Porn is not an option
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Blondie
Respected Member
In life, when it comes to our personal goals, the question that inevitably comes up is, are we getting the results we want or not? And if not, why not? Whether it's in our careers, our jobs, our relationships, our fitness goals, grades or whatnot, that is the imperative question. Are we actually getting the results we want? Take grades for example, some people care about them, some people don't, but I definitely do, and if they're starting to fall, there's only two reasons as to why that is happening.
1. Either my method of studying is flawed and needs to be changed or modified, or
2. I'm not working hard enough and I'm full of excuses.
Of course, it could also be both, which is a double whammy for failure.
Now if we look at this when it comes to our battle with porn, the same questions can be asked.
1. Either my method of recovery is flawed and needs to be changed or modified; or
2. I'm not working hard enough and I'm full of excuses.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't personally want to be here at RN for the rest of my life. Either we're getting results or were not, there is no gray area here. For example, if one has been trying to lose weight for three years but has not achieved anything remotely close to their goal, then there is something fundamentally flawed with their approach. Of course, this doesn't automatically mean the said person is "lazy" or "fat", no, is just means that whatever they're doing is not working and they need to go back to the drawing board to figure out the weaknesses in their plan of attack.
I say this as I'm approaching six years of fighting this battle, having started the fight in 2018. Six fucking years! That's a humbling thought indeed. Although I've been clean most of that time, we all know I've not exactly been a perfect cowboy, and that I've strung many a shit-stain throughout this rodeo.
Am I doing enough?
Am I doing enough?
Am I doing enough?
Reflecting on those two questions above and how I've changed or modified my methods over the past years, one thing in particular stands out to me. Honesty. This truth has been reconfirmed to me over this last relapse, when I started to lie again to cover my shit stains. You see, that's the problem with shit stains, you can't hide them even when you think you can, because not only does it smell for your partner (even if they don't fully understand where the foul stench is coming from) it "smells" for you as well and hinders your full recovery. I mean let's be honest, how can anyone fully recover while walking through their house leaving piles of cow shit down the dusty hallway? Although it might be "possible" that a godlike man could do this Herculean feat alone, it's not practical and adds twice the workload than if he just fessed up and told the truth. For example, when you track cow paddies down the living room and into the bedroom, you have two options before the Lady of the house sees your shit. Either hide the evidence by throwing the shit stained rugs into the hall closet, or spend unnecessary hours on your knees like a dog cleaning this god forsaken shit up before you're caught in the act. Why spend all this extra work instead of just telling the damned truth? All of this brings unnecessary anxiety and all the hours wiping away your tracks could have been spent on more productive things like your actual recovery and facing life on its own terms. Of course, I'm well aware that not every Lady of the house is as "shit friendly" as mine, and some might even kick your ass to the doghouse if disclosed. However, I might remind the dear reader that every Lady has her shit limit, and mine was when I tracked cam pies throughout the house at the beginning of the year, so trust me, I do understand your "shity" situation.
But of course, for some of us, it might be worse than just the doghouse, disclosing this addiction could rightly be the harbinger of a nasty divorce or breakup. So yes, I don't judge a man for keeping his secrets, I get it, I really do, however, I would urge you and myself to ask this pertinent question, what do we value more, the possibility of a relationship built upon lies destroyed, or the possibility of actually being able to get over this addiction once and for all? I don't have statistics to prove this point, but I can't imagine many addicts (either alcoholics or drugs addicts) ever got over their addictions by themselves, it just doesn't work that way. Every addict has had their moment when the shit hits the fan, and they had to face the reality of their actions, even if their actions were influenced by their addiction. Just because we've hidden the shit stained rug in the hall closet doesn't mean it's not there in our lives. It still smells. It still hurts our women. And more importantly, it hurts us even more and obstructs us from reaching our goal, that is, absolute freedom from this shit.
Thus, going back to those two questions at the beginning of this post, I can truly say that telling the truth and living in the truth, not just with my Lady but with myself as well, has dramatically helped my recovery. Furthermore, whenever I've failed to do that in my life is when I've gotten into trouble again. Lessons hopefully learned this time around.
Well those are my thoughts as I approach 82 days porn free, that being the furthest I've been away from porn in the last 6 months. I can't tell you how excited I am to reach this milestone. Every day away from that shit is one more glorious day in the books.
Fuck porn and fuck throwing my shit stained rugs into the closet!
Love you all.
1. Either my method of studying is flawed and needs to be changed or modified, or
2. I'm not working hard enough and I'm full of excuses.
Of course, it could also be both, which is a double whammy for failure.
