Taking Steps Towards Freedom

Hello all.  I'm a 26yr old male who is ready to leave his dark internet past behind him and step forward into a brighter future.  I discovered internet porn back when I was 11 and thought I had found the holy graile of what the internet was for.  I started out slow and simple, basic free pictures and grainy videos.  I continued this trend for quite a few years until my late teens.  My parents had moved, and finally decided to get broadband internet.  My mind was blown at what was out there on the world wide web.  My simple pictures and grainy videos escalated quickly into full pornos and high def pictures.  My tastes were still simple though, nothing that would be considered extreme or out of the ordinanry.

Months had passed and I noticed that my senses seemed dulled.  What used to get me going and off, no longer felt like enough.  I started to search for different things, things I scoffed at months before.  This cycle continued until my use and "fetishes" were at an all time extreme.  I put fetishes in quotes because I know in reality outside of online porn I would never take part in those things, or who knows given enough time I could have taken part in those activities.

Being an introvert did not help my porn use.  I stayed inside and my porn never left the internet, so it was inside with me.  We were buddies hand in hand.  Video games not keeping me entertained, I know something that will.  And so it went for months, then years.  I noticed at age 22 that something may have been off when I had gotten into a relationship and things got sexual.  The first time we tried to have sex my penis was lifeless.  What's this I thought.  Come on man you've got a girl all over you and you decided to go dead on me?  I chalked it up to performance anxiety and never had an issue after that so figured no problem.  I never took into account that my porn use had drastically fallen off from where it was, and that I had unintentionally started a reboot.

Once that relationship ended though I was right back to old habits, and hit them harder then before.  I made it a game to see how many times I could masturbate in a day to porn, and would spend upwards of 8-10 hours looking at porn and rubbing myself raw.  My brain though thought nothing of it.  My excuse, hey it's my day off who am I hurting?  Never took into account that I was hurting myself.  Again years go by and my constant use continues.  No relationship in my way to screw with what's working, and so it goes year after year.

I look at myself now, ashamed of what I've become and who I have hurt.  Over 2 years ago I got into a serious relationship, serious enough we are engaged right now.  I Love her with all of my being, and to see the pain I have caused her and our relationship kills me inside.  When we first got together my porn use drastically fell off again.  I had unintentionally started my second reboot.  Here is where my brain decided to not stick to it.  I got comfortable, and figured, hey our sex life is pretty good, if I feel the urge for some solo action why not take it.  Sure it wasn't bad at first.  Quick little me time and I was right back to doing something else.  But performance issues started creeping up.  Couldn't just go with the old performance anxiety this time had to come up with something else.  Oh sorry honey stressing out at work, just not in the mood.  Oh my potassium levels must be a bit low better eat a few bananas this week.  I'm sure I came up with even dumber excuses then that.  One day I told myself, hey I should just not masturbate as much.  Noticed slight improvements, but fell back into masturbating to porn at least once a day.

It got to the point she asked me to stop looking at porn.  I told her sure no problem, well couldn't keep that promise and then lied to her about my porn use.  I ask myself daily how did I get so lucky to find a woman who is willing to put up with what I have become.  Which leads me to why I'm here.  Our relationship and my porn addiction hit an all-time low over this last year.  To the point that not only did I emotionally cheat on my fiancee, but almost took the step to physically cheat on her too.  Now in my book both of these are one in the same, and I'm not that guy who says, well at least I didn't have sex with her honey.  She told me I have a problem and I scoffed at first thinking that she is crazy, but reading through everything and just taking a mental trip back in time has shown me that I do have a serious problem,and I need to fix it.  Not only for me, but for us and our future.

I took initial steps.  We are going to pre marriage counseling to help us with our communication, rebuilding of trust, and just to strengthen what we have.  While I have learned quite a bit about myself in counseling, I have found that I am far to weak to try to break this porn addiction on my own.  In the last two months I have tried and relapsed several times during the reboot which is why I am starting this journal.  This will be my daily reminder of what I am doing and who I am doing this for.  It won't be easy, but I know that with the support of my beautiful loving fiancee and this community I will overcome this addiction and rise above it and take my steps of freedom when it is all said and done.  I look forward to interacting with this community and hope I can be a positive influence on it.

Thanks.
 
8/25/14

An emotional start to a second day of rebooting.  I know what some of my triggers are and plan to avoid them with a positive outlook and keeping myself busy.  When my mind wanders I find myself looking for that fix to fill what isn't there.  Fortunately working 12hrs shifts helps curve that craving, and usually leaves me far to tired to actually want to do anything after work so I have that going for me.

My fiancee read my first journal entry and I'm not sure how she feels about it.  It was definitely an emotional morning before work, and I hate that I had to leave to go to work instead of being able to hold and comfort her.  I probably wouldn't even post from work like I am now, but I needed to get my thoughts out so they wouldn't eat me up inside.

We're going to talk later tonight and I'm hoping that she'll try to see some light through all of thisbdarkness right now.

Well I guess I should start working, just have to remember to stay positive and look towards the daily goal.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/25/14

Honestly didn't expect to post twice today but between heavy emotions and stress today I need to.  I really felt urges to want to escape, use porn, and just release.  I had to really calm my mind and remind myself why I'm doing this, who it's for, and just power through the urges.  Happy to report that I didn't use and feel really good about that.  I may only be a couple of days into this reboot, but I feel really good about it so far.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/26/14

I guess you would call this a dull day.  No urges or desires today.  Honestly I don't think my penis has felt more lifeless right now.  I've read about the dead feeling, and I'm not sure if it is that or if it is just one of those days.  If anyone else has had any experience like that let me know that would help clear up where I am.  I don't want to think that my body could move that fast, but I know everyone experiences rebooting differently.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/27/14

Day 4 of reboot.  So far so good.  My fiancee has been sending me articles to read and they really are a breathe of fresh air and encouragement.  I know that we both still have quite a road ahead of us, and as much as she supports me I know I can do more to help and support her through this.  But I believe we can do it, and come out stronger than before.

