Day 14
Despite announcing a daily journal again, I didn’t write here. Good news is, I made it through the first two weeks. The last time I reached 84 days and had a new approach with the “EasyPeasy” method that totally convinced me to never relapse again. I’m running out of new approaches and therefore feel a lack of conviction now.
I’m here for 8 years now and trying to quit for a decade (being on and off here), but the last time I thought I discovered the game changer, I failed again. So far I’m telling myself that I have a choice. Every day is a choice and staying away from porn benefits me in every aspect of my life.
My big problem is the omnipresence of porn. I already eliminated social media, my biggest problem in earlier days of trying to quit. But after a certain time of abstinence I get triggered by everything. For example I read sports news and below the article appears a clickbait link to an article with a celebrity in a bikini. Sometimes that’s enough to make me click, go to image search and end up clicking through non-nudes. And once I reach that point, it’s too late.
I successfully quit drugs (almost four years clean now) and it was really tough. But I avoided certain people and places to avoid triggers. In terms of porn addiction, that’s impossible these days. The strategy of just avoiding any triggers doesn’t work, so I have to reach a point where I consciously say “No” when facing those challenges.