Now if we look at this when it comes to our battle with porn, the same questions can be asked.
1. Either my method of recovery is flawed and needs to be changed or modified; or
2. I'm not working hard enough and I'm full of excuses.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't personally want to be here at RN for the rest of my life. Either we're getting results or were not, there is no gray area here. For example, if one has been trying to lose weight for three years but has not achieved anything remotely close to their goal, then there is something fundamentally flawed with their approach. Of course, this doesn't automatically mean the said person is "lazy" or "fat", no, is just means that whatever they're doing is not working and they need to go back to the drawing board to figure out the weaknesses in their plan of attack.
I say this as I'm approaching six years of fighting this battle, having started the fight in 2018. Six fucking years! That's a humbling thought indeed. Although I've been clean most of that time, we all know I've not exactly been a perfect cowboy, and that I've strung many a shit-stain throughout this rodeo.
Am I doing enough?
Am I doing enough?
Am I doing enough?
Reflecting on those two questions above and how I've changed or modified my methods over the past years, one thing in particular stands out to me. Honesty. This truth has been reconfirmed to me over this last relapse, when I started to lie again to cover my shit stains. You see, that's the problem with shit stains, you can't hide them even when you think you can, because not only does it smell for your partner (even if they don't fully understand where the foul stench is coming from) it "smells" for you as well and hinders your full recovery. I mean let's be honest, how can anyone fully recover while walking through their house leaving piles of cow shit down the dusty hallway? Although it might be "possible" that a godlike man could do this Herculean feat alone, it's not practical and adds twice the workload than if he just fessed up and told the truth. For example, when you track cow paddies down the living room and into the bedroom, you have two options before the Lady of the house sees your shit. Either hide the evidence by throwing the shit stained rugs into the hall closet, or spend unnecessary hours on your knees like a dog cleaning this god forsaken shit up before you're caught in the act. Why spend all this extra work instead of just telling the damned truth? All of this brings unnecessary anxiety and all the hours wiping away your tracks could have been spent on more productive things like your actual recovery and facing life on its own terms. Of course, I'm well aware that not every Lady of the house is as "shit friendly" as mine, and some might even kick your ass to the doghouse if disclosed. However, I might remind the dear reader that every Lady has her shit limit, and mine was when I tracked cam pies throughout the house at the beginning of the year, so trust me, I do understand your "shity" situation.
But of course, for some of us, it might be worse than just the doghouse, disclosing this addiction could rightly be the harbinger of a nasty divorce or breakup. So yes, I don't judge a man for keeping his secrets, I get it, I really do, however, I would urge you and myself to ask this pertinent question, what do we value more, the possibility of a relationship built upon lies destroyed, or the possibility of actually being able to get over this addiction once and for all? I don't have statistics to prove this point, but I can't imagine many addicts (either alcoholics or drugs addicts) ever got over their addictions by themselves, it just doesn't work that way. Every addict has had their moment when the shit hits the fan, and they had to face the reality of their actions, even if their actions were influenced by their addiction. Just because we've hidden the shit stained rug in the hall closet doesn't mean it's not there in our lives. It still smells. It still hurts our women. And more importantly, it hurts us even more and obstructs us from reaching our goal, that is, absolute freedom from this shit.
Thus, going back to those two questions at the beginning of this post, I can truly say that telling the truth and living in the truth, not just with my Lady but with myself as well, has dramatically helped my recovery. Furthermore, whenever I've failed to do that in my life is when I've gotten into trouble again. Lessons hopefully learned this time around.
Well those are my thoughts as I approach 82 days porn free, that being the furthest I've been away from porn in the last 6 months. I can't tell you how excited I am to reach this milestone. Every day away from that shit is one more glorious day in the books.
Fuck porn and fuck throwing my shit stained rugs into the closet!
Love you all.
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
100% brother, it always makes you feel like shit to take the near term gratification over the long term with anything really. It takes a while to work up the motivation but once you do it's like a rush of cold water that washes out the temptations
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Great, insightful post man. You are right, I don't think any of us want or should be on Reboot Nation in 10yrs. Honestly not even in 5yrs. Because if we are, it means we've consistently messed up and are still stuck in this loop.
I've been having a pity party for the past day -- your post really helped me realize that we are all going through tough crap, really puts things in perspective. Might be different challenges for each of us, but we are all facing struggles.
Reminds me of the Anna Karanina principle (every happy family is the same, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way) -- the path to living a free, true, content life is filled with poop. We're all going to step in some poop at some point, but there's a difference between the guy who on occasion steps in it vs. the guy who hasn't taken a clean step in the past 5yrs. Great stuff man
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 82
207.9lb.
