Believe me if I had of known that porn was so addictive and devastating I would have stayed away when I was a teenager.
So where am I now with this? Rock fn bottom just trying to stay alive, that's being brutally honest. Here's the problem...I met a woman, and I like her. I like her because she's nice, kind and has a great smile that makes my day. We have (i think) a powerful connection in the bedroom, we haven't had sex but we do other stuff and always have orgasms together. I've met her parents and she talks about things we can do in the future. She is different at least in my eyes.
My Dad passed away just before we met and my mood plummeted and while I stayed clean for a week or so I returned to porn to ease the hurt. During this relapse I stumbled upon onlyfans and welcome to the next level of addiction. For the first time in my life I started to pay for video calls and custom vids. Oh my, living the dream.
I'd stay with my girlfriend one night and the next night she was working i'd be at home on my phone on onlyfans paying for calls. After two months of this I have become an absolute shell of a man. The pain is relentless.
The last week I have tried to quit, I finally want to quit, but while it should be for me, in an indirect way giving up for her is giving up for me
She is so nice, I may even be in love.
So where am I now with this? Rock fn bottom just trying to stay alive, that's being brutally honest. Here's the problem...I met a woman, and I like her. I like her because she's nice, kind and has a great smile that makes my day. We have (i think) a powerful connection in the bedroom, we haven't had sex but we do other stuff and always have orgasms together. I've met her parents and she talks about things we can do in the future. She is different at least in my eyes.
My Dad passed away just before we met and my mood plummeted and while I stayed clean for a week or so I returned to porn to ease the hurt. During this relapse I stumbled upon onlyfans and welcome to the next level of addiction. For the first time in my life I started to pay for video calls and custom vids. Oh my, living the dream.
I'd stay with my girlfriend one night and the next night she was working i'd be at home on my phone on onlyfans paying for calls. After two months of this I have become an absolute shell of a man. The pain is relentless.
The last week I have tried to quit, I finally want to quit, but while it should be for me, in an indirect way giving up for her is giving up for me
She is so nice, I may even be in love.