Blondie
Respected Member
I love this!
Some days I feel that old familiar cocoon wrapping itself around me again, thus I have to re-burst out of it once more! It's definitely a two steps forward one step back type of thing.
My future is awesome!
- Thread starter TakeActionNow
- Start date
Some days I feel that old familiar cocoon wrapping itself around me again, thus I have to re-burst out of it once more! It's definitely a two steps forward one step back type of thing.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
I love this!
Some days I feel that old familiar cocoon wrapping itself around me again, thus I have to re-burst out of it once more! It's definitely a two steps forward one step back type of thing.
@Blondie
I guess one of the reasons i spend so much time writing philosophy against addiction is to drill in as much automation and negatives as possible against bad habits.
That last YouTube video between rich roll and chadd wright also emphasized the importance of vocalizing our intentions. Vocalizing give us power and affirmation, and can help us through dark times.
I still get those calls too. I guess it will never leave me. But like the stigma of incarceration, the past only haunts us if we allow it to. Lets move forward and leave the bad friends and influences behind. We are living in a lush garden now. No need to return to the slumps. Let's fill our lives with high quality people, good men such as you.
You are the pillar in this community and we can all stand tall together. You are my brother. We will not falter.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
There are different kinds of people in this world.
Some stand tall and help others
Some mind their own business
Some go forward by stepping on others.
The porn and vice industry is filled with people of the last. Whether intentional or coerced, association with them only brings harm and destruction of self and family.
These are not beautiful people.
They do not bring benefit to society.
They do not contribute nor improve.
They use greed and weakness of others for their own benefit.
They only bring downfall with bad ideals and corrupt values.
Don't let eyes and desire blind us from the truth.
Look with our minds and hearts to find what is truly beautiful in the life, and always aim for that.
Some stand tall and help others
Some mind their own business
Some go forward by stepping on others.
The porn and vice industry is filled with people of the last. Whether intentional or coerced, association with them only brings harm and destruction of self and family.
These are not beautiful people.
They do not bring benefit to society.
They do not contribute nor improve.
They use greed and weakness of others for their own benefit.
They only bring downfall with bad ideals and corrupt values.
Don't let eyes and desire blind us from the truth.
Look with our minds and hearts to find what is truly beautiful in the life, and always aim for that.
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TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Intermittent fasting as a discomfort enabler is really good.
1. Burn fat
2. Autophagy
3. More water drinking
4. Toughens me up
5. Greater focus
6. End of day joy
Win-win-win
A hungry person is a force to be reckoned with. Shit gets out of the way. More things get done.
Had I been fasting instead of wanking in my teens, I'll be a superhero today
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Intermittent fasting can reduce blood pressure, oxidative stress, and the risk of atherosclerosis (5, 10–12). One month of alternate-day fasting effectively lowers blood pressure and heart rate in healthy nonobese humans, suggesting that chronic fasting may enhance parasympathetic activity
1. Burn fat
2. Autophagy
3. More water drinking
4. Toughens me up
5. Greater focus
6. End of day joy
Win-win-win
A hungry person is a force to be reckoned with. Shit gets out of the way. More things get done.
Had I been fasting instead of wanking in my teens, I'll be a superhero today
Intermittent Fasting Inhibits High-Fat Diet-Induced Atherosclerosis by Ameliorating Hypercholesterolemia and Reducing Monocyte Chemoattraction - PubMed
Atherosclerosis is a major pathology for cardiovascular diseases (CVDs). Clinically, the intermittent fasting (IF) has been observed to reduce the risk of CVDs. However, the effect of IF on the development of atherosclerosis has not been fully elucidated. Herein, we determined the protection of...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Intermittent fasting can reduce blood pressure, oxidative stress, and the risk of atherosclerosis (5, 10–12). One month of alternate-day fasting effectively lowers blood pressure and heart rate in healthy nonobese humans, suggesting that chronic fasting may enhance parasympathetic activity
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TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Food and addiction are similar in relation like intermittent fasting and abstinence.
The former is about abundence and dependency while the latter is about strength and independence.
The former is about abundence and dependency while the latter is about strength and independence.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Challenge is what makes us stronger.
Indulgence makes us weaker.
Addiction is indulgence.
Look for challenges in life
Build ourselves up.
Let go of indulgences
Indulgence makes us weaker.
Addiction is indulgence.
Look for challenges in life
Build ourselves up.
Let go of indulgences
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
The modern day has many conveniences.
Internet also bring in information from everywhere.
But modernity doesn't change fundementals. Hard work and effort is still the root and requirement for success and happiness.
Yet internet is mostly about enjoyment, pleasure, having it easy and having it all. These values and ideals are not aligned with reality.
Internet also bring in information from everywhere.
