Unapplicable
Member
I wasn't there DaO, but to me it seems like maybe you read the date wrong and you seem to interpret things in quite a negative light. For example you asked the lassie out and she said something like 'Yeah, why not.' You seemed to interpret this is a flippant response, but it could more easily be assigned to humour to try and defuse the slightly embarrassing conversation. This is backed-up by the fact that you said she was blushing.
When you talk about the date itself, you put all the onus on her to make a romantic move... even though you're the one that asked her out! She was probably waiting for you to start talking about it! To me, when she accepted the date she indicated that she found you attractive in some way and wanted to get to know you more. You need to make your intentions clear I think, if you want to stop being seen as a friend.
In my experience the best way to do this, is to come clean. Get a few drinks in at the pub and say "Btw this is really awkward for me but I'm actually a virgin" or something like that. "This is why I'm sending out mixed signals because to be honest, I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" I said in my experience because this is what I did on the first official date with my girlfriend at age 24. It's daunting, but if you can see yourself in a long term relationship with this lady its worth being vulnerable, trusting her and letting fate decide the rest.
Regarding what you have in common and what you talk about, you don't need to have too much in common to engage in a free flowing conversation. I find the best relationships happen when people have shared values. So try talking about politics or news stories or the last book you read about white privilege. See if what falls out the tree is similar to your own values and you'll have made a much stronger connection that just "we work together".
When you talk about the date itself, you put all the onus on her to make a romantic move... even though you're the one that asked her out! She was probably waiting for you to start talking about it! To me, when she accepted the date she indicated that she found you attractive in some way and wanted to get to know you more. You need to make your intentions clear I think, if you want to stop being seen as a friend.
In my experience the best way to do this, is to come clean. Get a few drinks in at the pub and say "Btw this is really awkward for me but I'm actually a virgin" or something like that. "This is why I'm sending out mixed signals because to be honest, I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" I said in my experience because this is what I did on the first official date with my girlfriend at age 24. It's daunting, but if you can see yourself in a long term relationship with this lady its worth being vulnerable, trusting her and letting fate decide the rest.
Regarding what you have in common and what you talk about, you don't need to have too much in common to engage in a free flowing conversation. I find the best relationships happen when people have shared values. So try talking about politics or news stories or the last book you read about white privilege. See if what falls out the tree is similar to your own values and you'll have made a much stronger connection that just "we work together".
I certainly will not be repeating this mistake again. I will from now on instigate the romantic talk. (I just didn't want to do it on that occasion as it would have inevitably lead us towards 'my story' - which would have been too awkward and too early to tell. But I guess now I don't have a choice and will need to adopt a new strategy.)