I'm on my way!

[KW1989KW]

94 days

I am finding that I am loosing count of days. I keep having to go back and count haha. So where am I in my reboot?? Well, the night I came home from vacation I had a girl over for a relaxed wine and movie night. We cuddled on the couch and I will say for once I wasn't nervous about anything. I could tell I was getting aroused and I know she was too. I didn't react though.... It's okay. I am learning to not let the thought of performing scare me from enjoying the moment. I was relaxed and just let the night go as it chose to. I will have a chance next time I am sure of it.

Confidence is way up as I wanted to work on while on vacation. My feelings are up and down, but I'll take that as just life being life. A friend and I discussed relationships and he helped me to understand that I should be able to hang and have sex with a woman without the pressure of a relationship. He said if you and her both want to have fun, then a relationship is clearly not on her mind.

I will say that I am feeling a bit more up these days in terms of my "Men". Morning wood is great which is a huge plus from when I started this journey. I will say I MO'ed on the 90th day to sensation and to no fantasizing as a pat on the back and it felt okay. I was more sensitive than before the 90 days which is an improvement. Not really what I expected it to be. This is good though. I haven't thought about doing it since then. My focus is on landing my lady friend.

Goals this week are as follows:

1) Maintain my workout and improve on my lifting

2) Become more comfortable about being in a situation with a woman and not putting so much pressure on a relationship and more on the sex

3) Incorporate more thought and feeling into my meditation.

As you can see my focus is less and less on my men performing and more on ways to improve myself in many other ways. Forgetting about them allows you to live a little without that pressure of "OH WILL THEY WORK".

I'll keep you posted on my lady friend.

ImOnMyWay - to successful sex!!

 

[KW1989KW]

Morning all!!!

I'm going to start out by saying I am not keeping track of days anymore. I am more so keeping track of my progress and I will share that. Sorry I have been away awhile. I have been swamped at work coming off of my vacation. And having no internet or TV at home has made it hard to respond on here. Yes, I specifically didn't get internet or TV while going through this reboot to completely refocus. It has helped tremendously.

So, where am I in my reboot...... I am great!!! I have been more focused then ever. Focused at work, my life, my house, my business and how I am socializing with others. I am also more direct in my conversations. I make decisions quicker and more accurate. It is amazing what a couple extra hours in your day will do for productivity and self bettering instead of watching P. On to that note....P..... the thought of watching has become so non-existent and it feels awesome. I feel P no longer has a hold on me like it did in the past. My thoughts are consumed with real woman. Woman I have met, talked to, have had past relations with etc... I am looking forward to the time where my progress will work in bed!!! Just yesterday I was in line at the grocery store and as I made my way to the cashier I noticed she was really cute. I think she thought the same of me because I instantly felt that mutual eye contact shes cute/ she thinks I'm cute look! Then the blood started pumping as I spoke to her. You know what I mean guys/ gals?? Anyway, I'll pursue that at some point. My point on this is, I am noticing signs of my confidence building and the though of real woman building. Huge step for me in the right direction.

One thing I am still struggling with is; I feel as if my libido/ arousal is not where it should be yet. Maybe this is because I am constantly thinking about it?? I think there is room for improvement in this category. Something I am just going to have to be patient with. Can't have it all this early on.

Focus for the week:

1) Keep building the confidence (Working out and meditating helps with this).

2) Socialize with new groups, thus opening a door to a potential new lady. ))

3) Keep focusing on bettering myself. I've been thinking about getting my real estate licence! We shall see.

Keep up the good work all,

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

It's been a great couple of days. I have been really focused on my daily work and my activities outside of work. Takes your mind off of things for a bit. After discussing on Monday how I didn't feel my libido coming back the way I thought it would, I had these sudden spurts of arousal through the day and that night. I went to bed extremely horny thinking of a girl I may have the opportunity to date..... We shall see how this pans out. The next day I was just as aroused haha. Funny how the body works. If you just let it do what it needs to do and you take care of it, things work out fine. Also, the sun has been out for three days straight. Let's just say the weather here has been a complete drag for months. Finally feeling that sense of Summer. This puts me in an even better state of mind knowing I am in shape, meditating, focused and ready to enjoy the Summer months worry free about my past/ not so much present issue.