But modernity doesn't change fundementals. Hard work and effort is still the root and requirement for success and happiness.
Yet internet is mostly about enjoyment, pleasure, having it easy and having it all. These values and ideals are not aligned with reality.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
IT IS DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN
I am 75% done w painting.
I wish it would be over sooner.
It is dark now. All I want is conclusion.
This thought is giving me pain.
I have forgotten:
1. Every action is an opportunity to learn and become better
2. Every action is a practice in self management
3. Focusing on what I don't want does nothing to help me to get to where I want
4. Prioritizing feelings over intention results in no achievement.
Need to learn to be present with
Whatever I am doing
Wherever I am
Whatever the weather
Be one with ms
There are still many practices I need to improve on. I am focusing too much on the undesirables. I have been lazy for too long. I need to get this engine going
I am 75% done w painting.
I wish it would be over sooner.
It is dark now. All I want is conclusion.
This thought is giving me pain.
I have forgotten:
1. Every action is an opportunity to learn and become better
2. Every action is a practice in self management
3. Focusing on what I don't want does nothing to help me to get to where I want
4. Prioritizing feelings over intention results in no achievement.
Need to learn to be present with
Whatever I am doing
Wherever I am
Whatever the weather
Be one with ms
There are still many practices I need to improve on. I am focusing too much on the undesirables. I have been lazy for too long. I need to get this engine going
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Blondie
Respected Member
Absolutely!
Same here. I feel like I'm a broken record around here sometimes, but it is the only way for me to get that information to stick somewhere in my subconscious. Whatever I write, it's always for me first or foremost, because it's what I need to hear that day, though I hope it helps someone else as well.
Beautiful, I totally agree. I don't know if it will ever completely go away (the call that is) but I can say it's sounding less and less as I go on, which makes me very happy.
I'm pretty sure I'm just a dude who writes way too much around here and, who can't take compliments very well
.We're all pillars in this community, and most definitely brothers.
As Ezel says, keep doing your thing!
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
@Blondie , you rock brother, you really do.
"Whatever I write, it's always for me first or foremost, because it's what I need to hear that day, though I hope it helps someone else as well."
That's 100% for me too. So glad we are on the same wavelength. If it helps me, I sure hope it'll help you too.
Chadd Wright's wife was a drug addict too. He spoke that "addicts are some of the best people on earth, if they can just get clean ... If they can break these chains" and I totally agree. Maybe we feel too much, and that made us get off on the wrong stop. But we're back on the bus of life now, and I know we'll help any and every one who wants to get back on, cos we've been there before too.
And @Ezel , if you're reading this, thank you for your support too. It means a lot. Cheers buddy!
"Whatever I write, it's always for me first or foremost, because it's what I need to hear that day, though I hope it helps someone else as well."
That's 100% for me too. So glad we are on the same wavelength. If it helps me, I sure hope it'll help you too.
Chadd Wright's wife was a drug addict too. He spoke that "addicts are some of the best people on earth, if they can just get clean ... If they can break these chains" and I totally agree. Maybe we feel too much, and that made us get off on the wrong stop. But we're back on the bus of life now, and I know we'll help any and every one who wants to get back on, cos we've been there before too.
And @Ezel , if you're reading this, thank you for your support too. It means a lot. Cheers buddy!
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
BUS OF LIFE
Sometimes (tonight) I feel I'm on the bus of life. There's no start or end, it's a journey that goes on and on until the bus breaks down and I can't go on anymore.
When I was addicted, I wasn't moving. I had gotten off the bus and stayed on the side of the road cos something had caught my attention, while everyone else zoom on by. It was the Sirens, in Homer, that had caught me, and I was trapped.
Last June I finally decided to cover my ears, and run back after my bus. While it's been hard trying to get aboard, and I've fallen off a few more times after starting, I kept at it and I'm finally back on. Wow, what a journey it has been so far! Bumpy, noisy, rough, smooth, fast, slow. So many experiences, so interesting and so surprising. The bus moves, life moves and I'm moving too. Don't look back, don't get off, left go of any baggage, and just hold on. The Sirens still sing, but I'm not having it anymore. I've grown to enjoy the bumpy roughness of the ride, and I am ever so slowly moving to the forward of the bus until I can sit on the driver's seat one day. Nobody said it was gonna be easy, but everything's gonna be good.
Everything's gonna be alright.
Sometimes (tonight) I feel I'm on the bus of life. There's no start or end, it's a journey that goes on and on until the bus breaks down and I can't go on anymore.
When I was addicted, I wasn't moving. I had gotten off the bus and stayed on the side of the road cos something had caught my attention, while everyone else zoom on by. It was the Sirens, in Homer, that had caught me, and I was trapped.
