Hi,
I have been in a pattern of PMO at least pretty much at least once a day for the last 25 years.(I'm 43)
I always thought it was normal just cleaning the pipes you know and everybody does it.
I'm just realizing this but, it has ended up costing me everything. I've never had a long
term relationship with a woman my whole life, just a handful lasting
around a month or so. I am attracted to women but never had that
drive to pursue, now I know why. I have desperately wanted a family
but was never able to make the connection that porn was warping my desires and initiative.
Until now. How can a real woman compete with the endless supply and
intensity of the 15 or more tabs I have open?
I feel my life is pretty together in other areas with career, fitness, finances, etc.
The shame I feel and disappointment I have for not noticing this before is disturbing.
In the last few years or so my use has escalated and escalated,
the more twisted the better, wasting hours on end on almost every
fetish out there.
Anyway, I'm making a change. NO MORE PORN. NO MORE MASTURBATION.
Hopefully It is not too late. I have already had to battle some
very very strong urges to do either or both.
I'm also fighting with severe anxiety but there's great info and wisdom on this website and
YBOP. It's helped me understand a lot. I'm thankful I came across the Ted talk and Gabe's
video. This awakening and the whole process scares me to death but I hope to be balanced enough to have a
normal relationship someday.
thanks.
I have been in a pattern of PMO at least pretty much at least once a day for the last 25 years.(I'm 43)
I always thought it was normal just cleaning the pipes you know and everybody does it.
I'm just realizing this but, it has ended up costing me everything. I've never had a long
term relationship with a woman my whole life, just a handful lasting
around a month or so. I am attracted to women but never had that
drive to pursue, now I know why. I have desperately wanted a family
but was never able to make the connection that porn was warping my desires and initiative.
Until now. How can a real woman compete with the endless supply and
intensity of the 15 or more tabs I have open?
I feel my life is pretty together in other areas with career, fitness, finances, etc.
The shame I feel and disappointment I have for not noticing this before is disturbing.
In the last few years or so my use has escalated and escalated,
the more twisted the better, wasting hours on end on almost every
fetish out there.
Anyway, I'm making a change. NO MORE PORN. NO MORE MASTURBATION.
Hopefully It is not too late. I have already had to battle some
very very strong urges to do either or both.
I'm also fighting with severe anxiety but there's great info and wisdom on this website and
YBOP. It's helped me understand a lot. I'm thankful I came across the Ted talk and Gabe's
video. This awakening and the whole process scares me to death but I hope to be balanced enough to have a
normal relationship someday.
thanks.