Free At Last

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achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 30

I made it through two difficult days, got enough sleep again and feel way better. This is a reminder to myself: No matter how strong cravings become, they will pass without giving in.

I almost completed the first month and enter the second, still I will take this step by step as the last two days showed me how unstable I still am.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Unfortunately I didn’t make it further…

Day 3

Despite my latest entry I took my cell phone to bed, I will search for apps to help me reduce my cell phone use now because it’s a key to success.

Had strong feelings of self hatred after going down the abyss once again, but I also know this is leading nowhere. One month was a great success and it was the second time this year I made it through a whole month.

Now it’s the third day since my last relapse and I must understand that I cannot rely on will power concerning my cell phone use. I have to reduce it by force starting today.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 4

It’s important to get right back on track and don’t give my addicted brain any chance to further remain in the porn trap. The frustration after losing a streak of many weeks often leads to returning to porn once again, but it’s not about a streak, it’s about not using anymore.

Thanks to Androg I am reading the easypeasy method based on Allen Carr’s guide to quit smoking and hope this will give me a new perspective. I remember already reading this a long time ago on here, but can’t remember if I finished it.

I really want to leave this addiction behind and I will not give up despite yet another failed attempt.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 0

My life is slipping away, I have to stop and turn around now. I’m feeling desperate. I achieved a lot and fall back into old patterns, affecting every aspect of my life.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Thank you very much, Androg, for sharing the “Easy Peasy” method with me again. I remember reading it but am not sure if I didn’t finish it back then or didn’t really get it. Now I got it. Despite this being technically another “Day 0” I am very confident to have understood the key to leave this addiction behind and just be free.

I can just recommend the book although I have yet to prove its success in my case. Maybe a change of perspective is all I needed after a decade of failures, but I have never been as optimistic as today to never relapse again.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
A little more than two weeks complete, it’s not that EasyPeasy means there are no triggers and urges, but I changed my perspective and don’t have the feeling to give up something anymore. I’m just leaving behind what held me back more than half of my life and it feels really good to do so.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Three weeks complete, the last weekend was far from easy, but I made it and still feel really good overall.

I’m not expecting any superpowers, just living a normal life without the negative effects porn had on me for far too long.

As I described during my latest failed attempts I always had that voice in the back of my mind telling me “Keep counting days, but sooner or later you’re going to relapse anyway!” - now I separate this voice and the urges from myself as something that’s not really me, but “it” asking to be fed.

It’s still too soon to tell if I am finally succeeding, but while reading the book I definitely felt a change of mind that I didn’t think was possible. I am 100% positive about quitting.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
One month complete, so far the result is incredible. I’m still in doubt and cautious after all these years, but I am really doing very well lately.
 
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achilles heel

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And the fifth week is complete: Yes, there still is some trouble, but I learned to put it into a right perspective and it really seems like that was the game changer for a hopeless case like myself.

I’m not claiming victory yet, but I’ve never felt better and more convinced. If you read this and haven’t done it, go read the “EasyPeasy method” - I had very strong doubts and remember reading it a first time without effect. But this time it clicked and made a change.
 
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achilles heel

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I’m one day away from six weeks without porn. Since my biggest streak ever in 2019 (100 days clean) I didn’t reach over 40 days again, so this is already my best result in over four years.

I don’t do drugs anymore, so there is no replacement as there has been in 2019. When I drink, I manage to control myself these days. I live an overall happy life, but still I didn’t manage to quit porn.

Reading the easypeasy method showed me a methodical approach as I strictly followed the instructions and it put this addiction into a different perspective. Most of the time I was feeling like I had to overcome a powerful monster when in reality I am leaving behind absolutely nothing of value at all.

Yes, there are urges and even dreams of porn, but this will fade and I finally understand that this isn’t my real me fighting with myself. It’s something inside my brain that I will leave behind.

This time I didn’t overload myself with quitting everything at once. I made it past drugs (over 3 years now), I will leave porn behind and now step by step I will improve my life even more, starting tomorrow by drastically reducing my cell phone use following a clear plan.

Yes, I am still far away from my longest streaks, but I feel like this isn’t about counting days anymore. I took a decision to leave porn behind and planned it ahead with one final session to reflect on what happened with me.

I never want to go back to this again.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Thank you very much, Blondie! Today it’s officially six weeks since I last looked at porn or porn subs including sexting. My plan for this week is to go back to the gym and exercise as I haven’t done it lately. Will remain very busy until the weekend and go for the next week of my new life.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Seven weeks complete, tomorrow will be day 50. That’s half way through my longest streak ever. I’m still feeling very good and went back to exercise last week. Anyhow I failed to reduce my cell phone use and want to improve in this area, starting today.
 
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