Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
PMOed multiple times 2 days in a row...
Escape and never come back
- Thread starter Escapeandnevercomeback
- Start date
GBS
Respected Member
Hi @Escapeandnevercomeback - many people on here use porn blockers on their devices. It’s been mentioned on your string several times. Do you use porn blockers? If not, why not?
96LostWanderer
Active Member
You seem to be in a similar position to me lately, struggling to go a week without relapse. I'll be following your thread and you can follow mine if you like. I reckon we lack self-belief. If only we can believe a bit more - and crucially be kind to ourselves - we can make some real progress.
forceisstrong2
Active Member
I couldn't stay off this thing without porn blockers. I'm a 100 days clean and I still need porn blockers.
You need to change it up, man. Start going to some meetings. Not a fan of the guy, but start reading someone like Jordan Peterson- you need to change of mindset. Quitting porn is hard, but it is lot easier if you build some strategies and get the support you need, such as AA and SAA.
You can do this man. You can kick it. But you got start taking control of your life.
You need to change it up, man. Start going to some meetings. Not a fan of the guy, but start reading someone like Jordan Peterson- you need to change of mindset. Quitting porn is hard, but it is lot easier if you build some strategies and get the support you need, such as AA and SAA.
You can do this man. You can kick it. But you got start taking control of your life.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Yo.
I don't know, probably the reason why the addict inside of me doesn't want to consider porn blockers is because of the obvious: He still wants to have the opportunity to use the drug. It's probably that simple. I guess if you don't come up with the radical and firm decision to get into complete abstinence, and still want to taste the drug a little bit (a little bit more, of course an addict binges, doesn't just "taste" a little), then you can't do this and you will find ways to self-sabotage.
Thanks for the support.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Whassup.
Thanks man, we should do this, yes. I definitely lack self-belief, it's true. I guess deep down inside I don't believe I deserve better. It's a bullshit mentality that I have been carrying with me since childhood where it actually developed and have been half-assing this crucial self-improvement step so far. I don't think I can beat this feeling like a loser.
Thanks for support.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I've been listening to guys who give good advice, my problem is that I half-ass the implementation of it all. I probably just watch those videos as a form of mental masturbation more than as a form of getting determined to move.
Thanks for support.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I'm not doing too good with my abstinence, still relapsing too much...
96LostWanderer
Active Member
I can relate to feeling like you don’t deserve better, but really all human beings deserve the chance to be the best people we can be. Porn is robbing us of that chance.
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Escape,
That answer is fucking insane. You will never be free of this if you think you can have a taste now and then.
That's like saying to an alcoholic or a cocaine addict that they can still now and then have a taste.
No you fucking cant. You said for us to give it to you straight a couple of weeks ago, so let's do it again.
You cant have a fucking taste of porn. You have to fucking abstain. Put fucking porn blockers on all of your devices and stop all of his bullshit.
Today is the fucking day.
No porn. Block porn for good. Get it out of your fucking life and stop all of this pussy footing around.
Also, a great way to beat the cravings is to you know go out and do social things. Join groups where there are girls, where you can meet cool people, socialise, live a happy and fulfilling life.
When it all comes down to it you are having a big giant love affair with your hand. Is that really something that you want to continue doing?
Put porn blockers on your devices, go to SAA and also start doing social things.
Today is the fucking day. Fuck porn
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
It's true. I haven't really felt much emotions for something like 17 years because of this bullshit.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Yes, I don't want any more sugarcoating and attaboy moments, they will do me no good. I rather be called out and have people tell me the truth, truth hurts sometimes but it's ultimately the best way, I am the kind of guy who searches for the truth and prefers to tell the truth anyway so it would be ridiculous not to want the same in return. That's right, today is the fuckin day.
jonazo91
Active Member
What porn blocker do you use? I haven’t found one that isn’t either A) too easy to self-disable or B) reduces functionality of my device in unintended ways, e.g. Internet connectivity
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Porn blockers - try Netnanny. Run it across all of your devices. They'll even store the password for you and you have to ask for it back.
Personally I use Qustodio (free version). I dont just block all porn sites, I block youtube, Facebook, insta as well cause I'll start using em as a porn subs. Also, I block all prozy websites and tutorials that explain how to get past porn blockers.
Once I've fortified my devices, I 'future me' the password, send password to myself in the future via email.
Netnanny and qustodio dont affect computer functionality, far as I know.
If you still think you can bypass these blockers easily, then my suggestion is to dump your smartphone, get a brick one, Nokia, and leave your computer at work.
Problem with porn is that it is so easy to access. You got to put stuff in it's way at the start so that in those weak points you cant access it.
As you build your willpower, its power over you lessons. But at the start anything that stops you from easily accessing it is a great help.
My advice is to give it a try
Personally I use Qustodio (free version). I dont just block all porn sites, I block youtube, Facebook, insta as well cause I'll start using em as a porn subs. Also, I block all prozy websites and tutorials that explain how to get past porn blockers.