Last June I finally decided to cover my ears, and run back after my bus. While it's been hard trying to get aboard, and I've fallen off a few more times after starting, I kept at it and I'm finally back on. Wow, what a journey it has been so far! Bumpy, noisy, rough, smooth, fast, slow. So many experiences, so interesting and so surprising. The bus moves, life moves and I'm moving too. Don't look back, don't get off, left go of any baggage, and just hold on. The Sirens still sing, but I'm not having it anymore. I've grown to enjoy the bumpy roughness of the ride, and I am ever so slowly moving to the forward of the bus until I can sit on the driver's seat one day. Nobody said it was gonna be easy, but everything's gonna be good.
Everything's gonna be alright.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
DIPLOMA IN DISCIPLINE
The reboot process is actually a short life course that trains the skills of discipline and determination.
We're only addicts because we didn't practice discipline and indulged in lazy and pleasure seeking behaviors for far too long.
The rebooter through the rebooting process actually becomes a stronger, more independent and determined person. It's a maturing process. It's a life skill learned.
Just as we have to learn to fend for ourselves financially when we move out, we have to learn to manage our self care, emotions and direction as we become independent and take on more duties.
It's actually quite beneficial.
The reboot process is actually a short life course that trains the skills of discipline and determination.
We're only addicts because we didn't practice discipline and indulged in lazy and pleasure seeking behaviors for far too long.
The rebooter through the rebooting process actually becomes a stronger, more independent and determined person. It's a maturing process. It's a life skill learned.
Just as we have to learn to fend for ourselves financially when we move out, we have to learn to manage our self care, emotions and direction as we become independent and take on more duties.
It's actually quite beneficial.
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TakeActionNow
Respected Member
SUBMARINE ANALOGY
Water never seep into the submarine through the widest openings, but through the smallest cracks. It starts as a small drip, and gradually grows to a single jet, before bursting through as an unstoppable torrent.
This is the relapse process.
It starts as a single fleeting idea that found a crack in our minds. And if we don't patch that hole up quickly, it will push through from an idea into a desire and finally burst through as an all destructive craving.
The only way to stop is to not give it a chance to find a crack or become a stream. No cracks mean being on our guard constantly and having no access to any addictive material. No stream means no indulgence or toying with the idea.
We are all submariners deep underwater. There is no space for errors. Seal that crack immediately and not let the slightest idea get through.
Water never seep into the submarine through the widest openings, but through the smallest cracks. It starts as a small drip, and gradually grows to a single jet, before bursting through as an unstoppable torrent.
This is the relapse process.
It starts as a single fleeting idea that found a crack in our minds. And if we don't patch that hole up quickly, it will push through from an idea into a desire and finally burst through as an all destructive craving.
The only way to stop is to not give it a chance to find a crack or become a stream. No cracks mean being on our guard constantly and having no access to any addictive material. No stream means no indulgence or toying with the idea.
We are all submariners deep underwater. There is no space for errors. Seal that crack immediately and not let the slightest idea get through.
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AJ7
Active Member
I like that analogy @TakeActionNow in my experience, it seems that a full on relapse can start with something as innocent as looking for a meme or gif. Gotta be wary of those “cracks” in our lives
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
REBOOT IS AN ULTRA MARATHON
Chadd wright the ex-seal ultra runner mentioned the way to get through an ultra is
1. break the race down to its smallest component and conquer them one by one.
2. Never give voice to quitting.
3. It is darkest just before dawn
Rebooting is an ultra marathon
It is at least 90 days short, with multiple peaks and depressions.
Do not look at reboot as having to endure 90 days. The race is actually happening at every moment, and goes on forever. Embrace the journey.
Focus on getting over the current hurdle. Once done, focus on the next hurdle. Don't look too far ahead. One step at a time. One hurdle at a time.
Focus on your achievements, never on your pain. Discomfort is the greatest enabler. Adversity is the mother of invention. You are racing against no one but yourself.
You will prevail.
Reboot is an ultra marathon.
We are all ultra marathoners.
We should be proud.
We are all heros.
Chadd wright the ex-seal ultra runner mentioned the way to get through an ultra is
1. break the race down to its smallest component and conquer them one by one.
2. Never give voice to quitting.
3. It is darkest just before dawn
Rebooting is an ultra marathon
It is at least 90 days short, with multiple peaks and depressions.
Do not look at reboot as having to endure 90 days. The race is actually happening at every moment, and goes on forever. Embrace the journey.
Focus on getting over the current hurdle. Once done, focus on the next hurdle. Don't look too far ahead. One step at a time. One hurdle at a time.
Focus on your achievements, never on your pain. Discomfort is the greatest enabler. Adversity is the mother of invention. You are racing against no one but yourself.
You will prevail.
Reboot is an ultra marathon.
We are all ultra marathoners.
We should be proud.
We are all heros.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Addiction is not simply about the substance.