I'm a bit nervous about days off coming up, but I have made it a point to try to dismiss any urges if they arise, and I know reading stories here will definitely help keep my mind focused on the goal at hand.  This website has been quite the blessing.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/28/14

Day 5 of reboot.  Very productive and positive day.  Thursday's are a counseling day, and always leave me feeling better about my day.  I've been keeping my mind busy thinking about things I can do and need to do.  I've always got this forum in the back of my head as well so I'm sure that helps.  About to head out with the fiancee to see a movie and have a nice time.  Hope everyone else has a nice evening, cheers.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/29/14

Today was a good day.  I found a great accountability partner and am looking forward to knowing that I have another person in my support team.  No urges or any issues today.  Here's looking forward to a good weekend.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/30/14

Sorry for the late journal entry, I had planned on doing it late last night and forgot to.  Day 7 of a really strong reboot.  Had no urges or desires and kept my mind busy with the world around me.  I'll update this later with today's events, if any. 

-voidwarranty-
 
8/31/14

day 8 of reboot and looking good so far.  The emotional tension is very high in my relationship right now and I feel like I'm going to spiral into a very low hole.  While I have a strong feeling that I wont go back to porn, I do know that my depression will hit pretty hard.  Here's praying that somehow I'm wrong about what might happen tonight.

~voidwarranty~
 
9/1/14

Day 9 and feeling fine.  I haven't had any urges or desires to look at porn.  Last night brought a very loving and open fiancee to the table that was us to really talk about how we are feeling about the current situation.  It was a talk that I believe we should have had quite a while ago, but I'm glad we had it.  My biggest fear about this reboot right now is the fantasy and the withdrawals.  I believe I can handle the withdrawal symptoms, but I do worry that my mind will try to sabotage me some how.  I'm really praying that just automatically dismissing those types of thoughts or ideas just cuts them off quick with no issue.  I'll be back tomorrow with another update fellow travelers.

-voidwarranty-
 
It sounds like you have a very supportive woman in your life - that's awesome! I'm sure there will be ups and downs in the future between you and her, but all in all it sounds like you have yourself a keeper!

Keep your head high and stay focused on the goal.
 
Thank you, you are definitely right, and I know without her support I wouldn't be where I am now.

Day 10 of reboot.  It feels good to hit double digits, and I must say my spirits are high.  Between a 14hr work day and running around a mall after work, haven't had any time for my brain to try to throw any whrenches at me and try to get me off course.  I have had a bad headache the last few days and do feel slightly restless, can I chalk that up to withdrawal symptoms, or am I just getting sick.  I'll keep you guys updated.  Here's looking forward to a nice four day weekend.

-voidwarranty-
 
9/3/14

Day 11 of reboot.  Well I think I was just getting sick because that headache is gone.  I still sometimes feel restless, which could be some type of withdrawal symptom.  My biggest concern lately hasn't been relapse so much as over all performance in the bedroom.  Erections are still sporadic, and while initial arousal is good, maintaining seems to be an issue at times.  I know that in time it will pass, but in the moment it still gets me down.

I really feel like a non typical reboot case right now.  I feel outside of the norm from what I've read, and how others deal with the reboot process.  I know I should feel lucky and blessed, but it almost makes me feel like a burden sometimes, or that I'm doing something wrong.  Could just be the knowledge that between people in my life and this onling community there is tons of support to go around.

-voidwarranty-
 
9/4/14

Day 12 of reboot.  Pretty normal day, kept my mind busy and kept myself from having any thoughts of porn.  Looking forward to Saturday and getting out of the house with my fiancee.  I like that I keep the knowledge of having to update my journal everyday keeps this site stuck square in my mind.  Feels like another net to stop myself before I do anything I'll regret.

-voidwarranty-
 
9/5/14

Day 13 of reboot.  Got called into work tonight.  Felt really down about it since I got the call today, and have no clue why.  No urges or desires to cheat on my reboot process.  I'll throw you guys an update tomorrow.  Stay strong fellow rebooters.

-voidwarranty-
 
9/6/14

Late update, but day 14 of reboot.  I find myself feeling like I can't properly unwind right now, I'm really hoping that passes soon.  Work tomorrow, so better get some sleep.

-voidwarranty-
 
9/7/14

Day 15 of reboot.  I've been feeling like I want to be alone, I'm assuming it coencides with the feeling of not being able to unwind properly.  I think I really just want to veg out for a few hours playing some video games.  I need to plan something for this weekend.  With a long work week ahead of me my updates will probably be boring, but positive.  Cheers

-voidwarranty-
 
9/8/14

Day 16 of reboot, work sucked and I'm exhausted.  I'm hitting the pillow in the next 30-40 mins.  Told you these updates would be bland the next couple of days.  Positive dreams fellow boosters.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/9/14

Day 17 of reboot.  Long day at work, one more to go.  Really want to veg out this weekend with video games and movies.  Alright off to bed for me, until tomorrow fellow rebooters.

-voidwarranty-
 
8/10/14

Day 18 of reboot.  My weekend is finally here and I'm happy I can unwind and destress from work this week.  I need to catch up on some serious sleep and try to get past this mood I've been in.  I keep getting this feeling like something big is going to hit soon, whether it is a mass of urges to want to look at porn, or what I don't know.  I'll keep my journal updated with how I'm feeling.  For now some nice cuddle time, and tv are in order, before some nice sleep tonight.

-voidwarranty-
 
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