Once I've fortified my devices, I 'future me' the password, send password to myself in the future via email.
Netnanny and qustodio dont affect computer functionality, far as I know.
If you still think you can bypass these blockers easily, then my suggestion is to dump your smartphone, get a brick one, Nokia, and leave your computer at work.
Problem with porn is that it is so easy to access. You got to put stuff in it's way at the start so that in those weak points you cant access it.
As you build your willpower, its power over you lessons. But at the start anything that stops you from easily accessing it is a great help.
My advice is to give it a try
Will Stalwart
Active Member
Hope you don’t mind my weighing in. I’ve been following your thread for a while and it’s clear your stuck in cycle perpetuated by your thinking patterns.
“I try and I can’t quit, I’m useless.”
“This is so hard, I hate myself.”
“I fucked it again, I’m hopeless.”
You’ve never broken free of it and each cycle gets worse.
This is the same pattern we see in people with depression, and coupled with your drinking, I was worried and I felt I might have something to add.
Everything right now is focused on kicking PMO, kicking the drinking, without dealing with these thoughts. Someone posted earlier in this thread it’s time to start loving yourself instead of putting yourself down and they are not wrong.
Thinking about yourself the way you are can be incredibly damaging. You need to shift your focus. Train yourself to think more positively. People know this instinctively, thats why the natural response it to be positive, to lift people up.
This is not easy to do yourself, and tends to work better with a trained therapist. But there are a couple of things you can try, easiest of which is keeping a journal (I find writing these things down makes them more concrete, and it is something you are already sort of doing).
When you journal think about making these changes. You can either put these things into practice here or keep a separate private journal where you can be completely open and honest with yourself.
-focus on your successes each day. Even the small ones. I’d suggest trying to find three at the end of every day, and they do not have to be porn related.
-DO NOT put yourself down. This has clearly not helped and you’re still stuck here because of it.
-if something goes wrong, address it terms of what you can and cannot control. And what you can do to change it eg. You cannot control your cravings, and you cannot control a relapse that has already happened. You can control what you do next.
-set short term, achievable goals. Again, not related to porn or drinking. I suggest three to start. (Someone mentioned Jordan Peterson who is of course famous for the whole cleaning your room).
If you’re uncertain as to what good any of this could be, I’ll just ask, what can it hurt to try? You lose nothing.
I’ll also add as a caveat, this is by no means a magic bullet that will fix everything, rather a tool that can help you pull yourself up.
I genuinely hope you feel better, and wish you all the best. You’re still fighting, and that is an achievement in itself (not me bullshitting, just a fact).
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. You just need a shift of perspective and approach.
“I try and I can’t quit, I’m useless.”
“This is so hard, I hate myself.”
“I fucked it again, I’m hopeless.”
You’ve never broken free of it and each cycle gets worse.
This is the same pattern we see in people with depression, and coupled with your drinking, I was worried and I felt I might have something to add.
Everything right now is focused on kicking PMO, kicking the drinking, without dealing with these thoughts. Someone posted earlier in this thread it’s time to start loving yourself instead of putting yourself down and they are not wrong.
Thinking about yourself the way you are can be incredibly damaging. You need to shift your focus. Train yourself to think more positively. People know this instinctively, thats why the natural response it to be positive, to lift people up.
This is not easy to do yourself, and tends to work better with a trained therapist. But there are a couple of things you can try, easiest of which is keeping a journal (I find writing these things down makes them more concrete, and it is something you are already sort of doing).
When you journal think about making these changes. You can either put these things into practice here or keep a separate private journal where you can be completely open and honest with yourself.
-focus on your successes each day. Even the small ones. I’d suggest trying to find three at the end of every day, and they do not have to be porn related.
-DO NOT put yourself down. This has clearly not helped and you’re still stuck here because of it.
-if something goes wrong, address it terms of what you can and cannot control. And what you can do to change it eg. You cannot control your cravings, and you cannot control a relapse that has already happened. You can control what you do next.
-set short term, achievable goals. Again, not related to porn or drinking. I suggest three to start. (Someone mentioned Jordan Peterson who is of course famous for the whole cleaning your room).
If you’re uncertain as to what good any of this could be, I’ll just ask, what can it hurt to try? You lose nothing.
I’ll also add as a caveat, this is by no means a magic bullet that will fix everything, rather a tool that can help you pull yourself up.
I genuinely hope you feel better, and wish you all the best. You’re still fighting, and that is an achievement in itself (not me bullshitting, just a fact).
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. You just need a shift of perspective and approach.
Last edited:
jonazo91
Active Member
Thanks, I’m going to try qustodio and see if my wife is willing to be the “parent”
If nothing else, it’ll be good practice for when we have kids, because you better believe I’m locking their shit down tight!