Something I also wanted to share is that there are a lot of men and woman going through similar problems as us that have no clue the problem even exists. I encourage everyone to talk about their issue to anyone they can. Not only does it help you, it educates others of an issue that is so abstruse.  Also, educate yourself. Learn what this reboot is all about. Understand the issue at hand. When you can educate yourself you can educate others. Thus, making a full circle.

Good luck all,

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

Good morning/ afternoon depending on where you are.

Couple of things to quickly touch on that I experienced over the weekend. Something that I am learning is that my arousal state/ libido is constantly up and down. Wondering when this will be a bit more balanced..... I notice I am very horny in the AM, not so much in the day and an okay level at night. This fluctuates constantly. When I am out with friends and I see a woman I am interested in I am almost looking for a sudden reaction down below which I need to stop doing. It's a mind game really. It almost deters me from striking a conversation with someone. Is anyone else experiencing weird in and out libido/ arousal?

(Trigger warning)
I have introduced MO'ing again. Once a week maybe if that with light touch and only when I feel horny. I do not force myself to MO like I did prior to my reboot. Before it was almost a routine. Now it's only when I feel good. I have found when I am most relaxed and comfortable it feels better (usually after meditating). It's just nowhere near the feeling of a real woman. So I am trying to stay away from doing it so when I do experience the real thing again it will feel amazing.

One thing I have been really happy with is my physical shape. I have been working out steady and trying to eat better. A few people have noticed over the weekend and mentioned that I looked good. Puts a smile on my face that people are noticing.

Another thing that I am happy with is that I am completely P free with no thoughts of looking and no urges what so ever. From looking at P 5 times a week to nothing cold turkey is an accomplishment for me and I am beyond thrilled with it.

Hope everyone is on the right track.

Best,

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

In need of some advice! I feel as if I have been going through a small flat-line which is odd after being P free for a very good length of time. My sex drive just seems to be off and oddly low. I have MO'ed 3 times since my 90 day refocus and feel this may be the issue. I have also been very stressed at work which could have a huge impact on how I am feeling. I am going to abstain from any MO'ing and see if that helps.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any thought on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

I'll try not to focus on it for the time being and see if it passes.

Thanks All,

ImOnMyWay

 

[Sandler9]

I'm still reading and following your story everyday hoping for you to post something new. Remember me? I am the guy who thinks my story is very similar to yours.

I am currently on day 80 (I wrote down the starting date and had to use a day-calculator to find out how many days I've stopped using porn and masturbation. I think you are like 10-15 days ahead of me.

Like I said, I haven't MO'd since the 28th of february and haven't watched porn since the end of january somewhere. I think you should really stop MO'ing. Without using scientific proof whatsoever, I believe your body needs some kind of rest. In my opinion, a reset works by giving your body the rest it deserves after using it wrongly for such a long time. I'm 100% sure after some time we will start to receive some signs we are ready for the next step.

For me personally, the situation hasn't changed much. I remember at the beginning of my reboot (after 2-3 weeks) I had a few morning woods, but I rarely wake up with any anymore. I don't get spontanious erections during the day and it's not like I have alot of trouble staying away from P/MO. But I'm not worrying at all. I've started swimming a few weeks ago to work on my body (not fat at all, just a little tummy I'd like to get rid off). I'm convinced one day I will start seeing small changes that will boost my confidence. One thing I'm convinced that has changed, is my mental state. I used to feel really bad at times and that's completely gone. I am happy, I laugh and I rarely have a day where I'm feeling bad or sad.

It would be pretty cool if the both of us made it to the end of our reboot. Stop M'ing. Give yourself atleast a couple more months before you start touching yourself. Keep posting updates and any differences you notice. Any progress you make is a step in the right direction. Even a day without MO and P can be seen as progress. Good luck to you!

