I’m capable of things I couldn’t have imagined doing 10 years ago. I went from sweating in front of the supermarket cashier because I felt all eyes on me to speaking in front of groups of 20-40 persons and feel a huge improvement in self confidence.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
@achilles heel
What you say about gaining confidence over the years is really inspiring. I will use it to motivate myself when thinking about why I need to stay away from porn.
What you say about gaining confidence over the years is really inspiring. I will use it to motivate myself when thinking about why I need to stay away from porn.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Eleven weeks complete and this is now within my longest streaks ever, but it almost failed last week. Ten days ago I drank too much and had a hangover, MO’d next morning and did so again the same day and the next day. I started to feel this well known “chaser effect” and if I reflect on that weekend, I only didn’t relapse because of being with my family the whole day. I’m very sure that every other year around this time I would have given in to the urges because they felt very strong.
Now I completed a first week in hard mode because I felt a setback last weekend and also a danger in opening the door to a relapse by allowing myself to MO. This event made me humble again after I thought that discovering and internalizing the EasyPeasy method changed my mind completely. It did in a certain way, but there are no miracles and I have to be careful.
Now I completed a first week in hard mode because I felt a setback last weekend and also a danger in opening the door to a relapse by allowing myself to MO. This event made me humble again after I thought that discovering and internalizing the EasyPeasy method changed my mind completely. It did in a certain way, but there are no miracles and I have to be careful.
MapleSyrup
Member
The chaser effect is totally real and dangerous in my experience. Once you experience and relive the pleasure once, it's like your body just remembers that PMO is an option for instant pleasure, and it keeps popping in your head for the next few days.
Great job getting right back on with hard mode and not letting it turn into a full relapse. I wish you good luck staying vigilant and keeping up the fight!
Great job getting right back on with hard mode and not letting it turn into a full relapse. I wish you good luck staying vigilant and keeping up the fight!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
I didn’t make it much further than my latest entry and it has been day 1 several times since - so is today. I have to get back on track and need to write here to address this problem for myself!
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 0
Once again I fell back into the trap. But I do have a choice. My whole life is my choice and I make the choice to quit. I want to and need to finally leave this behind. It works best when I write here on a daily basis and that’s what I’m going to do again.
Once again I fell back into the trap. But I do have a choice. My whole life is my choice and I make the choice to quit. I want to and need to finally leave this behind. It works best when I write here on a daily basis and that’s what I’m going to do again.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 2
My first goal is to complete this weekend, will go to the gym now and try to make this day as productive as possible.
My first goal is to complete this weekend, will go to the gym now and try to make this day as productive as possible.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 3
The start has been successful so far, I have to find a way out of this vicious circle now!
The start has been successful so far, I have to find a way out of this vicious circle now!
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Forever an inspiration, keep on fighting the good fight bro
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 14
Despite announcing a daily journal again, I didn’t write here. Good news is, I made it through the first two weeks. The last time I reached 84 days and had a new approach with the “EasyPeasy” method that totally convinced me to never relapse again. I’m running out of new approaches and therefore feel a lack of conviction now.
I’m here for 8 years now and trying to quit for a decade (being on and off here), but the last time I thought I discovered the game changer, I failed again. So far I’m telling myself that I have a choice. Every day is a choice and staying away from porn benefits me in every aspect of my life.
My big problem is the omnipresence of porn. I already eliminated social media, my biggest problem in earlier days of trying to quit. But after a certain time of abstinence I get triggered by everything. For example I read sports news and below the article appears a clickbait link to an article with a celebrity in a bikini. Sometimes that’s enough to make me click, go to image search and end up clicking through non-nudes. And once I reach that point, it’s too late.
I successfully quit drugs (almost four years clean now) and it was really tough. But I avoided certain people and places to avoid triggers. In terms of porn addiction, that’s impossible these days. The strategy of just avoiding any triggers doesn’t work, so I have to reach a point where I consciously say “No” when facing those challenges.
Despite announcing a daily journal again, I didn’t write here. Good news is, I made it through the first two weeks. The last time I reached 84 days and had a new approach with the “EasyPeasy” method that totally convinced me to never relapse again. I’m running out of new approaches and therefore feel a lack of conviction now.
I’m here for 8 years now and trying to quit for a decade (being on and off here), but the last time I thought I discovered the game changer, I failed again. So far I’m telling myself that I have a choice. Every day is a choice and staying away from porn benefits me in every aspect of my life.
My big problem is the omnipresence of porn. I already eliminated social media, my biggest problem in earlier days of trying to quit. But after a certain time of abstinence I get triggered by everything. For example I read sports news and below the article appears a clickbait link to an article with a celebrity in a bikini. Sometimes that’s enough to make me click, go to image search and end up clicking through non-nudes. And once I reach that point, it’s too late.
I successfully quit drugs (almost four years clean now) and it was really tough. But I avoided certain people and places to avoid triggers. In terms of porn addiction, that’s impossible these days. The strategy of just avoiding any triggers doesn’t work, so I have to reach a point where I consciously say “No” when facing those challenges.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
I am back at day 0 and need to really consider quit drinking alcohol, there is never a hangover that doesn’t lead me back to the abyss. I will make recovery my number 1 priority and go back to heavy restrictions. I want to break out of the cycle again.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I have the same problem.
PrometheusUnbound
Active Member
I quit alcohol about 3 years ago and I do have to say that it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The abyss of hangovers was one of the main factors, and something that I don't miss. Whichever way you go I'm sure you will find the way.
Best.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 0
Just tried a new thread in the age section above to maybe psychologically change something, but keep writing “Day 0” anyway. Lately the chaser effect sets in heavily and I didn’t even make it one day clean.
Now I think I shouldn’t escape all the past failures, but analyze how to finally leave addiction behind.
As I mentioned before, hangovers were a massive problem. I stopped drinking for a couple of months already and will set my goal to not drink until the end of the year, eliminating that obstacle.
Apart from that I immediately need to reduce screen time and stop taking my cellphone to bed or even the bedroom. Other aspects are good sleep and nutrition.
I need the right circumstances to get back on track and set a first goal of reaching the end of the day without a new setback.
Just tried a new thread in the age section above to maybe psychologically change something, but keep writing “Day 0” anyway. Lately the chaser effect sets in heavily and I didn’t even make it one day clean.
Now I think I shouldn’t escape all the past failures, but analyze how to finally leave addiction behind.
As I mentioned before, hangovers were a massive problem. I stopped drinking for a couple of months already and will set my goal to not drink until the end of the year, eliminating that obstacle.
Apart from that I immediately need to reduce screen time and stop taking my cellphone to bed or even the bedroom. Other aspects are good sleep and nutrition.
I need the right circumstances to get back on track and set a first goal of reaching the end of the day without a new setback.
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Day 0
Didn’t even make it through the first day, being home alone I heard this voice of “It’s day 0 anyway, you might allow yourself some pleasure once more” and there I went again.
I have to remain calm and focus, but I realize I went down that spiral too far and have a really hard time now getting out of the abyss again.
Didn’t even make it through the first day, being home alone I heard this voice of “It’s day 0 anyway, you might allow yourself some pleasure once more” and there I went again.
I have to remain calm and focus, but I realize I went down that spiral too far and have a really hard time now getting out of the abyss again.