It feels great to be here today. I haven't been this far out in six months. Now off to 90 days and beyond.
Best brother.
207.9lb.
It feels great to be here today. I haven't been this far out in six months. Now off to 90 days and beyond.
Yes it really does. It feels fun if you do it once and a while, but if you do it all the time, the fun is minimal and then add the the weight gain, definitely no fun.
I'm glad it could help you @First_step_thousand_miles. Yes we all have something we're facing in life. I hope your pity party has ended and you're back on track! I know how those go.
Best brother.
Ezel
Respected Member
champion. keep doing your thing king, god bless...
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Love that you're including the weight man -- holding yourself accountable! Just some tips from my boy Andrew Huberman (who just got outed for having 5 women on rotation lol) on weight loss:
- Yerba mate tea (I drink it daily)
- Fidgeting (burns hundreds of calories a day)
This is on top of the main stuff of calorie deficit and working out. Can't wait to see you at 100 days and below 200lb man!
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 83
207.2lb.
Best man
207.2lb.
Thanks Brother @Ezel. You too king!
Thanks brother, I think it helps to post it here, because if I splurge on something and go back up in weight it will help keep me accountable.
The real deal is always better than porn. I always figured that guy could smash it if he so desired, apparently he did. Oops.
Thanks for the tip. This is interesting, are you saying I should start picking my nails again? I've never actually mentioned this on here before, but for years I've picked my nails, at least since I can remember (probably starting before I was even a teen) and only the last five months have I stopped the habit completely. I have tried for years and was never successful. My hands look better than they ever have in my entire life. It's great to not be anxious to have people see them anymore. They were often pretty fucking disgusting to look at. It's interesting the way our bodies/minds cope with our boredom and anxiety.
Me too, I can't wait to see that.
Best man
swimmer97
Active Member
already back at 83 days. this mans principles cannot be broken
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Haha not quite on the nails. Fidgeting the way Huberman described it was bobbing your head to music, shaking your leg while sitting down, tapping your foot, etcDay 83
207.2lb.
Thanks Brother @Ezel. You too king!
Thanks brother, I think it helps to post it here, because if I splurge on something and go back up in weight it will help keep me accountable.
The real deal is always better than porn. I always figured that guy could smash it if he so desired, apparently he did. Oops.
Thanks for the tip. This is interesting, are you saying I should start picking my nails again? I've never actually mentioned this on here before, but for years I've picked my nails, at least since I can remember (probably starting before I was even a teen) and only the last five months have I stopped the habit completely. I have tried for years and was never successful. My hands look better than they ever have in my entire life. It's great to not be anxious to have people see them anymore. They were often pretty fucking disgusting to look at. It's interesting the way our bodies/minds cope with our boredom and anxiety.
Me too, I can't wait to see that.
Best man
Studies show it can burn at least a few hundred calories if you do it throughout the day (not every second though obv), with some showing it can burn as much as 500+. So might be worth considering
Try the mate too, it's basically just caffeine with some antioxidants -- I think drinking it daily can burn an extra 75-100 calories so definitely helps
Blondie
Respected Member
Wow, that's quite amazing! I bob my head to music and tap my feet to the beat all the time, so I'll keep doing that.
I didn't realize Yerba Mate had caffeine. I'm a big fan of my morning coffee routine, however, I'm extremely sensitive to coffee, and a few years ago I got myself down to only two shots per day, nothing more nothing less. If I switched over to Yerba I would have to quit my coffee which probably isn't going to happen, but who knows, I could always give it a shot.
Thanks man
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Blondie
Respected Member
Day 84
206.4lb.
22.8% body fat
Keep killing it.
I hit it pretty hard yesterday on the diet, and it definitely showed this morning. I'll probably keep it this way until I get back to 200 or 20%, then slow it down a little.
6 more days!
206.4lb.
22.8% body fat
Thanks @swimmer97!
Keep killing it.
I hit it pretty hard yesterday on the diet, and it definitely showed this morning. I'll probably keep it this way until I get back to 200 or 20%, then slow it down a little.
6 more days!
GBS
Respected Member
Looking good mate. This 90 day recovery is impressive but for those who know what you did before (700+) I think it’s even more impressive. You’re doing this with the experience of (mild) failure behind you. Takes guts. Serious guts. Your backbone strength is that of a very strong man.
Oh……and “fuck porn”.
Oh……and “fuck porn”.
forceisstrong2
Active Member
Hey Blondie!
Great to see you are doing so well. 90 days is awesome. Keep it up brother.
Force
Great to see you are doing so well. 90 days is awesome. Keep it up brother.
Force