 

[KW1989KW]

Sandler9,

I absolutely remember you! Congrats on the 80 days too. Well done. Such a good feeling to be P free I will say. I appreciate you commenting and giving some advice. I think you are correct and I like your positive thinking. I need to just let this whole thing pan out and to stop worrying about it. I actually have not MO'ed since last weekend as I explained in the last post. So that is good. I am gong to refrain from doing it from here out. One of the other forums talks about Monk mode and I think I need to stay with that. I was happier before when I just stopped and let things happen. We get so caught up on the when and stop focusing on the now.

Work has been extra stressful, so I can blame some of my lack there of on that. Need to keep meditating to relieve that stress.

Something new to share, I have started an online talk show with my therapist. Basically it's like an online discussion of the reboot/ refocus where people call in to discuss their issues and how we can help. It's rewarding knowing that I can help others with similar problems as I. I will get the information so anyone can call in for advice. Stay tuned for that!!!

I am going to start posting again on my progress. It's been extremely hectic at work and I have not found the time to get on here and post. And without internet at home, I can't post there.... My apologize to all.

My goal and focus for this upcoming week is to not really focus on the libido/ sex drive at all. To focus strictly on the meditation, the bettering of myself, my hobbies and my workouts. That's it.

Have a great weekend all,

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

So after a rough week last week I refocused and got myself together. This past weekend was extremely productive. I have noticed my energy level and focus have been intense lately. I am more productive on my daily activities and in the business I am in "time is money!"

Something I've noticed, was while refocusing through my reboot, I was happier with life and the things I enjoy doing. I am going to continue this mentality and see the next stage of progression. I kind of stopped doing a couple things I had started at the beginning of the reboot. Almost right around the 90-100 day stride due to little time and my busy work schedule. I am learning that I need to keep doing the things I enjoy because that in turn reduces stress. Stress for me seems to be my biggest hindrance. I need to find a way to relieve this so I can be happy. It also plays a huge part on the lack of sex drive which I want to start working a bit better.

I will say this the morning woods are extremely strong and I am waking up pretty aroused and horny. HAHA. This fades as I get up for the day though.... Also, since the reboot I have some of the most vivid dreams. Most of them including someone I am attracted to. Something I am stopping is MO'ing. I tried a couple times after the 90 days and feel that it really wasn't all that great. I also felt bad the next day about it which brought me down. I'm sure there are a lot of people on here that can relate. I'm going to see how this pans out for a few weeks. Trial and error until success!


Things to focus on this week:

1) Meditating

2) Stress Relief

3) No MO'ing

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

Feeling great the last couple of days. I've stayed focused and it's proving to work. Finding ways to decrease stress is difficult, but every little bit helps. My new stress relief is working around my house. I find myself thinking about projects constantly. When I check them off the list it's like this sudden sense of ease comes over me. Plus, I'll have a nice looking place when all said and done.

I noticed with the stress lowering I had some intense feelings yesterday to have one of my lady friends over because I was so in the mood. She has been texting me quite a bit about hanging out. She even brought up giving me a massage . HAHA. I'm all in. I feel we are on the same page too in terms of expectations. So I may test the boundaries on this one a bit. I'll keep you all posted.

Today is good. Hope to keep this streak going.

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

Hello all,

I had a discussion the other night on my online talk show with my therapist about something I think can relate to a lot of people. And that is the transitional phase from what was a visual excitement/ arousal feeling (watching porn) to a now emotional more meaningful phase of excitement/ arousal (reality). We became so entrapped in a mindset where we became horny based on the thought of P and the visuals P provided. We are transitioning into a more normal state of mind. We are not supposed to be horny and aroused at all points of the day. Instead we are to focus on the things that really need to get done. When the time comes to enjoy sex, that is when we become fully aroused. It has taken me a bit of time to realize this since I am not with a partner while rebooting and not experiencing full arousal for the real thing yet. I kept thinking I was going to be horny all the time because I wasn't MO'ing daily or watching P daily. This is not true. I am understanding that I am transitioning into a more normal state of mind. I am a man of emotion and I am not afraid of stating this. I need to feel something with a woman to be fully aroused. It's just who I am. Some people are the opposite, but that is okay. In the end this journey is about finding myself. Starting a new me and not worrying about others.

