Excited about your new goals, Josef!
I wish you well, also, in getting closer to your brother.
I wish you well, also, in getting closer to your brother.
Thanks for lifting an alternative but in my case I don't think that I have a strong need for Youtube. I don't have a strong need for entertainment. It is just a habit. I'm not even that interested in the three Youtube-channels that I watch but I have continued to watch them out of habit. I still have Facebook and radio among other things as a distraction if I need one. I felt good when I blocked YT and I think I need to keep it blocked for at least a week because of what happened yesterday and the day before that. It was on YT I found stuff that I should keep away from that I MO:d to. The more barriers I have for that the better. I have books to distract myself with as well but I will review this goal next week and see If I want to change anything.Hi, Josef. I can relate to Youtube being a potential distraction..., and yet a form of (needed) entertainment. I would suggest as an alternative to blocking, to try and set a timer. And, if you're faithful to the timer, that could also build confidence in your ability to stick to your goals and plans.
Be well.
Thanks for lifting an alternative but in my case I don't think that I have a strong need for Youtube. I don't have a strong need for entertainment. It is just a habit. I'm not even that interested in the three Youtube-channels that I watch but I have continued to watch them out of habit. I still have Facebook and radio among other things as a distraction if I need one. I felt good when I blocked YT and I think I need to keep it blocked for at least a week because of what happened yesterday and the day before that. It was on YT I found stuff that I should keep away from that I MO:d to. The more barriers I have for that the better. I have books to distract myself with as well but I will review this goal next week and see If I want to change anything.
Goals: | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday |
Meditate twice (5-10 min) 70% Completed | 1/2 (only meditated once | Completed | Completed | Completed | Not completed (forgot about it) |
Wake up at 7 AM and stay up. 80% Completed | Completed | Completed | Completed | Completed | Not completed (woke up at 7AM but went back to bed again. |
Work on assignment for 1 hour. 90% Completed | 1/2 (worked for 30 min) | Completed | Completed | not completed | Completed |
Make indian dish 100% Completed | 100% Completed! | - | - | - | - |
- | - | - | - | New goal: Don't watch videos on Youtube: Completed (Thursday) | Completed (Friday) |
Maybe I should rephrase what I said then. What I meant was that It is good to get used to being uncomfortable for short periods of time and resist the urge to escape bad feelings and that you get better at this with time. The focus is not on P but on embracing uncomfort in the moment. Urges come in small bursts and they usually end within 45 minutes if you just sit with it or do something else. I am not saying that is all you do. It only takes you to a certain point by itself. you need to plan for urges and stop them before they happen but If they do come you have to resist/do something else while it is still manageable. If the urges continue to come, it's almost like a timer I would say before you relapse. You have to find out what the actual problem is and what you can do about it. Are you lonely? angry? hungry? Tired? unfocused? Don't you have any goals for the foreseeable future? Do you want to escape something? Then when you know the problem you have to do something about it and choose a strategy to fix it or sooth it without destructive behaviours. The focus should not be on P and as you said pure willpower (willpower alone) doesn't work.Haha, I don't know if training your brain works like that! If you resist, but you have urges all the time and really want to watch porn but resist on pure willpower, I think the brain will not necesserily learn to resist more, but that porn is something pretty precious and important if you think about it so much! I think how you deal with urges is very important!
What I meant was that It is good to get used to being uncomfortable for short periods of time and resist the urge to escape bad feelings and that you get better at this with time.
Thank you Phineas. I think you might be right that my goals have something to do with temporarily losing my flow or mood. It might be an exaggeration from my part calling it cravings, it is still a small thing but it could become a bigger thing if i'm not careful.This definitely makes sense, Josef! Urges may come, but resisting or fighting them in a way feeds them, because you're nonetheless reacting to them. What should we do? Simply breathe through the urges non-judgmentally until they pass on their own.
Several things can 'trigger' us, and it may not be important to sift through everything to find out what..., unless it's obvious. All we need do is not act on, nor react to, the urges.
I think your goals are awesome, but I wonder if the urges are coming from them somehow? Like, you did good, you worked on healthy habits, and so now the beast-brain wants a reward? Kind of like certain commercials where you're buying some unhealthy snack, but they'll donate x-amount of money to some worthy cause... it makes you feel 'better' about rewarding yourself.
Do your goals, not because they 'keep you out of trouble' (if that's the thinking), but because that's your new life. Everything else that reminds you of your former habits is just 'neurological junk', and can be ignored.
Go for the simplicity, enjoy life, and love yourself, brother!