Recent content by indiana

Last night I went to see a friend for coffee. We had a good time catching up, drinking tea, and talking about the world. I went back to his place to see his new home and while there we smoked some pot. I have just recently started smoking again, for the last few years I have stayed away from it...

So I'm having a minor melt down, maybe this is part of a minor catharsis? I went out to a friends tonight to make dinner and catch up and while there I started getting anxiety. -Anxiety about being in a reboot, she made an off hand conversation about masturbation, nothing overtly sexual just...

Rejection, that cold feeling that makes you want to run back home and hide under the covers. I started having a hard time with rejection around the same time I got involved with PMO and it compounded over the coming years. At the worst times, I had no friends, only a few people to call, I had...

**I've tried writing this all day, grappling with being concise. I posted an earlier version and later retracted it.I apologize if it's too long, or somewhat meandering, and I'm so grateful to everyone who reads and gives me any input. I hope this one does the job.** I had sex. I went to go...

A women I have been intimate with in the past, and am incredibly attracted to, told me the other day that she had strong feelings for me and that she wanted me to fly out and visit. I told her I couldn't because I had other things going on, but I've thought about her a lot since and I'm not sure...

I'm here, still doing well but I've been all over the place emotionally. From feeling good about getting back into recovery, moving towards being the man I want to be, to feeling utterly defeated and suicidal. Today I was planning on going for a long run, then depression overtook me and I curled...

I first realized I had a problem with porn years ago, compulsivity, escalation, and an inability to stop in spite of the tolls it was taking on my life. I had PIED at times with multiple girlfriends as well as treating women like I would see in porn. I came across yourbrainonporn about four...