I hope this brings some sense of ease to anyone experiencing the same thing.

Have a great weekend all.

ImOnMyWay - To a lonnnnggg relaxed weekend!

 

[KW1989KW]

So it's been about 123 days of my reboot and much longer since watching P. I can say I am very happy about both. But I am not in the place I thought I would be at in this stage of the game in terms of my sex life. I have none at the moment haha. And you know what, I need to accept that. I long for a meaningful relationship with someone. I know when I find that right person I will be happy in all aspects of my life including my sex life. Of course I want to bring someone home and test my progress and maybe that will happen. Or maybe it won't. I just need to be more positive in how I think about these things and let them roll as they come. I need to stop looking for that reaction in my pants every time I go out. This is unhealthy and highly unproductive.

So what are some of the changes I have noticed:

1) I have morning wood everyday.

2) My dreams are often vivid filled with people I know and woman I have been attracted too.

3)My meditation was on and off the last couple of weeks. I need to be more consistent with it. I have found this brings immense relief to my stressful days.

4) If I am aroused or tease, I am able to maintain an erection for a good period of time I have noticed. This is an improvement.

5) I am very focused throughout the day and seem to get a hell of a lot done. I am not focused on going home and PMO'ing like I used to. P doesn't even cross my mind anymore until I discuss it's non-effects on this forum.

6) I noticed I was becoming less consistent with my reboot as it went on. Instead of meditating everyday it was every other day. Or my better eating faltered a bit. Or I didn't continue reading the new books I had bought. If I can say anything it is to continue with those new hobbies or goals. It often makes us happier when we are accomplishing the things we set out to do.

So I will continue on with this refocus striving to better myself in every way possible.

Here's to all of you working through this reboot!!!

ImOnMyWay

 

[Sandler9]

It's a good thing you realise you shouldn't be fully 'cured' yet. I honestly think we will at some point notice bigger changes to our body. Together with our confidence that's been growing, we will be succesful at some point. I really think we should give it all the time our body needs. Maybe it's a few more months, maybe it's half a year or even up to a year? I think we both are determined to reach our mutual goal.

Just think of this: would you have thought to be where you are right now? We used to masturbate to P multiple times a day. Mostly out of boredom in my case. Now we both shifted our focus to more important things in life and I don't know about you, but I'm really starting to notice the benefits of this.

We must be persistant because one day one of us will reach our goal. I'm not only looking for a healthy sexlife, I'm also looking for a girlfriend to spend time with, stability in my life, general hapiness.. It's just that my non-existing sexlife caused all the other problems I just mentioned. At the moment, my confidence is too low to start getting to know new girls or to date with girls I already know. But I'm sure in maybe 1 or 2 months I will take the step and eventually test my progress. From what I read, you are a very fluent guy who's got no problems to getting to know girls. I kinda am the same. I'm actually a sales representative and I talk with several people on a daily basis. I feel confident with girls to a certain point. When I feel things are getting too serious or there's even the smallest chance that I end up in bed with a girl, I stop contact or keep it to a minimum (or strictly friendly). All because I fear ending up with a negative feeling when I can't get my soldier up.

I can't wait to once again go past that border and start actually dating again in 1 or 2 months, maybe 3.

Don't forget why we're doing this mate. Keep going, you're doing one hell of a job and I'm sure our efforts will pay of at some point.

Good luck and enjoy the weekend!

 

[KW1989KW]

Thanks for checking in Sandler9. I appreciate the info and kind words. I agree with everything you stated. I am realizing this reboot is a lot more than just refraining from P, but a chance to better my life. And it is proving to work.

I have found that consistency in what we are doing through this reboot is key. If you continue to stay on the path following the routine we have set for ourselves, we will make the finish line. There will be bumps and failure, but overall success. Last week and through the weekend I noticed my libido kicking in a bit more than usual. A great sign of recovery. I had that urge to want like I did as a teenager. I even struck a conversation with a lady I have had a crush on for quite some time. I would have been hesitant to do this prior to my reboot. I was also at a gas station and caught a lady staring at my backside.... seems to me the workout routine is working. I passed her a wink and smiled. Next time I'll build up the courage to strike a convo as my accountability partner said I should!