It's the precurser.
The abused substance is just a matter of choice.
Without one, another substitute will suffice.
To cure addiction is not simply curing substance abuse, its getting to the root of the motivation.
And generally it's poor self care and self love, and an error in judgement about reality.
I've been painting and fasting for a while now and it's pissing me off. I'm gonna give myself an easier day and go easier on me. By that I'll be gentle on my diet and find another rewarding and achieving thing to do. Not slacking, just a change of environment.
It's for the long haul, so I have to manage and pace myself.
I'm actually liking the new me.
He is tougher, harder and more determined.
I like me.
It's the precurser.
The abused substance is just a matter of choice.
Without one, another substitute will suffice.
To cure addiction is not simply curing substance abuse, its getting to the root of the motivation.
And generally it's poor self care and self love, and an error in judgement about reality.
I've been painting and fasting for a while now and it's pissing me off. I'm gonna give myself an easier day and go easier on me. By that I'll be gentle on my diet and find another rewarding and achieving thing to do. Not slacking, just a change of environment.
It's for the long haul, so I have to manage and pace myself.
I'm actually liking the new me.
He is tougher, harder and more determined.
I like me.
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TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Why addiction? To feel good.
Why feel good? Not feeling good
Why not feeling good? Too much / too little
Who gave too much? Others
Who gave too little? Myself
Too much what? Responsibilities
Too little what? Love, care and recognition
So how?
Parcel the responsibilities and deal with them piecemeal instead of all at once.
Increase self recognition, and promote self care and love with rest, happiness and hope.
And then?
Once things are neither too much nor too little, there is no more need for more feel good as I'm already feeling good, well managed and looking ahead positively.
Why feel good? Not feeling good
Why not feeling good? Too much / too little
Who gave too much? Others
Who gave too little? Myself
Too much what? Responsibilities
Too little what? Love, care and recognition
So how?
Parcel the responsibilities and deal with them piecemeal instead of all at once.
Increase self recognition, and promote self care and love with rest, happiness and hope.
And then?
Once things are neither too much nor too little, there is no more need for more feel good as I'm already feeling good, well managed and looking ahead positively.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Today:
A much needed nap and a waffle to go easy on the hunger. Felt so good afterwards. I'm tired!
Found my documents!
Cleared out the dining area
Cleaned out the lobby
Painted the door
Painted the railings
Finished the cornice
Not bad. Happy with myself.
Practice:
Less spoken negative words.
More spoken positive words
Speak aloud to help me remember!
A much needed nap and a waffle to go easy on the hunger. Felt so good afterwards. I'm tired!
Found my documents!
Cleared out the dining area
Cleaned out the lobby
Painted the door
Painted the railings
Finished the cornice
Not bad. Happy with myself.
Practice:
Less spoken negative words.
More spoken positive words
Speak aloud to help me remember!
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
@Blondie
I realize now what the lingering mental calls are, and there's no need to worry about them. I'll explain.
I have 3 types of ex gf:
Nice short flings that didn't develop further.
Short relationships that shouldn't have started
Long relationships that didn't survive
Of the first and third I would occasionally recall them, sometimes fondly. But that doesn't mean I'm going to call them up and catchup or more.
They are probably wives and mothers now with their own family and life.
It makes utterly no sense to reconnect.
When I'm lonely or miserable or needing a boost, will I call them up? Of course not.
So these mental porn pop-ups are kind of the same to me.
A recall, but not a call to action.
My ex's happened 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago. I could never return to that time.
They of course would not look one bit the same. They are now wrinkly and odd shaped like me.
So returning to an old image or video is
just as unreal. It only hurts us if we allow ourselves back into fantasy.
So when the porn escape suggestion comes up again, it's "oh hello memory, goodbye."
I'm not going back.
Does this make sense to you?
I realize now what the lingering mental calls are, and there's no need to worry about them. I'll explain.
I have 3 types of ex gf:
Nice short flings that didn't develop further.
Short relationships that shouldn't have started
Long relationships that didn't survive
Of the first and third I would occasionally recall them, sometimes fondly. But that doesn't mean I'm going to call them up and catchup or more.
They are probably wives and mothers now with their own family and life.
It makes utterly no sense to reconnect.
When I'm lonely or miserable or needing a boost, will I call them up? Of course not.
So these mental porn pop-ups are kind of the same to me.
A recall, but not a call to action.
My ex's happened 5, 10, 20, 30 years ago. I could never return to that time.
They of course would not look one bit the same. They are now wrinkly and odd shaped like me.
So returning to an old image or video is
just as unreal. It only hurts us if we allow ourselves back into fantasy.
So when the porn escape suggestion comes up again, it's "oh hello memory, goodbye."
I'm not going back.
Does this make sense to you?