DAY 23
OMFG I just came outrageously close to using. Crisis averted though. NOT TODAY!
I was clearing out my computer's trash and double checking that there wasn't anything in there I still needed. Now before this reboot began, I was careful to get rid of all my P. Or so I thought. There was one folder in there with pictures of my favorite pornstar, one of those "porn girlfriends" whose pics I would turn to time and time again.
When I found the folder, I had a brief moment of wanting to open it, "just to check" that that's what it was. For a split second, I told myself it would be okay "just to look." NOPE, NOT TODAY.
Almost immediately, my new habit of stepping back and taking a moment to breathe kicked in. I thought about how shitty I would feel after yielding to that stupid impulse. I thought about how far I've come in this reboot and the place I would slide back to if I gave in. I reminded myself there's no such thing as "just one look." I deleted the file, unopened, and got on here to write about defeating that craving.
The really cool thing about winning a battle like that is that I've come away with a little boost of self-confidence knowing that I could have used today, but I didn't. It's also good to know that my computer is 100% porn free.
--MOM