I am also trying to put on a happier face regardless of the stresses throughout the day. Your happiness and welcoming domineer attracts people and the possibility of a lady friend. Positive thoughts just tend to make the day go by easier.

So a topic I am sure everyone goes through after their reboot is the thought of MO'ing. Since I do not have a lady friend at the moment it is hard to resist a release. I tested this and found that as much as it feels good in that moment, it wears off and the libido dives back down again for me. I will say though that when I did MO it was far more relaxing than it used to be with P. I focused on feeling, thought, touch and less on images of woman I like. What is amazing is I do not recall any P or models I used to like while doing so. I can honestly say the thought of watching P makes me sick. So, with that being said I am going to refrain from MO'ing. I'd like to see where this leads and go from there.

Overall, a successful weekend filled with a lot of thought and recollection on past and present.

Hope all are ding well.

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

Hello All,

Just keeping in touch. I'm sticking with my no MO'ing plan. I feel like it's working. My urges for the real thing are really starting to come back. Not everyday am I off the wall horny, but more like the mornings and late evenings. Manageable!!

Something I would like to share is, without having a girl around to play or experiment with on my progress I can understand how P can be tsing to start up again. Not being around a womanly figure almost makes you want to see something, BUT you must resist. Do not let P take over your mind. Your mind is almost telling you it's okay to look, but in reality do you really want to go through another 90 day reboot???? NOOOO!!!!! Do everything you must to stay way from P. Go back to focusing on something else when the urge strikes. (Cold shower, call someone, go for a ride, go for a walk in public) I had an urge the other night to look, but told myself no and moved on.

Anyway, keep up the good work y'all!!!

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

I have to apologize for not getting on here more. So where am I in the reboot.... I am great. I feel like I have gotten a lot of ulterior objectives completed on my refocus list. I am eating better, I am in what I feel is my best shape physically and emotionally since college, I have made goals in my career and have surpassed them, I am completely focused on bettering me, I am much more confident when talking to woman and I am learning to deal with stress differently.

Something that is still bothering me is my confidence in bed. I have not been able to test the waters as of yet and it kind of freaks me out. I can't tell you how much I want to be with someone and feel that connection again. I do not want to rush anything, but that's how I feel.

Something I want to share is P crossed my mind the other night and instead of acting on it, I let the thought go. Just let it roll right off my shoulder and moved on to doing something else. What an incredible feeling to just say no to your own self thinking. So to all of you, stay away from P!!!! It will do nothing to help you. Refocus your thoughts and move past it. Just think of how long you used to sit in front of the computer watching meaningless P.... and now.... you can say you're P free. It's a great feeling.

Anyway, anyone have any good advise or have been through similar situations of being so nervous about sex it scares you a bit?

ImOnMyWay

 

[a_opal]

Hey man, congratulations on the reboot, you're absolutely killing it!

So during my journey I had increased sexual contact around January to March with multiple women. You know what they say, women are like buses. I didn't rush into it and I was successful with them all under foreplay, I think the fact it's more similar to masturbation allowed me to maintain my erection. This lead to increasing my libido and I attempted to have sex with one of them, I failed massively. I obviously had not recovered properly, couldn't maintain an erection and this lead to me relapsing. To stop you experiencing the same thing I would ease into it but also be 100% honest about your situation. A problem shared is a problem halved. I told all my partners during that time that I had some problems down there and confidence issues (nothing too specific as I was embarrassed, but I'm going to be 100% honest going forward) and it was generally well received. Turns out most people are in general nervous around sex. Telling them about my confidence issues and past failings took a lot of pressure off me and although I failed, I believe it bodes well for the future and I've learned a lot.

With regards to meeting the women, you need to just start interacting, high fives strangers in the street, say hello to girls you think are pretty, nothing extreme but build that confidence. My biggest advice is to always say yes when your friends invite you out, you never know who you could meet and it beats laying around being tempted to PMO.

Overall, congratulations on your reboot, the next step is to get out your comfort zone (which will actually be very fun), be honest about your issue and say yes to opportunities! Do not be scared of failure, I learnt a lot from mine.

 

[KW1989KW]

a_opal,

Thank you for the advise and the kind words. I have to apologize for the lack of response..... I became so entrapped in my new found hobbies and better lifestyle that I veered away from this, which I regret. I will say that it has been a very difficult journey and still is. I am becoming more comfortable about being around woman and just being myself and you know what, its working. I was on a wine tour and the prettiest girl (TO ME) on that bus somehow stuck to me like glue. She left her friends and came to talk to me, asked me to sit next to her on the bus....etc. I told her I had a party coming up that she should come to. She smiled, laughed and said I am absolutely coming. So...... I have a huge opportunity coming up that I am beyond excited for and I'll be honest extremely nervous about. I am trying to calm myself down a bit in the meantime. I like that you were honest with these other woman. You are most correct that a lot of people are in the same boat and are just as nervous. Honesty takes some of the stress out of it.

I will say that P is a little devil..... I thought that it was gone and out of my life forever until one day..... I was looking through Instagram and boom pictures of girls in bikinis popped up on the search picture menu. Naturally I was already high-strung from not MO'ing in a while and so I clicked on one of the pics which went to a page of censored nude woman. Well, yes I became aroused... very aroused.... instead of looking and spending hours scrolling through the images I left the page and thought about my progress. I am taking this as a learning experience and not as a relapse. I saw something and then left. It's been three weeks since then and I haven't wanted to look again.

I guess this just goes to show you how easy it is to get back into a past routine/ bad habit. If I can say anything it is to stick with your new routine, workout, meditation schedule for it is what gets you through. I fell off the routine for a bit and am slowly working my way back up again. I will say it makes a huge difference in your overall well being. TRUST ME ON THIS!!!

Also, if there is anyone out there that is taking a bit longer to feel the positives, it's OK. I am still up and down and learning to cope with it. Its LIFE as we become adults.

Best,
ImOnMyWay

 

[jennyhannb]

Good story. Over time, all transfers will be fine. happy wheels

 

[KW1989KW]

jennyhannb,

Thank you for the kind words. Restarting my meditation has been a key component to my mental well being and focus. It's hard to believe that 20 minutes out of my day to reflect has such an impact. It allows me to relax and de-stress. I will also say my confidence has been around an 85% of 100%. Which for me is excellent. Talking to women has become easier and easier and I am starting to not allow the expectation of sex scare me. It is a tough thing to overcome and anyone who says otherwise is crazy. Okay not crazy.... just different than I. I still have not done anything other than make out with a woman since this reboot, but I sure am looking forward to when I do. I know I will be ready and I know I will be honest with not only myself, but also with my partner when the time does come. I need to relax and enjoy the moment. I get too stressed about the thought of it that I often pulled myself away from the situation. NOT HAPPENING THIS TIME. Hopefully it like riding a bike..... you never really forget!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL! Best of luck to everyone.

ImOnMyWay

 

[KW1989KW]

Still trucking forward. Many ups and many downs. Must be life..... and stress..... ugghh. The last two weeks I have been really focused on getting my house situated and remodeled. The pressure to get it done before the holidays is certainly hitting me right in the face. I also have not been going to bed on time which I feel plays a huge role on stress and how the body feels the next day. I will definitely focus on getting to bed earlier.

I have seen an okay amount of progress, but nowhere near where I thought I would be at this time. It's really odd, there are days every one or two weeks or so that I am off the wall aroused and weeks where I can go without really needing anything or feeling anything down south. Maybe that's just normal and prior to learning all of this we were caught up on P thinking it was normal to PMO/ MO every day... Just a guess/ thought. I do know if I am not feeling aroused and I lightly touch myself I do get aroused. So maybe when I am with a woman my men should work when it gets hot and heavy. I have not had sex with anyone yet and I'm anxious to feel that fun again. Hopefully sooner than later.

All I know is P is still not on my mind and I have successfully stayed away from it.

To moving forward!

Best to all,

ImOnMyWay